Yamie Thoughts

聼『T-Time』，重新認識Tanya

2006-06-02T14:32:00.000+08:00

文:Yamie

經過一年多的漫長等待，陰暗的天空終于露出陽光，溫暖了疲累的心。好久不見的一把聲音又再一次闖入了你我的心房，輕輕哼唱「Beautiful Love」。

在聆聽Tanya蔡健雅的新作『T-Time』裏的5首歌曲，忽然一陣感動，說不出話來的感覺湧上心頭。

因爲我們終于又在音樂之路，遇見最熟悉的Tanya了，只是現在的她更成熟了，也更才華洋溢。

新來的歌迷或許還來不及感受這股震撼，但如果是一路聼著Tanya音樂的人，一定會起共鳴。

不知不覺的，經過10年的醖釀，商業化的改革，最初感動我們的那把聲音也變了。不曉得怎麽的，但一直覺得「蔡健雅」和「Tanya」這兩個名字代表著不同的意義，兩個不同的方向，不斷地進行拉鋸戰，捆住了Tanya的心，更挑戰了她的極限。

如果一提「Tanya」，想必大家馬上聯想到的一定是那個創作獨特，個性十足的創作人。就像在環球時代的音樂一樣，沒有太多拘束，很自由灑脫的。腦子裏立刻浮現的畫面就是Tanya輕鬆寫意地抱住吉他，輕輕彈出幾個淡淡的音符作爲背景，這一切即自然又隨性。

但如果一説到「蔡健雅」，相信大家第一個反應就是那一個『都會情歌代言人』的雅稱，更對於她的演唱實力刮目相看吧？「蔡健雅」到了華納批上城市的外衣，神態自信穩重，更多了一些成熟女性的韻味。

不過卻讓許多一開始就注意Tanya音樂的朋友產生了一份的距離感。

因爲這個「蔡健雅」不再跟大家分享心思，不再隨性開朗了。尤其是在「雙棲動物」裏，她變得更深沉内斂，甚至把自己當作第三者來分析一切，讓人再也感受不到Tanya的特質了，所以很多人也開始質疑華納是否改變了Tanya，因爲他們已經漸漸看不到Tanya的影子了。

當然不是說在華納的「蔡健雅」不好，因爲在華納的「蔡健雅」讓我們看到了很傑出的表現。這不僅僅是以演唱者的身份感動人，更是以一個音樂工作者的認真，感染了整張專輯。所以現在我們看到的「蔡健雅」已經是一個獲得臺灣金曲獎肯定的「女歌手」和「製作人」，更是樂迷們開始留意的一個名字。

但無可否認的是，「雙棲動物」的的確確少了Tanya的味道，更讓人覺得不讓擁有獨特創作實力的她美專，無疑是音樂界的一大遺憾。就這樣子一味地將歌手的「蔡健雅」塑造成主流歌手，讓Tanya和華納都迷失了方向，更陷入沼澤，寸步難移。Tanya開始自我懷疑，公司對市場沒信心，更失去了作戰的精神，讓「雙棲動物」成爲了一大音樂遺憾。

唯一可以安慰的是，「雙棲動物」並沒有錯。因爲無論在演藝詮釋上，還是音樂製作上，它都達到了非一般的水準，讓它成爲2005年其中一張最佳的流行音樂專輯。對於一直處於猜測狀況的Tanya而言，迷失的源頭應該已經漸漸清晰了。

是音樂，在Tanya的世界裏，音樂是無法取代的。就算再好的演繹，更好的製作，少了Tanya那獨特的音樂性，縂就會讓人深感遺憾的。因此這次的「T-Time」，Tanya不再迷惘了。

從一開始非常抗拒做精選集，到最後的妥協，我們看到Tanya對於音樂的執著和信仰。這次的她不再聽從他人，而是自我爭取一切。從專輯開案時不斷強求一定要5首新歌，到後來強硬要求自己安排主打，甚至親自下海當任製作人、混音師、錄音師等，不分日夜細細製作每一首歌曲，我們都感受到了Tanya的認真。

儘管Tanya說這次讓大家看到全新的「蔡健雅」，但熟悉Tanya的朋友應該不難發現，現在這個由Tanya親自率領的多元化「蔡健雅」，其實就是我們好久不見的那個「Tanya」了。

只是現在的這個「Tanya」也變了。她變得自信有主見，對於音樂多了一股專業，卻沒有遺失那一份最初的好奇心。在聼著全新的「障眼法」和「過動兒」，我微笑了。這才是我們最熟悉的蔡健雅才對。在自信穩重中，帶些孩子氣的調皮，對世間萬物充滿著好奇心。

如果2003年的「陌生人」讓你驚覺她的才華洋溢，2005年的「雙棲動物」讓你聽見她的實力，那2006年的「T-Time」會帶給你全新視聽覺極大震撼，因爲此時此刻的你只有到現在才發現，眼前的這個「Tanya」原來一直都是一個難以推敲的迷團，永遠都是充滿著意外和驚喜。

2006年，重新出發的她捨棄「蔡健雅」所帶來的華麗包袱，不再當冷漠的「陌生人」，企圖用自己最真的個性來接近大家，讓你們看到更清新自然的「Tanya」。

一把吉他，一個微笑，Tanya再一次輕鬆地走到你我的身邊，跟我們用最愉悅的心情一起度過最Beautiful的「T-Time」。

（原自：TANYA歌迷部 @ http://tw.club.yahoo.com/clubs/chua-tanya/ ）

Reviews: Ouran High School Host Club

2006-04-25T23:44:00.000+08:00

Alright, alright, time to filfull my long overdue promise to tell you guys about the comic I'm reading recently.

First, the title of it is: Ouran High School Host Club (Or 櫻蘭高校男公關部，for those who reading in english, it is now released at volume 6, while the chinese version is now at vol 7 (Coming Soon). If you are reading the Taiwan version as I am, then stay tune for volume 8 (which is now released in Japan).

For those who prefer Anime to comic, then, I'm telling ya the series is now airring in Japan on Mon/Tue (depending on which part of Japan you are at) and now at part 4.

Okay, enough on the media info, now I should be tell you abt the story...

Ouran High School is a exclusive private school (I know I'm repeating myself but you will soon know why...), in short you have to have social status and brain to enter the school... You have to be SOMEBODY somehow and really rich... Coz the uniform cost 300 000 Yen for one suit... =.=|b

But our main lead is a poor student who had earned the scholarship of the school (Actually, I find the lead to be more of a normal income family, but the minute you compare it with the other Ouran students, the lead is said to be poor and suffering.) Haruhi is said to be a exceptional scholarship, as no one has ever entered the school on scholarship. It would be fine for the lead if not for a little accident that happened on the first day of school.

In short Haruhi Fujioka, our beloved lead stepped into the famous Host Club and broke a vase. The vase cost ￥8,000,000 ^^~ and seeing that Haruhi-kun is poor, Tamaki-kun (King and President of Host Club) decided that Haruhi-kun would be an Inu of the club, meaning a dog or according to Kyoya-senpai, a servant until Haruhi-kun leaves the school.

However, Hikaru and Kaoru (Twins and classmates of Haruhi) soon discovered that under that untidy dressing of Haruhi-kun (Haruhi has no money to buy the uniform so the best way is to wore a old shirt of dou-san~ Note:It's not that her fashion sense is poor, but she will throw on whatever's at hand, no matter how crummy it looks), Haruhi-kun actually looks cute and gets "promoted" to be a Host instead.

But it took the club members some time to figure out that Haruki-"kun", is actually a girl... So now she continues to work in disguise to pay off her debt. The secret that Haruhi is a girl stays within the club and the boys would fight with all they got to keep Haruhi's secret, in order to keep her in the club. (It seems that all the boys had grown fond of Haruhi and Tamaki even remarks that Haruhi would remain as the O Hime-sama (Princess) of Host Club.

In all it is a funny series and I really enjoyed it...

Here's something on Haruhi... (I like her character~ haha)

Haruhi doesn't appreciate the preceived differences between the sexes, so she is very casual about working as a host. She is naïve and oblivious about certain things. However, she is bluntly honest and usually says what's on her mind. If it can be taken as an insult, that usually isn't what she means because she commonly speaks without malice. She also doesn't care much about looks. When she first met the Host Club, she was a bit distracted by the six gorgeous guys. Now that she's used to them and their eccentricities, it doesn't seem to phase her anymore. She has learned to go with the flow of the club. Her natural charisma makes her a big hit with the clients with her innocent yet honest remarks.

As for Tamaki-kun... I'm not sure... haha sometimes I think he's cool but like Haruhi-chan, I tend to see him more of an annoying idiot~! haha~

Tamaki is very emotional and has an enormous, sensitive ego. He gets depressed "funks" when he or his ego is hurt. He also likes to experiment with new things - in other words, things of the commonfolk. He often means well, particularly with things concerning Haruhi, but sometimes his good intentions blow up in his face. He is very much a drama queen, or king in this matter, and likes things to be grand and extravagant, especially when it comes to the Host Club. He can tear up at will, though his tears are usually genuine, except he does overreact a lot. He is easily upset when it comes to certain things.

Character info taken from: For Richer or Poorer
http://ouran.krysyuy.net/ouran.html

Thoughts: 21st Birthdays

2006-04-14T17:56:00.000+08:00

Oh wow~ I just heard from my mum that tomorrow is actually my Chinese Birthday...
How .... nice... haha~

Really, I have never been one for parties and celebrations... especially in my favour~
But it seems that this year is different... well, as different as it can be to my friends and family...

First, I got the million dollar question from all my classmates~ err.. ex-ones that's it~ Haven't been to a school for almost a year...

When am I going to have my birthday party?

God...
And I'm not even aware that they know when is my birthday~
Well, they never use to make it a point to say a Happy Birthday then...
(Note~ I said classmates, some friends are really cool~)

Then again, I am not one to make it a big deal anyway...

So years go by, now I am faced with that big 21....
And it seems everyone is making a deal out of it...
Considering the shocking number of SMS I received from everyone out of nowhere...

Hmmm.... what's the point of celebrating?
It's just the number of years that flew by you without you noticing...
Oh ya, after that big 21, you will start noticing...(laughs~)

I guess I should put a list of birthday wish on here huh?
Just to get into the mood of it... Coz I know 80% will not come true anyway~

Birthday List:
1- Get a good long rest and live my life simple...
2- See how an album is produced...
3- Get my hand on that extinct Tanya Chua single Alright
4- Find a way to make and keep every one I care for happy
5- Less headlines and problems on earth
6- Learn to play the guitar... (God knows I have been putting that off for years)
7- Get a new PC???
8- Write a song???

Wow~ My list is a sadist...
But really, not that I care...
I't just another list...

Thoughts: Things are never the way they appear to be

2006-04-05T00:01:00.000+08:00

Looking at my title, how many of you are actually muttering, "I knew that already~"? I think many would be... It is almost normal to say that this is a fact of life...

But wait a minute, this baby here is still trying to grasp the fact...

I knew that fact, really...
But I never believe that...

Funny how you can acknowledge things without believing in them...
That's what I did and that's how I got a culture shock today...

I just don't get it...

How could people say nice thing to hide a more sinful reason?
God, and to think this fool here was touched for a while when she hears the nice thing.

Damn all, why make things so bloody Complicated?

I am a bit upset by how people actually played one up only to get rid of them...
I think that's really mean... coz you can always confront that person and give a chance but no... they chickened out and chose the easy way...

And what a joke it is...
The so called easy way out would be to lie and pretend to be nice...

No, don't worry, I'm no victim here...
Just a reason for someone to "care" about and dismiss another...

To think I was once touched by the concern....

No, face it kid...
Life is never that sweet and kind....

In short...

Things are never the way they appear to be!

心理測驗: 你是哪朵女人花？

2006-03-31T23:47:00.000+08:00

D 梅花（代表人物—Hebe）
梅花是世界著名的觀賞花木之一，它以風韻美而著稱，每當冬末春初，疏花點點，清香四溢，在中國它與松竹并稱爲“歲寒三友”。古往今來，詠花的詩詞歌賦以梅爲題者最多，或詠其風韻獨勝，或吟其神行俱清，或贊其标格秀雅，或頌其節操凝重。如果你當選了這朵女人花，從表面上看，你應該是堅強保守的甚至你周圍的朋友都認爲你清新得有些孤傲，但是你卻擁有非同尋常的熱情，在面對生活時，那種熱情如同雪中的一束紅梅，在你心底有着對世間一切最純真的想法，正如被雪水浸潤過後呈現出的梅花最純淨的顔色，你有情卻不多情，你可以改變卻不善變，膚淺的男生不會走近你，走近你的一定是注定幸福的男生。

Thoughts:
Okay, I just did this test at the China site and am quite amused...
Hmmm.... Hebe huh? Well, I was mentioned a couple of times by my friends that I did had a Hebe personality... So maybe it is true~ Laughs~

But going back to the results, it is quite true at some points...
Eg:
「從表面上看，你應該是堅強保守的
甚至你周圍的朋友都認爲你清新得有些孤傲，
但是你卻擁有非同尋常的熱情」

Many did feel that I'm a rather cold person to be with but yet after knowing me, they would not feel that way... I do rather be cold and in control in situation that I'm not familiar with, then with friends I can relax....

「在你心底有着對世間一切最純真的想法，正如被雪水浸潤過後呈現出的梅花最純淨的顔色」

Well, I guess I can be naive at times... I do hope for all the impossible and then get upset at how the world turns up to be... And I realised recently... I do tend to trust people a little too much... laughs~ Guess you can say I try to see the good of everyone huh? haha~

「你有情卻不多情，你可以改變卻不善變」

Hmmm.... that line makes me sound so good... I do wish I'm like that but well, that I never know~

音樂：蘇菲亞的願望 --J.S

2006-03-27T00:32:00.000+08:00

蘇菲亞的願望
作詞：陳忠義　作曲：陳忠義　編曲：陳忠義/黃中岳

Sophia離開了她的家　為了一個遙不可及的夢想
揮別了　深愛她的爹娘　還有從小看她長大　巷子口雜貨店的張媽媽

Sophia她不太會說話　對這世界總有些奇怪想法
雖然說　沒有人了解她　也許夢想中的城市　會有她的舞台綻放光芒

原諒她　只有這一個願望　就像每一個孩子一樣
很難嗎　還要付出什麼代價　上帝才能夠成全她

＊她沉重的行囊　裝著小小願望　陪著她　這一路闖蕩
　也許掙扎　也許害怕　無所謂吧　下一步是天堂

＃這閃亮的城市　卻看不見星光　忽然她　眼淚就落下
　世界太小　夢想太大　難道人生是殘酷的笑話
（世界再小　夢想再大　人生不會是殘酷的笑話）

Sophia剪掉了長頭髮　單純臉頰畫上了鮮豔的粧
雖然她　不認識那個她　她卻不斷說服自己　這樣的情況還不算太差

他們說　實現夢想的籌碼　就是輸掉一點點自己
但是她　看著鏡子裡面的她　懷疑這是她要的嗎

Repeat ＊,＃

你或許聽說過她　Sophia
或其實你也是她　給她一點安慰吧

Repeat ＊,(＃)

她沉重的行囊　裝著小小願望　陪著她　這一路闖蕩
世界再小　夢想再大　唯一不變的是她 Sophia

Note:
This song was first introduced to me by Ella,
she mentioned that she cried when listening to the lyric and was certain that anyone away from home who feel like how Sophia did in the song...

I truly agreed with her and almost cried myself when I heard the song...
It has been sometime since I last heard it but now upon listening,
I felt truly touched and sad...

How is it that, we are always lost along the way of life and losing parts of ourselves... Sometimes, I can't even recognised myself and wonder what the hell am I doing?

My favourtie line is:
「他們說　實現夢想的籌碼　就是輸掉一點點自己
但是她　看著鏡子裡面的她　懷疑這是她要的嗎」

I don't know how you all are feeling, but now even with a job,
I'm feeling terribly lost and unsure of myself.

Yes, I am finally working and lessened the load of my family,
But, I still feel that some parts of me missing.

Been to my friend's 21st birthday party recently and heard everyone telling me that I've changed. But had I? I never felt so, but yet, I can't deny the fact. I am changed. I don't look like I used to, and I don't think like how I used to...

Things are changing, and I'm losing faith...

My greatest fear is to be like anyone else...
Yet, I'm fast becoming like anyone eles...

Dream...
Whenever was the time where things are just the way they are,
And everything seems just so fine? I missed them all... and most of all,
I missed myself...

Thoughts: New Blogskin~

2006-03-23T19:12:00.000+08:00

Oh yes~ I'm finally here around~ God~ I almost forgot how to do the skin~ haha~ but really... It has been some time since I last did something on this blog... I bet you guys (If you are still here~) truly thought that I'm dead or somehow~ haha~

I think I do agree with the sentence... Coz I do feel that some parts of me had died off~ and I just can't do anything I enjoy nowaday~ It saddening but I guess this is what growing up is about...

Okay, forget about the blues now~

Hey I just did a skin~ and it's still an Ella one~ Laughs~
But I think I like it alot~ do give me some feedback on it ok?

Cheers~

自做圖：S.H.E 最新單曲【一眼萬年】簽名檔

2006-02-19T01:48:00.000+08:00

*上圖為S.H.E 最新單曲【一眼萬年】簽名檔

做好這張簽名檔時已經淩晨3點左右了，
累得很，但卻因爲好勝心強，不肯對周公低頭，所以用著睡眼惺忪的樣子，跟睡眠抗戰到底半小時~
這個就是小米與周公之戰的後裔~哈哈~

其實根本就沒什麽~

所以說。。。。

逞強個屁阿~ 有的睡不去睡~ 宇宙無敵大白癡一個~

米米狂想曲：『瑞希』與『Ella』給人一種似曾相似的感覺

2006-02-16T00:57:00.000+08:00

一看到果報的新聞時就開始對這套漫畫有所好奇，這漫畫在朋友之間深受好評，但我卻從未接觸過。可是未曾接觸，但並不陌生。對於故事一點也不了解的我，這一次也算大開眼界了。

就這個樣子，我用難得的假日，一口氣把23集的漫畫給看完。

想不到，那麽一看，腦海竟然浮現了兩個影子，一個是「百合」，另一個就是「陳嘉樺」本人了。

先簡單說一說「百合」吧？我縂覺得「百合」是個很有影響力的主人翁，因爲她一個人就能改變韓家。同時，在「瑞希」的身上，我也再一次見證到堅持和努力的力量。就是靜靜默默地為喜歡的人付出、鼓勵，強烈地壓抑住自己喜歡他的那一份心意，真的讓我聯想到「百合」。

不過「瑞希」比「百合」幸福，因爲至少她一開始就受到很多人愛護，這感覺跟我們認識的「陳嘉樺」同學非常之神似。

應該說「瑞希」就是有一種讓人無法不去喜歡她的魔力吧？就算是一直在嘴上念說「瑞希」很煩人的「同性戀校醫」，也忍不住為她擔心和關注。就連第二天就已經知道「瑞希」是女兒身的「泉」也絕口不揭穿她的秘密，到甚至最一直後嫌她是娘娘腔的「森」也不禁抱了她說出：「等我有自信能超越哥哥時，我會回來。。回來對你說的。」雖然「森」的話後來一直沒有下文，但從他的口氣中，顯然的他已經對「瑞希」改觀了。

從漫畫看來，「瑞希」是一個很受到保護的孩子，不管何時何處，都會有一個人真心地幫助她，讓她排除萬難。這一點，又讓我想到了「Ella」。「瑞希」的好人緣，很清楚的，在活生生的「Ella」身上出現了。不管是家人、朋友、好友、工作人員，甚至仰慕的人，大家對於「Ella」縂有一種保護心態，甚至有意無意地把心思放在她的身上。

Selina和Hebe常說：「S.H.E中人緣最好的就屬Ella了」，而我們也可以從大家的口中探出口風，像綜藝節目中常常會有人有意無意提到，甚至表露出欣賞的口吻，這一切切正是「Ella」獨一無二的魔力，讓人不斷驚奇，看似平凡的她竟然能夠輕易牽動我們的視線。

硬要辯論的話，大家也只能歸功於「Ella」那平凡中現在不平凡的王者氣息吧？那股明明愛哭得像一般女生，卻又給人很穩重的安全感，讓人不得不去靠近她，想去了解這個女生到底是怎麽一回事？

同樣的，天真樂天的「瑞希」也何曾不是在兩個極端中徘徊，時而愛哭，時而直爽堅決地追求正義感。

她們重視朋友的程度也一樣，就像「瑞希」可以爲了「秀一」衝動地罵老師，不惜任何後果，「Ella」也被好姐妹Hebe認爲是；「如果傷害到Ella的朋友，她一定會跟你拼命的」。

個性上來說，不知道應該學「同性戀校醫」說的：「讓人頭痛的單純」，還是應該說她們傻得可愛。直爽任性的兩個女生非常有趣，常常會做出驚人之舉令人咂舌。不過兩個人的遲鈍也一樣讓人哭笑不得。如果說「瑞希」是神經太大條常常感受不到身邊的情緒飄動和沒有危險意識，那「Ella」應該就是屬於傻呼呼傻笑型了。「Ella」的傻不僅次於「瑞希」的遲鈍，因爲像Selina和Hebe常常都會說；「陳嘉樺，妳不要傻傻的，又被騙了~」，而在一起工作的張郎哥也忍不住說：「Ella太容易相信人了，這一點讓我看來是一個缺點。」

兩個人雖然讓人有擔心的缺點，同時也有讓人不得不佩服的骨氣和堅持。如果說「瑞希」離鄉背井一路從美國追隨「泉」又假裝男生進入男校展現了她的決心，那「Ella」何曾也不是一口氣勇闖這個娛樂圈呢？就因爲那一句：「一旦進入演藝圈就會不了頭了」，讓一開始的她不斷壓迫自己力爭上游，終于得熬到出人頭地的那一天。兩個人的決心不分上下，堅守自己的夢想和崗位，不斷地寫出精彩樂章，同時也背負著不爲人知的壓力。

聯想到此，我不禁要佩服那一位能立即把「瑞希」和「Ella」聯想在一起的製作人，因爲他慧眼識英雄地讓我們看到活生生的「瑞希」。

也許「憲哥」說的沒錯，「全臺灣最卡通漫畫的藝人」真的就只有Ella了，因爲在這個平凡又奧妙的女生身上，我們不單看到善良的「百合」，更看到了意志堅決的「瑞希」。

兩個深入民心的漫畫人物的氣息，無獨有偶地在以同一個人的身上可以找尋得到。一想到這一點，我真的迫不及待像見識一下「瑞希」和「Ella」的結合會事怎麽樣子的~

大家呢？

米米筆跡9：漫畫萬歲~

2006-02-16T00:44:00.000+08:00

哇~已經有好長的一段時間沒有回到部落客了，差一點點就把它給遺忘了~

最近的我在做什麽呢？還不是要忙工作~天阿~原來出來工作是如此辛苦的阿~
啊娘啊~ 我真懷念小時候的時光，腦中不斷高歌一曲：「我不想我不想長大長大后世界就沒有童話」~

不過倒也沒有完全跟童年斷絕吧？

最近剛拿了薪水，一口氣就買了一套22集的漫畫，價格差點讓人暈倒~
不過我還是狠下心買了下來，因爲辛苦了兩個月，錢全往家裏貼，沒機會慰勞自己真的有點寒酸！
所以我二話不説地把百多元新幣（大概新台幣2200元），花掉了~

奇跡的是，老媽竟然連罵也沒罵一聲，還很努力地幫我找漫畫~
本以爲會被罵死，但老媽卻還蠻贊同我買的，雖然心疼，但覺得只要我花得開心滿意就好~
因爲畢竟是我辛苦賺來錢~

不過也不知道是因爲最近買了全套22集『偵探學園Q』的後遺症，還是重新點燃我熱愛漫畫的興趣，
我今天竟然又跑去買了『花樣少年少女』（又名：『偷偷愛著你』）。

聽説是因爲Ella要準備拍偶像劇，所以對這套漫畫特別有興趣。。。
看完后，突然覺得其實少女漫畫也蠻好看的~哈哈~

Wishes: Happy Birthday Tanya~

2006-01-28T01:25:00.000+08:00

Woz, it's my favourite Lao Da's big day today~

What to do?

Listen to her music till I drop dead~

I think many people don't agree with me when I say her music is the best but to me, I can find a sense of belonging in her music... Words I never mentioned, could be say out aloud by her songs... That's why I love her music~

Just gonna say that I'm damn proud of her and really appreciate her efforts in the local music scenes... I think it's really cool how she tries to bring in local talent to taiwan market even though we all know that she would never be appreciated by the taiwan musicians~ Heck~ Who cares~ As long as we know she is good that's enough for me~

So this year, have a great time doing what your heart desires...
Do whatever music you like, gal~
I'll be supporting you always~

Love music, Love ya~
Thank you for being part of my life, Tanya Chua~

Happy Birthday To You!

Thoughts: Reflections

2006-01-14T22:10:00.000+08:00

Much of this week just flies by, I really have no idea what to write on the blog.
Most of my time had been working and there is really nothing much to say on these.

Well, just this week I have also spent some of my times chasing after S.H.E...
I got the chance to meet them along with some of my friends and it was really a brand new experience having to chase them.

But I am not sure about something.

Maybe I just think too much...

Selina says if you think too much your hands will have many lines,
And a read at my palms, I did see that I have lots of tiny confusing lines....
Hmmm maybe I do think too much...

Yet I can't help myself...

I wonder how they would feel been chased like runaways?
It is truly amazing to see how many fans would chase them on cars...
I like the chance to see them close up but some part of my brain just asked

"Am I stepping over the line?"

Then again when I see how happy Ella was to interact with us, I doubt myself again...

"Maybe they are just amazed to see us?"

I think the one thing that make me feel very much contented from this trip would be that I finally got the chance to tell Ella how I feel...

看了看我的話，感覺上一點也不像是一個歌迷應該寫的信件内容吧？或許我應該寫：「Ella妳唱得好」、「我好喜歡『不想長大』這張專輯」、「Ella，妳還記得我嗎？我是最後跟妳握手的那一位藍衣女生」等，但我縂覺得這一些都是大家都會去說的話，說久了好像沒什麽意思了。

我當然認爲妳唱得很好，否則的話，我幹嘛去買專輯呢？

要是我不喜歡『不想長大』這張專輯，我又怎麽會每一天反復聆聽呢？

至於最後一點，我當然希望妳能記得我，但我覺得那是每一個歌迷的願望，也是一個很吃力又不太可能的願望。要記得一個陌生人不簡單，除非他很突出，我並不覺得我很突出，更沒有去奢望要求妳去記得我，因爲我知道我只是在為妳設下高難度的考驗。

我知道以妳的個性來説，一定會很努力去認識每一個歌迷，讓我們覺得沒有距離感，但如果可以選擇，我更希望妳不需要那麽辛苦去記得每一位歌迷。也許有那麽一天，等再來幾次新加坡，妳可能就能開始期待有一個默默祈求妳開心健康的陌生人了。

Sometimes when I see fans talking to their idols, I do realised that they tend to expect something, like them to remember them...

I mean I would love it if my idol remembers me but that would be really hard on that idol coz you're not the only fan, and you are putting the idol in a bad situation.

What if the idol don't remember you?
Is the idol going to lie just to make you feel better or be truthful?

If I know Ella, she would rather force herself to remember as much and if she missed out any, she would start to feel bad. That is one sort of pressure I don't want someone I like to feel.

I don't mind being unnoticed as long as my idol is happy...
Yet this time around, it saddened me to see Ella so tired and not feeling well...
I would wish that she is doing better now...

Hmmm... she did seems fine the next day...
Then again knowing her, she could be just keeping it to herself...

Oh well...

All the best to everyone out there, especially if you are in Singapore...
The weather is getting cold and wet these days and really easy to be sick~
So take care and keep warm~

原創故事：灰天 Part 2

2006-01-14T21:56:00.000+08:00

「他是愛她的。。。」
被Selina和Hebe砲轟后的凱賢在看展燿寫給他的信，只能有一個結論。

「我從不後悔認識Ella，因爲她是我生命中最重要的一個人。

不過，現在的我很内疚。我寧可當時沒有鼓起勇氣去認識她，因爲如果我沒在球場出現的話，現在的她應該會更快樂一些。如果可以的話，我希望一切都沒有發生過，那麽我也不會虧欠她那麽多諾言。

我很想用一輩子去愛她，可是借來的幸福是有期限的。

我知道你喜歡她，不用抵賴了。
要不然的話，你怎麽會那麽花心思幫我想那麽多主意來打動她呢？

老實說，你們才應該在一起。

説到籃球，我想沒有人比你們兩個懂得多吧？就連喜歡的球隊和球員都一樣。你知道嗎？原來你們兩個的品味真的很相似，很多你喜歡的球鞋、手錶和手機等，其實都是她的最愛，所以我每次都會穿著你的鞋子和衣服去討好她。

我真的很妒嫉你。你們的默契好得讓我覺得好可怕，會讓我擔心如果有一天讓她知道你的存在時，她會不會就離我而去了呢？

現在我要把那段跟你借來的幸福歸還給你，請你一定要幫我好好照顧她。除了你以外，我絕不允許任何一個男生接近她，因爲我知道只有你才知道她真正的好。請你要好好照顧她，否則的話，有3個人會等著殺你的哦！

PS:
Selina和Hebe一定會大罵你的，這裡就先說一聲抱歉了!
你可以把事實告訴她們，我覺得她們有必要知道。

展燿」

如果你從沒出現我會不會覺得快樂一些

「你這個大笨蛋~」
凱賢苦笑嘆氣。

幸福怎麽可以借的呢？如果真的可以借的話，那麽世界上就不會有人難過了。既然幸福不能借，豈能說還就還呢？這種愚蠢的説法只是在侮辱愛情。

凱賢真的不敢相信，方展燿明明就是一個很理智的人，怎麽到了愛情卻會有那麽不理智的理解呢？就算展燿不相信自己的魅力，但他怎麽能不感受到Ella對他的愛呢？

就連他這個外人都可以很清楚地感覺到的強烈愛意，身爲男朋友的展燿竟然還會去懷疑。說真的，凱賢也不知道應該為Ella感到不值，還是罵這個好朋友是個大白癡。

如果他真的有機會的話，他還需要展燿的禮讓嗎？

真正的幸福就是要自己去努力抓住的，才不是什麽說借就借還就還的。要是幸福能那麽輕易換取的話，它就不會是無价的。

「方展燿真是一個大笨蛋! 」

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

「方展燿真是一個大笨蛋! 」
挂上電話的Selina和Hebe只能氣呼呼地宣佈說。

爲什麽要那麽懷疑Ella卻又不對她坦白呢？

「他是個自以爲是的混蛋! 我才不管他的死活，可是他凴什麽去打擾Ella的心呢？」
Selina瞪著手上的手機，巴不得可以把那個姓方的傢伙給殺了。

「爲什麽他會懷疑Ella對他的愛呢？」
Hebe倒不像Selina一樣，當場大發雷霆，反倒靜靜地思考出其中的邏輯。

「管他的~ 他根本沒有資格去懷疑Ella對他的愛! 一句話也沒說的就跑回去高雄，連面對事實的勇氣都沒有。枉我還對他說過，『不要讓Ella難過』這句話。你知道這句話的意義有多重要嗎？天啊~ 我竟然相信他耶! 那。。那傢伙竟然還去傷害她。」
Selina抓狂地大聲應道。

她這回可是真的火大了。

她並不在乎其他人怎麽做發生什麽事情。她可以很冷酷，對四周轉變不聞不問，但是只要他們以觸碰到她生活的一部分，他們就死定了。這就是她天蠍座的脾氣。

這次方展燿可是嚴重踩到了地雷。這小子竟然敢傷害她的最好的姐妹之一。

「妳瘋了阿~」
Hebe情急地打了Selina的手臂還用手捂住了她的嘴，但眼睛卻瞄向客廳的方向。

“拜托~ 老天爺阿~ 媽媽，爸爸~ 大哥~~ 千萬不要讓她聽到~”
Hebe在心中默念著，不斷祈求Ella沒聽到Selina說的話。

等了片刻后，四周依舊是一片寧靜，讓Hebe松了一口氣。

「妳找死啊~ 如果被Ella聽到的話，她一定馬上去找他的! 你都知道Ella。。」Hebe轉過身準備狠狠訓Selina一番，但才說到一半時；外頭傳來一聲『碰』的關門聲，「的個性很衝動」Hebe小小聲地繼續說。

果然，她們對於Ella的理解還真的是非一般的強。。。

「妳又不早說~想屁阿!早點提醒我就好了嘛~」
看到Hebe的表情真的僵硬掉時，Selina馬上知道剛才那聲關門聲的意思了。

「妳新來的厚？不知道她的房間就在妳的旁邊嗎？」
Hebe連忙拿了Selina的錢包跑出了房間，一心想追Ella。

「喂喂喂~ 那個是我的耶~」
Selina見此馬上抗議說。

「管妳啊~ 都是妳的錯，所以妳出錢追她!」
Hebe回過頭跟Selina鬥嘴說。

「屁阿~ 妳以爲我好騙阿~」
Selina回敬Hebe說。

「該死啦~ 現在怎麽有時間吵架啊？我們都不知道他住哪？」
Hebe突然想到她們根本沒有人知道展燿的老家在哪。

「死定了啦~我們之中也只有Ella一個人知道!」
Selina睜大眼睛直望Hebe。

從臺北到高雄的方式那麽多，陳艾拉會選那個呢？

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「方展燿真是一個大笨蛋!」
一聽到Selina那麽一說時，靠在墻邊的Ella不禁有點錯愕。

Ella故意什麽也不做，靜靜聆聽著，只希望能得到一些頭緒。

「管他的~ 他根本沒有資格去懷疑Ella對他的愛! 一句話也沒說的就跑回去高雄，連面對事實的勇氣都沒有。枉我還對他說過，『不要讓Ella難過』這句話。你知道這句話的意義有多重要嗎？天啊~ 我竟然相信他耶! 那。。那傢伙竟然還去傷害她。」
她的等待並沒有白費，只是得到的訊息卻讓Ella震驚不已。

「他居然不相信我？」
Ella很難過地望向窗外的天空，不敢相信自己竟然無法給自己最愛的人信心。

「我一定要跟他說清楚~」
想了一下的Ella衝動地決定了。

她什麽也沒拿，就拿了自己的護照和錢包，沖出家門。

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

再一次重游舊地，但那一份喜悅和幸福的感覺卻早已經過了有效日期。Ella走出了火車站，一個人呆呆地望著大街上的人潮。

她還記得上一次來的時候，是和展燿一起自助旅行，兩個人在高雄廣了許多夜市和小店，甚至一起拍了大頭貼留念。只是一個月的光陰，一切的甜蜜感覺頓時消失，讓她好捨不得。

「小姐? 陳小姐?」
突然一個友善的路人甲呼叫著Ella。

「哦~ 啊?」
Ella看了看眼前的路人甲片刻后，才恍然發現那一位所謂的路人甲就是上次她和展燿遊玩時，所遇見的怪叔叔。

一見到那一位怪叔叔時，Ella忍不住笑了。

不，這個所謂的『怪叔叔』並無惡意，只是應該說他説話的方式很奇怪。不管Ella怎麽強調叫他直接稱呼她的名字，那位『怪叔叔』還是喜歡『小姐』長『少爺』短地稱呼他們，讓他們哭笑不得。

「林伯~最近好嗎？會不會很忙啊？」
Ella不愧是外交官，一見到熟悉的臉孔就很親切地和人們打招呼了起來。

「很好很好~ 您一定是來參加少爺的儀式吧？」
林伯笑著招呼起這個小女生。

「哦? 對阿~」Ella本還不知道怎麽回復林伯的問題，但一聽到他提到『少爺』時，就忽然靈機一動，想請林伯幫忙帶路，「對阿~ 我都忘了怎麽去，所以在煩惱阿~」

「沒關係，我帶您去~」
林伯就像一般的伯伯，很熱情地為Ella指引方向。

在林伯的帶領下，Ella和林伯竟然走到了一間在高雄算是鼎鼎有名的飯店。一路上只顧著和林伯聊天的Ella在毫無預備下，就被林伯推進了飯店。

「啊？林伯，怎麽了？」
Ella小心翼翼地問，就擔心自己的露出馬腳。

「當然是給您準備一下~」林伯拍了拍手，拉了幾位在飯廳内的員工，小聲吩咐了一下，「小姐，請您跟她到更衣室好嗎？」

「更衣室？」Ella擡頭看了看金碧輝煌的飯廳裝飾，再看了看自己的舊T衫和破牛仔褲，尷尬地連忙答應「好啊~不好意思哦。」

雖然她還不曉得林伯在為她準備什麽，但她真的開始懷疑了。

看著林伯和飯店人員的互動，感覺上他根本就是他們的頭啊!和飯店人員講話的林伯表情嚴肅，縂有一種尊嚴，讓Ella不得不開始打起十二分精神，不敢再嬉皮笑臉地跟他胡扯了。

說的奇怪的是林伯在對她説話時，除了喜歡用敬語稱呼以外，倒不會給她那種盛氣淩人的感覺。可是爲什麽一旦到了飯店后，大家對於林伯好像很有距離感呢？

最喜歡觀察人的Ella當然發覺這有點奇怪，一般上的伯伯們都是很和藹可親的，但林伯卻給Ella很不同的感覺。

就在參考著林伯到底是哪一號人物時，Ella早已經跟隨一位員工走到了更衣室。

「小姐，這是我們為您所挑選的禮服，希望您會喜歡。」
那位女員工看起來才24歲而已，跟Ella差不多，但是她説話的語氣卻沒有一般年輕人的口吻，反而畢恭畢敬地讓Ella感覺很不自在。

Ella笑笑地接過那位員工手上的小禮服，但一看清楚后只差沒暈倒。

那是裙子阿~ 天知她已經有6年的時間沒穿裙子了，如果現在被Selina和Hebe看到手上的禮服，鐵定大聲尖叫，叫她去為她們簽樂透。

因爲大家都常說；「世界第八奇觀就是陳嘉樺穿裙子」。

不過那套禮服倒不是隨隨便便的一套衣服哦~ 雖然Ella不常穿裙子，但單看顔色和布料質感，它絕對是一套很漂亮的禮服。

那套禮服顔色是淡淡的苹果綠，不但在選色上搭得很特別，也使穿者看起來特別溫和秀氣。設計方面，這個禮服雖然沒有特殊的剪裁，但胸前簡單大方的交叉相曡再配上綠色花紋腰帶，讓這禮服簡單中不失個人特色。

「謝謝你哦~」
看著禮服直接傻眼的Ella尷尬地説道。

「陳小姐請先換上這套禮服和森林綠色的高跟鞋，至於首飾，彩妝和髮型，我們會請專業人士為您打理。」
那位女員工不慌不忙地跟Ella說，讓Ella聼得差點沒跌倒。

「謝~謝~」
Ella吞了吞口水，有點緊張地說。

禮服、高跟鞋、首飾、彩妝和髮型，這到底是怎麽一回事呢？Ella越來越懷疑大家好像有什麽天大的秘密沒有告訴她似的，讓她搞不清初狀況。

不過可以肯定的是她心裏越來越不安了。。。
而這個不安的感覺，跟方展燿很有關係。。。

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

「歡迎大家來到方展燿先生和張立亭小姐的訂婚儀式。」Ella一踏入飯店的豪華舞廳所聽到的第一句話幾乎足以讓她雙腳發軟，當場跌倒。但她還是憑著一股意志力走進了大會。

一走進會場Ella突然發現現場有大批媒體，而閃光燈不斷地閃動不停。

這是她有史以來第一次參加如此大型的活動，更是第一次刻意將自己打扮起來，露出了讓Selina和Hebe羡慕的美腿。在陌生的場合Ella並不會不自在，但是現在的她感覺自己卻是一個局外人。

在一片人山人海中，沒有一個熟悉的臉孔，反倒是許多陌生好奇的眼光。就連在場的媒體也不禁花了不少菲林(film)在Ella的身上。

「如果我沒追來就好。。。」
在閃光燈和商業名流的好奇眼光下，Ella很不自在開始四處尋找一個能讓她感覺到一絲熟悉感的人事物。

「妳怎麽一個人跑來了?」
一把熟悉的聲音在等候著Ella。

「鄭凱賢？你怎麽會在這裡？」
Ella高興地只差沒直接撲上去抱他。

「方展燿終于有種把事實告訴妳了？我想不到這傢伙竟然好學不學，學那些有錢人一樣。我還以爲他會不一樣~」
一提到那個白癡死黨的名字，凱賢也不悅地皺起眉頭。

「展燿和別人訂婚對嗎？不要騙我，不要說不是。他喜歡上別人了，對不對？所有的一切，都是你們在騙我的。他。。他一定是有來頭的人物，不然的話林伯上回也不會一直叫他『少爺』了! 你知道嗎？我真的覺得自己好笨哦~ Hebe常常說我笨笨的，要小心不要被人騙，可是我最後還是被騙了。你不覺得很好笑嗎？」
Ella的眼中滾著熱淚，看樣子就像快要哭出來似的，但她的臉上卻強行挂著僵硬的笑容。

「Ella，妳跟我回去好嗎？這裡妳不應該來的。Selina和Hebe都很擔心妳耶~」
凱賢輕輕抓住了Ella的雙肩，很認真地說。

他並不是在袒護自己的好朋友，他只是更在乎眼前這個女生的心情。要不然的話，他也不會因爲Selina的一通電話就從臺北奔隨而來。

這個女生的真的是個大傻瓜，怎麽會那麽癡情呢？但凱賢也沒理由去責怪她，因爲他自己何嘗也不是一樣的傻嗎？他也不是一樣的一通電話而已，就可以把手上的一切放下不管，連衣服也不換，就一個人跑到飯店來找她。

展燿常常說他們的個性很相似，但這還是凱賢第一次察覺他們的默契。

他不希望看到Ella難過，更不期望讓她親眼看到展燿和別的女生訂婚的樣子。因爲他知道這些只會給她帶來更多的傷害。現在看到Ella雖然穿得很漂亮但臉上卻有著一種迷失的感覺，讓凱賢特別心疼。

就是這個迷失的感覺讓大刺刺的她看起來更像小孩子，感覺非常的無助。

「我覺得我好傻哦~ 回去一定又會被Hebe嘲笑的。」
Ella望著遠方就是不敢正視凱賢的雙眼，但她的聲音卻還是裝作很有「元氣」的樣子。

難怪Ella不知道嗎？

她雖然很會掩飾自己的心情，甚至可以說她是個一流的演員，但是只要是真心關心她的人都會學會看出來的。她的那些笑容或許能瞞過陌生人，可是了解她的人都會因爲她而去學習怎麽解讀她的面具。

就像Selina和Hebe只需要一個眼神就知道Ella的心裏在想什麽，他也不例外。雖然Ella不怎麽認識他，但開從一知道有她的存在開始，凱賢的注意力就從來也離不開她了。

他看過Ella開心的樣子，也看到現在的她。

他突然警覺，她的微笑已經不再無邪了，而是成爲了一種強顏歡笑。她那原本在很溫和開朗的眼神已被取代了，眼睛閃爍的不是快樂而是強忍住的淚光。在她的身上有一種濃濃的憂鬱氣息，讓認識她的人都會給了她而心碎。

「Hebe不會笑妳的，我答應妳。我不會再讓任何人傷害妳的。對不起，我不應該讓展燿走進妳的世界。我。。」
凱賢看著始終不願意面對他的Ella，很心疼地說，但還未來得及說完，Ella卻插了嘴。

「現在追究這一些已經不重要了吧？我只想開開心心祝福他們好嗎？」
Ella笑了笑地拍拍手說，裝作很不在乎的樣子，可是她還是掩飾不了那受傷的難過。

Ella不想聽到凱賢繼續説下去，因爲她感覺如果再聼下去的話，她會害怕自己會忍不住依靠他。凱賢對她太好了，一直在一旁默默地支持著她，任由她幼稚地胡鬧，卻從來也沒笑過她。

「爲什麽？」
凱賢不解地看著Ella。

對於他而言，Ella就像是一個怎麽也解不開的謎團。她總是有一些他驚訝的反應和思考邏輯，常常給他一種新鮮感。

「我想去看看展燿，看到他幸福的樣子而已。」
Ella靜靜地看著人海，小聲地說。

「這對妳來說很重要嗎？」
凱賢很錯愕地問。

据他了解，一般的女生應該會很痛恨背叛吧？但爲什麽她卻一幅欣然接受的樣子，而且還要對方幸福呢？這種包容和縱容應該也只有她吧？

「非常重要，因爲我喜歡看到他笑的樣子，但這一個月來我都看不到他的微笑了。你知道嗎？人最可貴的不是錢財勢力，而是最基本的笑容。笑容能夠很輕易地暖和人心，這是其它七情六慾怎麽也無法取代的。我喜歡看到人笑，更希望成爲讓他們開心的理由，所以如果我的離去能讓他恢復笑容，我願意那麽做。」
Ella淡淡地解説著。

「微笑很重要？這也就是妳寧可假裝開心也不要放聲哭泣的理由了，不是嗎？」
Ella的微笑理論讓凱賢終于明白爲什麽這個女生會被Selina和Hebe說成「愛假堅強的柔弱女生」。

凱賢突然一陣心痛，有一種很想拉著Ella逃跑的衝動，他要讓她離開這個悲傷地。他只能說命運對這個女生太殘酷，而這個女生也逞強過了頭。她應該哭閙，因爲那時失戀和至愛的人背叛了的權利。但是Ella除了早上失控哭了以外，這一整天下來心境平靜得讓他不可思議。

「如果哭就會有人擔心，但是笑的話就會有人開心。我希望我是一盞明燈，能照亮大家的天空，帶給大家一點點的光芒。」
那是兒時的夢想，但Ella仍沒有遺忘。

「那妳的天空呢？」
凱賢靜靜地問。

「我的天空現在有點灰，不過再不久應該會慢慢亮起來的，因爲我不會讓自己一直灰暗下去的。明燈如果灰暗了，就不可能能照亮大家的天空。你放心啦~ 我很好。」
Ella淺淺一笑地答應說。

「我陪妳。。。在妳那有點灰的天空裏，我願化成一個渺小的星星發揮小小光芒守護著。」
凱賢很認真地請求說。

「陰天不可能看不到星星的。」
Ella殘酷地否定了他的誓言。

「看不到不代表不存在。」
凱賢堅決地說。

「我們去看訂婚儀式吧？」
Ella裝作沒聽到地換了個主題。

或許很殘酷，也許很無情，但是現在的她已經對於海誓山盟不再有信心了。

可惜殘忍時間總要把諾言一點點摧毀

方展燿在交換完戒指之後，有一顆很沉重的心。眼前的女生竟然是一個和他見過兩次面的人，卻能輕而易舉成爲他永恒的伴侶。

如果有選擇的話，他寧可不做什麽富家大少爺。

「展燿，如果你不和張小姐訂婚的話，我想後果你應該知道的。」
展燿回憶起爺爺說過的話，心裏不禁發麻。

爺爺做生意的手段他清楚得很，心狠手辣不惜一切代價達到目的。爺爺從來也不考慮過程，只在乎一切的後果。

很遺憾的身為方家的唯一繼承人的他，在爺爺的手下僅僅只是一個棋子。

Ella會恨他嗎？他寧可她真的恨他，也不希望讓爺爺知道她的存在。

不，Ella是個很單純的女生，她不應該也不可以被捲入這種糾紛中。這些有錢人的明爭暗鬥不適合她，也只會傷害她。所以他才那麽刻意冷漠她，想盡辦法去離開她，讓她生氣。可是爲什麽她要那麽的善解人意，又爲什麽自己看到她眼中閃過的難過時，感覺一顆心被人狠狠捏碎了。
這是一種罪惡感吧？

因爲他把Ella無條件交出來的心，狠狠地踏在腳底，故意去磨滅她的天真。

「對不起Ella，對不起。。。Ella? 不可能~」
展燿無意間望向一個身穿淺綠色禮服的女生，很悲傷地想向遙遠的Ella傳達他的歉意，但他卻吃了一驚。

那位穿淺綠色禮服的女生就是他朝思暮想依舊的女生了，可是她的身邊已經多了一個人，那個人正是他的好朋友，鄭凱賢。

「他們的進展真快。。。」
展燿假裝露出得意的笑意，把目光掃向了他們。

「恭喜你們~」
Ella走向前來恭賀他，但他卻一點開心的感覺也沒有。

「謝謝妳的祝福，我沒想到妳會來。讓我給妳介紹，這位是我的未婚妻，張立亭。立亭，這位Ella，我的同學。」
他多希望現在站在他身邊，挽住他手的女生就是Ella，可是他卻無法表達這個意願。他只能一再地用言語來刺激她，就希望她能對他完全死心。

「妳好~妳的禮服很好看，一定引起不少媒體的注意了吧？」
張立亭冷冷地盡說客道話，顯然的不是很喜歡有別的女生打扮得比她好看。

「你爲了這種人而放棄？你比我想象中還白癡~」
凱賢走了過來，聽到了立亭的冷言冷語，不禁瞪了她一眼對展燿說。

「你這是什麽意思？沒教養的野孩子~」
立亭氣呼呼地罵說。

「沒什麽意思啦~ 他這個人比較愛閙，説話比較刻薄一點。請不要介意~」
Ella見兩個男生互瞪不停，馬上幫忙打圓場說。

「哼~ 誰沒教養，誰大方。說一句話就知道，有眼睛的人一看就看出來了，可惜有些人卻瞎了眼。」
凱賢冷冷嘲笑說，顯然的在暗示說立亭不及Ella。

「你跟我出來~」
Ella見氣氛越來越不對勁，急忙拉了凱賢說。

「我還沒送賀禮阿~」
凱賢很溫柔地對Ella說，説話的口吻跟剛才的冷嘲熱諷差隔十萬八千里。

「什麽賀禮？我記得我沒時間買東西，你又不是小叮噹，說變就變~」
聼凱賢那麽一說，Ella還真的搞不清楚他腦袋裏在想什麽，露出可愛的模糊表情，讓凱賢和展燿都忍不住微微一笑。不管情緒再怎麽緊張，Ella總會有意無意地幫忙化解緊張。

「這個是一個秘密哦~ 妳先到外面等我。我保證明天給妳一個大禮物。」
凱賢神秘兮兮地對著堵地嘴的Ella笑説。

「還要等到明天才知道~」
Ella不滿意地念說，但還是很聽話地離開了。

「她離開了，你可以放馬過來了。」
展燿不愧是凱賢的死黨，一早就知道凱賢在心裏盤算些什麽。

「很好，這是幫Selina和Hebe打的。接著，就是因爲你傷害了她。」
凱賢恨恨地對自己的死黨說。

話才剛說完，凱賢就以閃電般的速度重重地揍了展燿一拳。他下手時不做任何保留，使勁地打在展燿的鼻梁上。

「阿~」
在場的立亭不禁傻眼，叫不出聲音，但那一聲拳頭擊向鼻梁的聲音早引起各大媒体的注意了。

「他怎麽打人啊~」
記者們紛紛拿起筆和麥克風爭先恐後地湧向前。

「要拍嗎？準備好了哦~」
凱賢很得意地問媒體，隨手一揮，又一拳狠狠地打向了展燿的肚子。這一拳打得克不輕，凱賢把所有的力氣都獻了出去，一拳就足于讓展燿握著肚子倒地。

兩個拳頭，換來的是展燿血淋淋的鼻子和一大片烏青。

「你還記得我們一開始的約定嗎？」
凱賢低下頭看著狼狽的展燿問。

「不要~ 傷害她。。不然~連朋友~也沒得。。作。」
展燿小心翼翼地爬起來，但仍氣喘不已地勉強說。

「很好。所以你給我聼清楚了方展燿，我和你已經不是朋友了！」
凱賢難過又憤怒地提出三年友誼的結束。

「答應我。。。看好她。。」
展燿點頭答應，但還是難壓抑對Ella的關心。

「放心，至少我不會傷害她！」
凱賢冷冷地推了展燿一把，大大方方地在媒體目光下走了出去，只留下好奇的記者不斷地詢問那個「她」到底是誰。

方展燿不理會媒體的追問，只是默默地看著前好友的背影，難過地嘆氣。

他們那些平凡人是不會明白一個棋子的痛苦的。

想念變成懷念心動變成心碎
偏偏還會關切你最後屬於誰

等Ella看到媒體的大事報道后，她大發脾氣地不跟凱賢説話。

「他沒理由去打人啊~」
Ella很堅決認爲，但Selina和Hebe卻不認爲。

「如果我們在場的話，何止兩拳~」
Hebe很挺凱賢地說。

「算了吧？妳這裡說得好聽，到場就會變成超級卒仔~」
Ella白了她一眼，忍不住說。

他們都不明白吧？甚至應該說他們太袒護她了。

經過這一次的經歷，大家似乎都把她當作了一個易碎的玻璃百般呵護，讓Ella覺得好莫名其妙。她並不是覺得自己的朋友很煩，相反的她真的很開心能有那麽關心她的朋友在身邊，那麽的在乎她。

可是她還是無法痊愈。雖然她相信Selina說的「戀愛傷心和失戀是一種過程，很快就會好的」，但是在她的心裏，她知道她並不像大家所以為的那麽勇敢。

她的心還是很傷，那一道裂痕並不會因爲大家的小心呵護就會消失的。而她也不能能繼續假裝無所謂。因爲那痛意怎麽能夠因爲她答應了他們要遺忘他，就可以遺忘呢？説是簡單，可以說忘了就忘了，但看到他喜歡的東西時，還是會不由自主地想起他，然后感覺很落寞，常常會触景傷情。遺憾的是他們已不可能回到從前。

「陳嘉樺妳又出魂了啊？」
Selina瞪大雙眼看著，裝作她很生氣的樣子，但Ella從她的眼神中卻看到憂慮。

「我想去買水~」
Ella不忍心在繼續看到大家眼中的擔憂，隨口編了個謊言。

「我跟妳一起去~」
Hebe馬上接話説，這幾乎就是她們這幾天的任務；「不要讓Ella一個人落單~」

這份貼心真的很讓Ella感動。

她知道大家都很想保護她，但是他們越是保護她，她就會越無助。她真的不希望繼續在大家面前假裝很開心，因爲這樣子她胸口的痛就會越難受。她也不想看到Selina和Hebe為她擔心，因爲她知道她們一定會很自責。

「我要一個人出去！」
Ella很認真地重申。

「可是。。」
Selina和Hebe兩個人連忙想要勸Ella打消念頭時，一看到Ella憂鬱的雙眼都住了嘴。

「謝謝妳們。」
Ella見Selina和Hebe沒有繼續説下去時，就知道她已經獲得她們的諒解。

就在這一刻，她對自己許下了承諾。

「我要誠實對待自己和那顆心。請妳們讓我去做我應該做的事吧！」
Ella很認真地對Selina和Hebe說。

「嗯，妳要小心了~」
Hebe二話不説，馬上點頭答應，因爲她知道Ella已經長大了。

或許讓Ella因爲這次的挫敗而必須一夜長大是很殘酷的教訓，但是她相信Ella會好好地為自己打算的。

「手機聯絡~ 不可以不接哦~」
Selina也給與她的祝福。

我的天空今天有點灰我的心是個落葉的季節
我不知道如何度過今夜所有的燈早已經全都熄滅

「少爺，有你的傳真~」
林伯拿了一張傳真給了在游泳池旁發呆的方展燿。

「謝謝林伯~」展燿隨手接過傳真，看了内容后馬上站了起來，「林伯，你還記得陳小姐嗎？能不能請你幫我把她接過來？」

「那位很可愛的小姐？當然記得~ 我現在就去火車站等她。」
平日嚴肅的林伯一聽到Ella要來時，臉上不禁露出一絲笑意。

「嗯，謝謝你林伯!」
展燿點了點頭笑說，果然陳艾拉的魔力讓人難以忘懷，就像他一樣一直記得她的微笑。

「展燿：
你好，我不知道這樣子你會收到嗎？不過我有一些事情希望做個了結，希望你能抽空見我。我現在就要往高雄出發了，希望能看到你。

Ella」

那一張用著Ella小孩子氣的筆跡寫出的幾行字的傳真成了展燿最新的紀念品了。他看了看傳真，嘴角不禁往上揚了。

我的天空今天有點灰我的心是個落葉的季節
我不知道如何度過今夜所有的燈早已經全都熄滅

「Ella，妳不應該來的。」
展燿見到Ella的第一句話不是抱歉，而是心疼。

很奇妙的是，那一句簡單的話，卻讓Ella領悟了很多。

「我知道，但是我覺得我應該來。我要你答應我你會開心的。不要因爲自己的身份而忘了你的心。你知道我在說什麽的。。。」
Ella笑著說，但卻有點哽咽了。

「妳知道了？」
展燿很錯愕地望著Ella。

「我不需要知道什麽，但我想也知道你的心一定很難受。」
Ella直視著展燿，很溫和地說。

「爲什麽？」
展燿心酸地低頭看Ella，他難過的是到最後她還是沒有恨他，反而是最體諒他的人。上天真的太愛作弄人了，竟然安排了一個被他深深傷害過，甚至抛棄的女生來體諒和原諒他。

「因爲你的眼睛出賣了你。你看起來一點也不開心，雖然很冷傲地站著宣佈訂婚，可是眼睛卻像個寒冬裏的狼。」
Ella語氣沉重，遙望飯店外窗，很懂事地說。

「爲什麽是寒冬裏的狼？」
展燿好奇地問，他也感覺到了現在和他説話的Ella已經不像以往了。

「狼本來就是孤獨的，只是在冬天的狼會更憂鬱孤獨。」
Ella靜靜地說。

「妳對動物的了解，我以前怎麽沒發現呢？」

「哼，你不懂的可多了。其實我的智商很高好不好，不要一再把我當作小孩子來矇騙好嗎？」
Ella笑著說，還作了一個小鬼臉。

「我不是故意的。」
展燿看到Ella刻意搞笑把心裏的話說得好無所謂，心中有百般不捨。

「不要那麽看我，我會好一點的，只要給我時間就好!」
Ella早看出他的不捨，鼓勵說。

「妳知道嗎？現在再看到妳，我的信心又動搖了。我以爲我可以輕易放棄一切，可是我卻忘不了妳。」
展燿擡頭望向大會的媒體們靜靜地說。

「也許這就證明了我們真的有互相愛過，所以我們才會難過。」
Ella很認真地說，少了嬉皮笑臉的她多了一份成熟感。

「嗯，這就是所謂的愛過痛過成長吧？」
展燿也點頭贊同。

「我們不要說分手好不好？因爲我不想知道分手時的痛是怎樣的。失戀的感覺已經很痛苦了。」
Ella終于忍不住淚抱著展燿哭了。

「傻瓜~ 不分手的話，妳又怎麽會失戀呢？」
展燿一手抱住了Ella的頭，讓她最後一次在他的胸口上哭泣。

「我知道我失戀了。因爲失戀時，世界就會像是被漂白了，什麽顔色也沒有，只剩下灰色。而原本喜歡的事物都會因爲這個感覺而少了意義，就像生病時吃東西都沒有味道。」
Ella捂住自己的嘴不想讓展燿聽到她哭泣的聲音，靜靜地說。

「爲什麽我們會變成這樣子呢？妳不應該學會失戀的感覺才對~」
看著淚流滿面的Ella，展燿的心就想是被人撕裂一樣。

「我們說一聲再見好嗎？就像好朋友離開時那樣子好嗎？」
Ella用她哭紅的雙眼默默哀求地問。

「再見~」
展燿紅了眼眶，低沉地說著。

從來也沒有一句簡單的「再見」聼起來那麽的沉重。雖然他們都絕口不提，但他們的心裏都非常清楚這句「再見」扮演的角色。它負責將一對依依不捨的情侶分隔，為一段不被眷顧的愛情劃上最後的句點。

就算不捨得，就算再難過，他們都已經為自己做出了選擇。也許童話般的幸福愛情真得不可能擁有，但是至少在他們的記憶中，曾有一段童話般開始的愛情。

一段愛情的結束不一定是獲得幸福，
初戀會讓人覺得甜蜜苦澀就是因爲學習過相愛和放手。

我的天空今天有點灰我的心是個落葉的季節
我不知道如何度過今夜所有的燈早已經全都熄滅

全集完畢~~

原創故事：灰天 Part 1

2006-01-07T15:39:00.000+08:00

如果你不再出現我的世界還有什麼可貴
可惜不夠時間讓我們試驗什麼叫永遠

她一個人獨自坐在兩人的秘密場所，等待著他的出現。這裡什麽人都沒有，只有冰冷刺骨的寒風陪伴著她。

這一刻的天空不藍也不暗，只是灰灰的在醖釀心情，仿佛在為暴風雨預謀。

她打開了手上的瓶子，倒出一顆顆鮮紅種子，讓灰色的石灰地頓時被一陣陣紅雪掩蓋。

她靜靜地低頭望著腳下那些豆大般的斑斑血花，目光追隨著它們，任由寒風野蠻的驅趕。不到一分鐘的時間，那一顆顆種子就被寒風趕堆成一片，從遠方看來像極了一盆鮮血。

相思豆。
那一顆顆的種子就是所謂的相思豆了。

落在地上的一顆顆相思豆喚起了每一個愛情記憶，耀眼得諷刺著她。

她用著低沉的聲音輕聲問「爲什麽你離開了？」，淚水也隨著顫抖的聲音滑下了慘白的雙頰，不過再多的淚水也洗不掉他已離去的事實。

人家說一千九百九十九顆相思豆代表的是愛要久久久，可惜時間並沒有向她證明了這個傳説。現在握在手中那裝滿相思豆的瓶子，感覺就像是在勉強守護著那已過期的愛情，在美麗的外也沒有用，因爲一切已經沒有了意義，成了到不了的目的地。

「爲什麽你離開了？」
她還是忍不住問著不在場的他。

堅強的她已經輸給了愛情，徹底地敗給了命運。

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

「妳好啊，學妹!」
一把很陽光活力的聲音在她一踏入籃球場的瞬間，叫住了她。

突然被一個陌生人那麽友善的迎接，她只能挑起眉默默疑問這個奇怪的現象。不過看著那位自稱是她的學長的男生隨時間一分一秒划過，不禁紅了耳朵卻始終接不下話來，她有那麽一點點的同情起那位學長。

「你好啊~ 來練球的？」
她上瞧下看的，滿臉疑問地看著問。

穿襯衫和牛仔褲來籃球場？
很顯然的，這位學長絕對不是什麽籃球高手。

「呃。。。對阿~」
學長漲紅了臉傻傻地點頭說，一臉不知所云的模樣讓她笑了出來。

「是哦? 那你還蠻另類的哦~ 我還是第一次看到有人穿這樣。」
她刻意裝作很好奇的樣子，笑笑地閙那位羞澀的學長說。

「呃。。其實我不會打球。。。」
被識破了喬裝后的學長低頭含糊地解釋，不過她還是聽到了。

「安啦~ 我可以教你。其實想學籃球一點不難，只要常常練習，偶爾跟人家鬥牛一下下就好。。。對阿! 你叫什麽名啊？我縂不能學長學長地叫吧？如果在學校遇見的話，只要一句『學長早』，馬上有三百個人回頭，叫完后還搞不清楚是在叫誰!」
那位女生很阿沙力地拍了拍男生的肩旁，很親切地安慰說，但轉眼間又很調皮地問，跳tone心情速度之快令那男生咂舌。

「我是方展燿，三年級化學系的。」
那位學長，方展燿看到女生活潑逗趣的表情，笑著自我介紹。

說實在的，要一個男生冒冒然跑去認識一個陌生女生真的很難開口，尤其是在面對著自己喜歡的對象，更是一個不可能的任務。不過方展燿是幸運的，因爲他的對象是她。

在學校裏不管是男生女生、學長學姐、還是同輩同學，大家都知道一件事情。那就是一旦你想認識的對象是『她』時，感覺就沒有那麽困難了!因爲她就是天生就有化解尷尬陌生的特殊魔法。

「哇~ 化學系的! 跟我的科系離很遠哦!幾乎是天地之別耶!你們都在做什麽啊？每天都在研究醫藥嗎? 我可能要跟你多多學習哦!因爲我念行政的，是醫院方面的，所以還是會接觸到一些醫藥名詞的。我跟你說哦，那些名字都超難背的，都是一些字典找不到的英文單字，害我差點就想撞墻死了算!」
她瞪大眼睛表情滑稽地開始天南地北聊一回，讓展燿只能對這位女生聲聲稱奇。

那個女生從來也沒來得及對他說出她的名字，但是方展燿卻早就認得她。
不，應該那麽說；關於她的一切，展燿可是清楚得很。

這位小學妹的來頭一點也不簡單。

陳嘉樺，二年級醫藥行政系、女子籃球隊的超級主力，大家公認的未來學生會會長。

單看以上的榮銜就應該已經能猜測到被大家親切稱爲Ella的女生鐵定是學校裏的風雲人物之一，不過很讓人意外的是，雙性緣極佳的她卻從來也沒有談過戀愛。

一直到今年他們相遇的這一個夏天爲止，她才開始這生命中的一個奇遇。。。

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

交個新朋友需要多少時間呢？對一般人來說或許需要最少好幾分鐘，可是對於Ella這個標準『外交官』來説，三秒鐘就足夠了。一切聼起來很不可思議，但認識她的朋友卻從不懷疑這個可能性，因爲陳艾拉就是有著一種魔法，讓人忍不住想要接近她。

和Ella一起住的室友兼好友之一的田馥甄就曾很匪夷所思地瞪著這位奇人，喃喃自語地說「她連不認識的德士大哥也能聊上天?」，不過她也不得不承認，如果身邊少了陳嘉樺這個人的存在，她，田喜碧的世界就會少了一道照亮道路的明燈。

田喜碧雖然年紀比陳艾拉小，但是卻往往像個小大人似地念著這個長不大的孩子。她從來也沒有對Ella說過，但在她的心中一直有一種很不安的預感，這個預感自從Ella認識他之後，是越來越強烈。

她在為Ella害怕。。。

很多人並不曉得，外表看起來冰雪聰明成熟穩重課業也很好的Ella，其實有一個很大的缺點。他們看不到的，喜碧卻很清楚，並且一直在拼命保護著。

「Ella太輕易相信人了。小傻瓜一個~」
任家萱，二年級公民系系花，是有腦的美人兒一枚，同時也是Hebe和Ella的超級室友兼好友，也很不客氣地點出了Hebe所擔憂的一點。

天蠍座的Selina除了外表出衆，她察覺人心和耍小技巧的能力並不在Hebe之下。有人說Selina對人都抱有一種天蠍座對人的戒心。從不讓任何人接近她，就算表面上跟大家很close，但能真正了解她心裏在想什麽的人卻沒有一個。

可是一遇上Ella這個人后，她終于找到一個屬於自己的避風港。在長期處於假惺惺的社交生活，Ella的真誠和大刺刺個性打破了她的圍牆，讓她真正見識到什麽才是所謂的好朋友。

雖然是很好朋友，但Ella卻有一些讓Selina哭笑不得的直爽和中型感。她還記得第一次教Ella做facial時，那一句「我才不想抹泥巴，髒髒兮兮的，很噁心耶~」少點沒讓她當場暈倒。什麽叫作抹泥巴？那個是價值好幾千的名貴海底淨化面膜啊？難得她慷慨獻出給兩位好姐妹享福，卻被Ella說成這個樣子，讓在一旁的Hebe小姐可是誇張得直接笑到倒地。

或許是聼多了Ella個人哲學碎碎念吧？Selina忽然發現這位好姐妹單純得像個小孩，完全不懂得怎麽拒絕人，更不了解這世界上的不完美，只會一再再地任由別人來傷害她。

她們是三個女生，三種不同的個性，骨子裏卻是一樣善良的女生。

她們的友誼讓許多人震驚，因爲感覺上就是屬於不同世界的人。一個亮麗獨立、一個甜美聰明，再加上一個天真直爽，感覺上格格不入卻又能給人一種很完整的感覺。

表面上看起來年紀最大的Ella會是大家的大姐姐，負責照料大家的起居飲食。但是她們之間的互動卻不是外人能一目了然的。成熟穩重人緣極佳的Ella是大家的生命扶助，因爲只有她才能讓她們兩人的世界變得更多姿多彩，開始認識形形色色的不同人和大家打成一片。擁有貴族氣質的Selina則是負責打理三位的外表，更會帶她們到處遊玩，誰叫她是正港臺北人啊？當然是要擔任起「臺北旅遊大使」的重要職位，負責帶領兩個外來的住客啊! 最小的Hebe雖然不多話，但是卻是這團裏的「道理王」，會隨口教訓起兩位，念很多「田式道理」很一針見血地點醒兩人。

「妳覺得他怎樣?」
Hebe點頭往窗外的兩個小人影問。

「不怎樣。有點假~ 對她太好了，好到有點虛僞。」
Selina打量了窗外的其中一個人影幾秒鐘后才說。

「是哦，妳也覺得啊。那就不是我一個人的疑心了。」
Hebe嘆氣自言説。

「先看著吧？我們的第一印象也不是很准。」
Selina笑說，很明顯地在暗示著她們初次見面的感覺。

「什麽嘛~ 妳現在還不是一樣，嬌嬌女一個，只是現在比較三八。」
Hebe嘟起了嘴強辯說。

「妳也不是冷冰冰的，不知道在神氣什麽。還好現在嘴比較濺些!」
Selina假裝賭氣地笑罵。

她們不得不承認Ella在看人方面比她們好多了，因爲只有她才會不去理會虛僞的外表假裝，真正去想認識那個人。她們只能希望這次也一樣，只望Ella能從他的身上看到她們看不到的優點。

「妳猜她知道了嗎？」
Hebe好奇地望向窗外的Ella問。

「知道什麽？有人想追她？還是太陽是從東邊升起？」
Selina調皮地張大眼睛，一臉天真無邪地問。

「有道理。。。以她遲鈍的程度來説，應該又像以前一樣什麽都不知道。」
Hebe和Selina默契不需任何言語的，一個眼神交流就夠了。

「哈哈~感覺上我們好像把她當作白癡了。」
Selina聽到Hebe無情的註解，忍不住大笑了起來。

「沒辦法啊~ 男女之別嘛!」
Hebe吐了吐舌頭笑說。

「厚~給她聽到妳就完了!」
Selina強忍笑意，假裝教訓Hebe說。

「吡~ 妳才不會說的~ 老婆~~」
田喜碧最著名「曖昧可憐樣子」再次發威，讓Selina直呼「受不了~」

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「以她遲鈍的程度來説」Hebe是那麽說的吧？

就像Hebe預測的一樣，傻傻的陳艾拉的確沒有猜到這一切的發展正一步步走向愛情之路。對於從小就和男生混在一起長大的她來説，跟男生打打球吃吃飯看看電影，一切單純得可以。因爲在她的理解中，她從來也不覺得自己是個漂亮的女生，更不像Hebe的亮眼和Selina的艷麗。

對Ella來説，她自覺自己不像女生，但是骨子裡還是個普通的女生，她很自己。但或許就是自己低估了自己的個人魅力，她從來也沒有想過自己會成爲男生們追求的對象，而這也是Selina和Hebe常常會看著迷糊的她偷偷暗笑的主要理由了。

不認爲會有人喜歡，並不代表她不渴望被愛。

Ella也不能說是什麽時候開始有這奇妙的感覺，不過從一開始的練球后一起吃飯和逛街的漫漫演變，他們在一起的次數越來越多，在電話聊天問候幾乎是每一天的必須。

她很喜歡這種被人呵護的感覺。除了Selina和Hebe以外，幾乎沒幾個人會特別去花心思了解她，更不會去記她說過的話。

「我想看星空~日落和日出!」
Ella曾隨口說過，但他卻牢牢記在心頭，一聲不響地為她安排了一切的行程。

爲什麽他會爲了她的一句傻話那麽努力呢？

在Ella完全沒有察覺之下，展燿竟背著她請了Selina和Hebe幫忙收拾衣物，更把這個秘密計劃告訴了她們。雖然被Selina和Hebe兩人合手狠狠地教訓了一頓，說了什麽「不要教壞我們的孩子哦~ 如果她受傷的話，你就算死一千万遍也沒有用的~」、「你給我小心啊~ 不要笨笨的上當被人騙哦~ 要記得不要亂來哦! 」等的話，讓Ella後來聼得滿頭黑綫，質問「她們是把我當小孩了，還是笨蛋啊? 」，但展燿仍然很堅決要為Ella完成那個夢想。

Ella很愛哭，這點也只有Selina和Hebe知道，但在知道展燿為她精心安排了那麽多事情，她忍不住在展燿的面前哭了。他沒有尷尬的神情，反倒很自然地將她投入懷抱，輕聲安慰著。

「不哭不哭~ 不然我會難過的。我做那麽多就是要妳開心而已~」
展燿拍了拍她的頭，很溫柔地笑著說。

那是Ella第一次從他的眼中看到一種期待。
那時的她還不能理解這一切，但漸漸的，她開始很重視他。

她喜歡他在睡覺前的一句晚安，送她回家時一定要等到她回到家裏開起房燈，傳來簡訊慰問之後才會很放心的離去。在看電影的時候，他總會先主動預購門票，多帶一件外套給她。

這每一點一滴的貼心全都深深地烙印在Ella的心中，也會讓她不知覺地微笑了。

這種甜蜜就是喜歡一個人的感覺嗎？

「他應該只是把我當作朋友吧？」
Ella常常在夜深人靜時，仔細分析后對自己說。

雖然那麽決定，但在心裏她也不禁想否定這個結論。

朋友會無時無刻傳簡訊慰問嗎？
朋友會固定每晚午夜跟她說晚安和早安嗎？
朋友會記得她喜歡是什麽嗎？還可以代她點菜？
朋友會知道她喜歡聼什麽音樂看什麽書穿幾號球鞋？
朋友又怎能在她沒說的時候知道她喜歡什麽顔色呢？

方展燿對她的了解，讓她覺得很不可思議。
他們才認識不到一個月，怎麽卻像是一輩子了？

只要一個眼神，他就能猜到她的心情，更懂得如何去開解她。

這種理解，似乎已經超越了友情的定義了。

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

「515、516、517、518…519….520… 不。。不可能~ 一定是數錯了!」
獨自躲在自己房間數相思豆的Ella，隨著自己就快要數完時，她的心卻是越來越驚訝。

他竟然送了520顆相思豆給她？
他知不知道這個含義呢？

不。。。他知道。。。他早就知道了。。。

Ella一個人呆呆地望著瓶子裏的相思豆，一心回想起今天才剛發生的事。。。

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「這裡是哪裏？」
Ella好奇地問。

「就把它當作是天堂吧？」
展燿還是用著溫和的語氣說著。

「嗯~綠油油的草地中一顆大樹和蔚藍天空。真的跟天堂有幾分相似。這就是人間天堂吧？」
Ella很樂觀地觀察了四周，笑嘻嘻地說。

「妳知道這個是什麽嗎？」
展燿的手心上正放著如紅豆般大小的相思豆，拍了拍Ella的肩問道。

「啊~相思豆耶! 現在都很難找到了! 我之前有去找，不過都找不到幾個。」
Ella張大眼睛有點被嚇倒地說。

「妳知道相思豆的密語？」
展燿眼中閃耀著光芒笑著，讓Ella覺得他好像又要做什麽了。

「懂啊~不過，不同的數量的相思豆代表著不同意義。像五十一顆就是『你是我的唯一』，九十九顆則是代表了『白頭到老，長長九九』。」
Ella摸不着頭腦老老實實地回答說。

「很好~ 這個就是我要送妳的第一份禮物。」
說著，展燿就從自己的包包裏拿出了一個包裝得很精致的心型透明玻璃瓶。那個玻璃瓶裏裝的可是滿滿的相思豆。

「我。。我怎麽知道有多少啊?」
那瓶子看來一點也不小，就有如她手心大小，讓Ella看了一眼就馬上抗議。

「等妳知道這個禮物的故事再跟我說吧! 」
不過展燿卻搖頭表示不想聼，還很神秘地說。

「爲什麽每次都有感覺我被人耍了？」
Ella望著那罐相思豆，愁眉地問自己。

相思豆是示愛告白的物品，這傢伙究竟在搞什麽花樣啊？

「妳知道五百二十顆的含義嗎？」
展燿突然冒出一句話，嚇得Ella直後退。

「啊？知道啊~ 這個可經典了! 520的同音，就是『我愛你』啊~」
Ella好奇地望著展燿，心裏在猜他到底在玩什麽花樣呢？

「嗯，妳知道就好! 」
展燿沒有再解釋，只是很得意地笑了。

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

「嗶嗶~」在午夜十二點正，那準時的簡訊傳到了她的手機。

Ella小心翼翼地收起了那罐相思豆，然後再走到床上拿起手機開起了簡訊。她很緊張就擔心展燿又打算開她玩笑了。可是這一封簡訊只寫幾個字。

「520 = 我愛你」

看到手機屏幕清清楚楚地寫出了這幾個字后，Ella再也無法抵賴了。

「他真的喜歡我。。。」
Ella喃喃自語地說著，而感動的淚水這時再也壓抑不住了，就如潮水般一湧而出。

一直不敢去承認的事實一旦被擺在眼前的百感交集，只有她自己懂得。

想念變成懷念心動變成心碎
偏偏還會關切你最後屬於誰

她一邊追悔愛情的記憶，一邊哭笑。那些曾經開心過的日子仿佛變的好遙遠，感覺從來也沒有發生過一樣。可是殘酷的實事卻依舊停留在她的手中。

他們愛過的證據，在地上的相思豆依舊那麽紅艷美麗，就像她的記憶一樣的完美無瑕。

但如果他們之間真的是幸福的，爲什麽他又要那麽殘酷去破壞這一份美麗呢？爲什麽要一聲不啃的離開，連給她說一句「再見」的機會也沒有？

就這個樣子，搬了家，轉學，甚至連電話也換了。

只留下一封手機簡訊寫著：

「秋天悄悄離去冬天將來臨，候鳥在冬季來臨就會南飛。
不奢望原諒我的不告而別，只要妳從此更幸福更快樂。」

他好諷刺哦，用簡訊開始了他們的愛情，又用簡訊為他們劃上了句點。

隨著天空越來越暗，醖釀許久的雨水這一刻狠狠地落下了。。。

她傻傻地站在學校的天台問自己「我做錯了什麽」，完全不去理會狠狠打在身上的豪雨，只是希望能思考是一個理由。一個人在天臺上看著天空從灰轉黑，她的心也暗了。難道就連最後一面他也不肯見她嗎？

說什麽「秋天悄悄離去冬天將來臨」啊？

秋天並沒有離去，只是住進了她的心裏。

是他把秋天反鎖在她的心中，讓她對愛情的憧憬漸漸枯萎凋謝。
所以秋天並沒有離開，只是躲到了她心裡長眠。

我的天空今天有點灰我的心是個落葉的季節

等到終于有一個人找到她的時候，竟然不是她想見到的人。

鄭凱賢在知道展燿的離去時，在第一時間沖出課室尋找他死黨的女友。他知道她在哪，因爲展燿告訴了他。

「她喜歡一個人躲起來，像個調皮的小貓咪整天跟你玩抓迷藏。不要看她很活潑好動，好像永遠都在人群之中，其實她是個很靜的女生，一不開心就會躲起來，什麽也不說。她最喜歡躲在我們學校的屋頂，因爲她說Hebe怕高一定不會想到要上來找她。至於Selina。。。因爲她的神經超大條從來也沒發現能上到屋頂。。。所以根本不會有人上來找她。。。」
展燿曾不經意地笑笑對死黨透露自己女朋友的秘密，言下之意就是在説學校的屋頂就是他和她的秘密。

「傻瓜~ 妳沒錯。。。」聼起來像是普通的安慰，但他知道對於她的關心絕非安慰那麽簡單。看到Ella身穿著的衣物全被豪雨無情的洗禮，很努力地想把自己變得渺小，縮成一個小球躲在天台的一角，他的心痛得很。爲什麽要把一個平日那麽開朗活潑的女生變成那麽無助呢？

「爲什麽？是我做錯了什麽？」
她哭得像個迷失的小孩，用著泛淚光的大眼睛很無辜地問，讓凱賢看得格外心痛，卻又不能為她做些什麽，只能一直抱住她讓她在懷裏痛哭一場。

只是她卻選在這個時候小聲地說了一句「不要叫我傻瓜，那是他的專利」，讓凱賢一陣内疚。他差點就忘了現在在自己的懷中的女生依然還是他死黨的女友。

他們從來也沒有分手，只是展燿自私選擇了秘密離別。

「妳沒有錯。。」
凱賢選擇裝作沒聽到Ella無意間說的話，從來也沒有對她作出朋友以外的動作，除了這個擁抱。

「你一定知道他爲什麽要離開!爲什麽不告訴我?」
Ella擡頭看著凱賢任性地問。

「我帶妳回去好嗎? 妳這樣子一定會生病的~」
凱賢不理會Ella的逼問，抱起了她。

「我不要! 你開手啦! 我要等他~ 我不要你來管我! 你快走開啦!」
Ella很強烈地反抗，不斷地捶打他的胸膛，但那陣陣痛意卻不及聽到Ella親口對他說出「你快走開啦」讓他心碎。

「難道妳忘了妳的朋友了嗎？」他狠狠地瞪了Ella一眼，「虧我還一直以爲妳很重視Selina和Hebe，但很顯然的妳根本不在乎她們在擔心妳。」

被凱賢那麽一說，Ella馬上停止了掙扎，一臉内疚地望向遠方，沉默不已。

他當然知道自己說得很過分，對於Ella而言，那兩個姐妹就像她的家人一樣重要，甚至可以說她們就是她在臺北的唯一家人了。但或許就是因爲生氣又或則太痛心了，他竟然會選擇用最殘酷的方式來喚醒Ella。

「她們知道嗎？」
Ella仍不願意看他，只是用著很冷靜地聲音問，跟先前那個歇斯底里的態度差隔十萬八千里，讓凱賢看得直愣。他終于見識到Ella雙子座的特性了，只需要一秒鐘就能轉換情緒。

「還不知道。」
凱賢愣愣地說，還是不敢相信現在眼前這個冷冰冰的人就是剛才在他懷中哭閙的同一個Ella。

「不要告訴她們~ 她們絕對不可以知道!」
Ella很堅決地命令說，回過頭很認真地看著凱賢的眼睛。

被Ella那認真的目光直瞪下，凱賢只能默默點頭答應了。可是他卻也因此再發現原來真的就像展燿常常說的，Ella就是一個「從來也不想讓大家擔心她的倔強小孩」。看到這樣子的Ella，他也不知道應該幫她隱瞞，還是幫她解開這個心結。

每個人都需要家人和朋友，尤其是在面臨精神打擊的這一刻。就算她現在能忍住了淚水，但到了晚上夜深人靜的時候呢？她能面對黑暗無情的嘲笑嗎？

「我要回家了~」
Ella二話不説地直接斷絕了她和他的視線，走出他的視線範圍。

到底是什麽動力在促使她繼續逞強呢？是對朋友的責任感，是自己的自尊，還是只因爲她「不想讓大家擔心」呢？

「笨蛋~ 妳這樣子什麽都不說，不哭也不閙，不肯給人機會去疼惜，這才會讓喜歡妳的每一個人爲你擔心啊!」
凱賢嘆氣地搖頭地說。

這不叫作勇敢。
繼續假堅強裝作若無其事，只是會傷害自己和身邊每一個愛護她的人。

我不知道如何度過今夜所有的燈早已經全都熄滅

「陳嘉樺妳死到哪去了？」
才一開門就收到了塞小姐的「親切問候」讓心情很糟糕的Ella也不禁淡淡笑了。

「媽啊~ 我們家幾時養了落湯鷄啊？」
Hebe看了Ella一眼，驚奇大叫，聽到呼叫聲的Selina也馬上跑過來看了Ella。

「妳腦袋秀逗了啊？知不知道這個世界上有一種東西叫做『雨傘』啊？明知道自己的身體差得可以稱爲『東亞病夫』二號，還跑去跟人家玩雨。」
Hebe迅速掃了Ella一眼，把手上的毛巾丟給了她。

「呵呵~」
被田喜碧的機關槍嘴掃射一番的Ella只是傻傻地笑，並沒有像平時一樣，會跟Hebe鬥嘴和回敬Selina的問候，很反常地一味笑著。

“有問題~這傢伙一定出事了! ”
Selina和Hebe一個眼神交接，傳達了訊息。

「對不起對不起~我等一下會來擦地板，等下我會做飯洗衣。。。」
Ella開始語無倫次了起來，根本沒發覺到Selina和Hebe正在用X光般的視線來掃描她。

“要問那小子嗎？Ella會這樣八成跟那小子有關!”
Selina恨恨地通過眼睛向Hebe傳情達意。

“如果給我知道他敢欺負她，他就死定~”
Hebe點頭隨和用眼神說。

“嗯就這樣說定~”
兩個人秘密計劃約定說。

「陳艾拉少廢話，快去沖涼~」
Hebe像極了Ella的媽媽，開始命令Ella。

「哦~」
Ella平日最聼Hebe的話，這次也並不例外，果然乖乖進房沖涼。

「現在馬上打給那個欠揍的方展燿，找不到的話就找他的跟班，鄭凱賢。」
Selina不多話，馬上計劃說。

「一人打一個，哪個先接電的就先問~」
Hebe也點頭說。

「『救艾行動』開始嘍~」
Selina得意地宣佈說。

「噁~什麽叫作『救艾行動』? 妳以爲我們在拯救流浪貓狗啊? 拜托~」
Hebe白了Selina眼，吐槽說。

「啊？我覺得Ella還蠻像貓的~眼睛大大的嘴角往上跟貓倒有幾分神似!」
Selina又開始神游亂想了。

「STOP! 拜托! 妳忘了妳眼前還有一個最討厭貓的我了嗎? 好好的一個人被妳說成這樣~」
Hebe馬上狠狠捏了在發夢的Selina一把，咬牙切齒地說。

「田馥甄，妳很暴力耶~ 個子小小卻那麽暴力。」
Selina扁嘴很不悅地碎碎念說，看著在一旁得意得不得了的Hebe。

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How Time Flies

2006-01-07T15:35:00.000+08:00

Woah Woah Woah, it's a brand new year and I haven't realised it yet.
It's truly one year that I have not seen anything new.
I mean when I was in school, at least you would have a new school year.

But now, I have no new school year to notice it...

It's all the same, with the busy work and little rest time...

Oh well, what a brand new year...

Music Featured: Reflection

2005-12-27T00:56:00.000+08:00

Reflection (Mulan Soundtrack)
Christina Aguilera

Look at me
You may think you see who I really am
But you'll never know me
Every day
It's as if I play a part
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
who I am inside?

I am now in a world where I have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know the reason why
Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel?
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide?

I won't pretend that I'm someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

Test: Rate My Life

2005-12-02T02:06:00.000+08:00

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	6.1
Mind:	7.7
Body:	7
Spirit:	6.8
Friends/Family:	1.7
Love:	0.8
Finance:	7.9
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Analysis of Your Life Score Results

Your Life Analysis:

Life: Your life rating is a score of the sum total of your life, and accounts for how satisfied, successful, balanced, capable, valuable, and happy you are. The quiz attempts to put a number on the summation of all of these things, based on your answers. Your life score leaves room for improvement. You can make changes to improve your trouble areas, and this will bring you greater satisfaction. Focus on your weakest points and set about to change them. Do not delay your happiness and success. (Read more on improving your life)

Mind: Your mind rating is a score of your mind's clarity, ability, and health. Higher scores indicate an advancement in knowledge, clear and capable thinking, high mental health, and pure thought free of interference. Your mind score is within a healthy zone. This means you have achieved a level of mental balance and harmony consistent with living a healthy, happy life. Continue doing what works, and keep your focus. In our fast-paced world, mental clutter is all too common. Be vigilant in maintaining healthy mental function. Read advice from other quiz-takers on improving the mind.

Body: Your body rating measures your body's health, fitness, and general wellness. A healthy body contributes to a happy life, however many of us are lacking in this area. You have a rather good body score, which is an indication that you take care of yourself. There is room for improvement, however. Please keep doing what works. Eat right, exercise, reduce your stress, treat any illness. Doing these things will help ensure your body will be in good working order for a long time to come. Read advice from other quiz-takers on improving the body.

Spirit: Your spirit rating seeks to capture in a number that elusive quality which is found in your faith, your attitude, and your philosophy on life. A higher score indicates a greater sense of inner peace and balance. Your spirit score is relatively high, which means you are rewarded by your beliefs. Spirituality is clearly important to do. Never let it slip, and continue to learn and grow. Read advice from other quiz-takers on improving the spirit.

Friends/Family: Your friends and family rating measures your relationships with those around you, and is based on how large, healthy, and dependable your social network is. You scored at the very low end for friends and family. This means that your social network is weak and not functioning. Consider re-establishing old bonds as you work on forging new ones. You will be greatly rewarded in return. Try using MeetUp.com to find people near you who share your interests.

Love: Your love rating is a measure of your current romantic situation. Sharing your heart with another person is one of life's most glorious, terrifying, rewarding experiences. Your love score is very low, indicating trouble. There is love out there for you. Seek the advice of wise people on how to go about finding it. Do not lose hope. Read advice from other quiz-takers on finding and maintaining love.

Finance: Your finance rating is a score that rates your current financial health and stability. You have a rather good financial score, which is not all that common these days. Keep doing what works. Avoid common pitfalls and save for the future. You will be glad you did. Read advice from other quiz-takers on improving your finances.

Test: Are You A Good Girl or A Bad Girl?

2005-12-01T01:40:00.000+08:00

You Are a Very Good Girl

You are 90% Good and 10% Bad
You're a perfect angel - almost impossibly so
Don't you ever feel like being a little bad?!?

Are You a Good Girl or a Bad Girl?

原創故事：不作你的朋友

2005-11-30T16:25:00.000+08:00

「嗶嗶」手機突然響起。
它熱切宣佈著他的出現，也給了她一絲的希望。
但這一綫希望卻在開起簡訊之後迅速蒸發不見。

「生日快樂！紫玲~」
一封簡單的祝福隱藏了冷冷的距離，讓她的淚水緩緩滑下臉頰。

還記得去年生日他給她溫暖擁抱。
事過境遷那份溫暖已經沒了溫度。

慢慢失憶　所有和你的事情必須忘記
愛的盆地　深怕在一滴眼淚就會決堤
我也不想　被你肯定　
在這個時候說我　讓你感動過

去年的七月二十三陰霾的擁抱溫暖了她，
今年的七月二十三晴朗的距離凍結了她。

她不知道自己哪來的勇氣竟會對他開口，
說出埋藏在心中的小心願竟讓世界混亂。

她討厭他的任性假裝，可是卻捨不得他的貼心溫柔。
她很想擁有美麗愛情，但是他卻偏偏眷戀單純友誼。

他說沒有人能比她了解他，他喜歡握住她的手看電影。
他說沒有人能取代她位置，他喜歡兩個人手牽手逛街。

一切甜蜜的讓人心醉，但卻僅只是很好朋友。

別握住我的手　說我一定會懂　
作不成的愛人　變成最好朋友

別牽著我的手　想著別人臉孔　
換個方式牽手　並不會更好過

可不可以　不作你朋友

爲什麽了解以後就非的作朋友？
難道真只有神秘才會有甜蜜嗎？

如果有的選擇她寧願不是朋友，
至少不用忍痛假裝接受他的話。

朋友和情人之間只差一個眼神，
信任支持和默契再加守護的心。

她的用心她的改變愛情的進化。
他無所謂他看不到友誼的僵局。

他們互相鼓勵也一起勉勵過。
一起尋找愛情一起找到愛情。

兩顆熱切的心卻沒一起靠岸。

慢慢心痛　沒有人發現我和從前不同
你的眼中　看得見另一個人給的感動
我也不要你心疼我　在這個時候對我　比從前溫柔

應該放晴的天氣　還下雨　別這樣下去　我難過　但是說不出口

Rap:
一直逃避　我以為閉上眼睛就能忘記
　我的記憶開始在雨天的七月二十三
　慢慢經過我們一起繞過的十字街頭
　怎麼走都走不到盡頭

今年生日她的願望只有一個。
去年生日犯下的錯趕快遺忘。

就讓她漸漸遺忘了那漫長雨天的甜蜜，
就讓時間齒輪快轉讓心動的旋律停止。

被他摧毀的愛情已經沒有結果
勉強守護的友誼已經開始破裂

他們只能留戀過去幻想不可能的未來
收拾起一切的回憶各奔東西不聞不問

達不到的愛情海邊回不了友誼的原點，
兩個只可以再一次成爲彼此的陌生人。

可不可以　別回頭　
可不可以　就放手　
可不可以　不作你的朋友

Okay, this is a songfic which is based on the song: 「不作你的朋友」by S.H.E, and I have chosen this to write coz I kinda like this feeling in the song. Anyway it's my first attempt on Songfic, hopefully some of you out there like it~ Wanted to do a English one but since this is a mandarin song, so I thought it would make more sense to write it in mandarin instead~ haha~ ^^

Test:What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

2005-11-30T16:23:00.000+08:00

Your Hair Should Be Orange

Expressive, deep, and one of a kind.
You pull off "weird" well - hardly anyone notices.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

Test: How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

2005-11-30T16:11:00.000+08:00

Wow!~ Perfect Match~ haha~

You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.
Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.
You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.
You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

Test: What Age Do You Act?

2005-11-30T16:06:00.000+08:00

You Are 26 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Dear god~ I'm that old?
But.... I just hit 20 this year....

故事：阿波羅月桂樹的故事

2005-11-28T19:28:00.000+08:00

阿波羅月桂樹的故事

　　有一次，阿波羅看到小愛神丘比特正拿著弓箭玩。他不客氣的警告丘比特說：「喂!弓箭是很危險的東西，小孩子不要隨便拿來玩。」原來小愛神丘比特有兩枝十分特別的箭。凡是被他用那枝用黃金作成的利箭射到的人，心中會立刻燃起戀愛的熱情。要是那枝鉛做的鈍箭射到的人，就會十分厭惡愛情。

　　丘比特被阿波羅這麼一說，心裡很不服氣。他趁著阿波羅不注意的時候，「颼」的一聲把愛情之箭射向阿波羅。阿波羅心中立刻對愛情有了強烈的渴望。正巧這時候，來了一個名叫達芙妮的美麗少女。調皮的丘比特把那枝鉛做的鈍箭射向達芙妮。被鈍箭射中的達芙妮，立刻變得十分厭惡愛情。

　　這時候，被愛情之箭射中的阿波羅已經深深的愛上了達芙妮，立刻對她表示愛慕。可是達芙妮卻很不高興的說：「走開!我討厭愛情!離我遠一點兒!」說著，就像羚羊似的往山谷裡飛奔而去。可是阿波羅對於追求達芙妮並不灰心，他拿著豎琴，彈出優美的曲子。不論誰聽到阿波羅的琴聲，都會情不自禁的走到他面前聆聽他的演奏。

　　躲在山裡的達芙妮聽到了這優美的琴聲，也不知不覺陶醉了。「哪來這麼動人的琴聲?我要看看是誰彈奏的。」說著說著，達芙妮早已經被琴聲迷住了，走向阿波羅這邊來。躲在一塊大石頭後面彈豎琴的阿波羅立刻跳出來，走上前要擁報達芙妮。

　　達芙妮看到阿波羅，拔腿就跑。阿羅在後面苦苦追趕，並且大聲叫喊：「我又不是妳的仇人，也不是兇猛的野獸，更不是無理取鬧的莽漢，妳為什麼要躲避我?」儘管阿波羅在後面不停的對達芙妮呼喊，達芙妮仍然當作沒聽到，繼續往前飛奔。

　　不過，達芙妮跑得再快，也跑不過阿波羅。跑了好一陣子，達芙妮已經跑得筋疲力盡，上氣不接下氣。最後她倒在地上，眼看阿波羅就要追上了，達芙妮急得大叫：「救命啊!救命啊!」

　　這時候，河神聽見了達芙妮的求救聲，立刻用神力把她變成一棵月桂樹。只見達芙妮的秀髮變成了樹葉，手腕變成了樹枝，兩條腿變成了樹幹，兩隻腳和腳指變成了樹根，深深的扎入土裡。

　　阿波羅看到了，懊悔萬分。他很傷心的抱著月桂樹哭泣，可是月桂樹卻不停的搖擺。雖然達芙妮已經變成了月桂樹，但是阿波羅依然愛著她。他很癡情的對月桂樹說：「妳雖然沒能成為我的妻子，但是我會永遠愛著妳。我要用妳的枝葉做我的桂冠，用妳的木材做我的豎琴，並用妳的花裝飾我的弓。同時，我要賜妳永遠年輕，不會老。」

　　變成月桂樹的達芙妮聽了，深深的受了感動，連連點頭，表示謝意。也許是受到了阿波羅的祝福，月桂樹終年常綠，是一種很受人們喜愛的植物。

Thoughts: Growing up...

2005-11-27T19:19:00.000+08:00

After a long wait of one month, I've finally got my hand on a hot copy of S.H.E's latest album, .

I know, the title sounds corny...

Yet, I really like the meaning of this album...

The chinese title of this album would be 「不想長大」, meaning wishing not to grow up. Now, don't it sounds familiar to you, or even remember you of someone?

I did thought of Peter Pan and his Neverland, when I heard of this line. But is this meaning just as childish as what Peter wanted it to be? Yes, I do think that Peter though brave is a rather childish and selfish git... but he changed in the end, didn't he?

Not wanting to grow up, that would be the kind of thoughts I'm having now...
Coz now I'm out of school, I'm feeling really lost...

I have no idea what am I gonna do, or worse... where do I stand...

It has always been much easier to be a kid... Yes, you get ignored and not taken seriously.. But then again you don't have to worry about what to do, and whether you would hurt anyone...

It was all about school, homeworks and results...

Yet now, suddenly out of school,
I have not a single idea what on earth am I doing...
I'm truly lost and afraid to speak out...

How is it that we never get to appreciate what we have before only till we lost them?
I hate school with a passion then and now I wish I could hide behind the homeworks..

Now listening to the new album, I had a strange laugh...
At myself maybe? Or just amused with the truth in the lyric?

Hmmm...

I wish if there is really a Peter Pan,
Please give me a tip on never growing up...

It seems being children is the only way to get out of the harshness in life...
You can go on pretending that there is nothing wrong in life and all the adults would think that it's alright to keep you away from these "bad things"...

音樂：星星之火 --S.H.E

2005-11-26T22:14:00.000+08:00

作曲：曹格作詞：陳信廷英語詞：Selina

女孩越過小路爬上了山丘
那時的她還不懂為什麼
螢火蟲都不動
停駐在夜空點亮了小小宇宙

女孩慢慢長大卻還是懵懂
那時的她還不懂為什麼
大人們能抽空為失戀喝杯酒卻沒空看看星空

“不要不要忘了做過的夢”
天上星星仿彿聽她述說興奮地閃爍

我要變成那一顆星星整夜都亮晶晶
不怕陰暗的黑影驕傲地閃不停
SHINING (SHINING) 亮麗到月兒都妒忌
燦爛的一顆星星一生也亮晶晶
因為夜歸的背影有了我的指引
SHINING (SHINING) 勇氣就在你手心

女孩不再單純卻不夠成熟
這時的她雖然懂為什麼
美麗總有哀愁
每當有淚兒流卻回到那個宇宙

女孩有天將會到哪裡出走
哪時的她總會問為什麼
一個夢那麼重
只希望放棄前能想起那片星空

不要不要忘了做過的夢
天上星星仿彿聽她述說興奮地閃爍

我要變成那一顆星星整夜都亮晶晶
不怕陰暗的黑影驕傲地閃不停
SHINING (SHINING) 亮麗到月兒都妒忌
燦爛的一顆星星一生也亮晶晶
因為夜歸的背影有了我的指引
SHINING (SHINING) 勇氣就在你手心

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are.
Believe, believe,believe,
You are the only star.

我要變成那一顆星星整夜都亮晶晶
不怕陰暗的黑影驕傲地閃不停
SHINING (SHINING) 亮麗到月兒都妒忌
燦爛的一顆星星一生也亮晶晶
因為夜歸的背影有了我的指引
SHINING (SHINING) 勇氣就在你手心

A long time ago,
a little girl wanted to find her future.
She went to the mountains and asked the sky,
"Where's my future?"
And just then,
A little star said:
"Sweetie, the future is in your hands!"

Yes, the future is in our hands!

Picture: A Treat For HHr fans

2005-11-24T22:40:00.000+08:00

How's this? I tried to keep it to GOF only...
I'm not a fan but I have to admit they look appealing to the eyes...
That's probably why I like them (as in Dan and Emma) together...

Movie Review: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

2005-11-22T16:19:00.000+08:00

Well well well... Look, I finally watched the movie! Good god!

But I didn't just watch the movie, I watched it twice...

Nope, I'm not crazy, just one was with a free pass and another just to watch with my friend. It is an enjoyable movie, so I don't mind watching it the second time. It was as good but with little disappointment.

The movie is good, the storyline is strong, the only fault I find with the movie would be its inability to stick to the book. Which I believe any JKR fans would be disappointed in that.

But the problem is not that big as in POA, as you can really see the hard work put into editing the film. They did try to make it JKRish with only a few tweaks here and there. And to those fans who says POA is more of a Starring Hermione Granger than Harry Potter, I believe you'll get your hero back in GOF. It was so Harry that I started to pity the other champs... Poor newies with little scenes.

One thing which I find fault with POA still continues in GOF, is the friendship of the Trio. Seriously, I love POA coz of the fight among friends and learning to get along but in the POA Movie, it turned out to be more of the "Kick Ass and Save the Day Again" thingy.

Then in GOF when I heard of scenes on Harry and Ron fighting, I thought I would finally have my wish, but no. It was just a few scenes giving more anger than sadness. And Hermione growing angry with them with the words: "It's your problem Ron, not mine!" and "I'm not an owl!" when caught between the fights~ The lack of show of support Hermione gave to Harry and how she stayed as a true friend burns my heart~ Hell it could teach us more with good display of friendships you know? Instead it showed her rolling eyes at Harry and Ron, muttering "BOYS! Honestly" Err.. where's the crying with happiness over the two boys getting together and hugging them? Sorry I missed that.

And what about the Hermione and Ron acts? They fought and left poor old Hermione in tears saying: you ruined everything.." But really... If I'm not a reader, how would I know how Krum and Granger gets together? Only till dear Harry explained: "I heard he goes down to the library often but not to read.." How charmingly short... I almost missed that explaination... Wicked!

Oh oh oh~ while I'm on the topic of poor Mione, can I ask more questions? How are Rita? Where's the famous fight Rita had with Mione? They crossed each other at least 5 times and each time a headline... and the revenge? I was looking forward to see it.. I thought that was important too, considering that was what Mione used in Book 5 to get poor Rita to listen to her and helped Harry in the end... But apparently not too important if they just give a photo shot scene and a news headline scene. (PS: gonna love their creativity with the photo shot thing haha~ It was funny and pure original! Especially with the photo turns out on the paper with poor Krum glaring at Rita~ What a nice creative touch!)

Alright Alright~ In all it was a good movie, really... Jus not put it onto the book and you will enjoy it. There are creative edits to the story and it was really well done. Considering the GOF is a bloody thick book, they really outdone themselves with the editing and linking the plot.

I just wish it was a longer film, coz 2 and a half hours is not enough.. They had to take away many parts and it was really a pity... Maybe for OTP going to shoot in Feb 06, they can consider making it a 3 hours movie? Just like LOTR... haha~

Test: Harry Potter Personality Quiz

2005-11-19T23:56:00.000+08:00

Harry Potter Personality Quiz by Pirate Monkeys Inc.

Merlin's Sake~ Hermione again? This is the third test I took and the results are all the same~ Any total Ron or Harry around? May be we can form our own Gryffindor Golden Trio~ haha~

Test: The Harry Potter Test

2005-11-19T23:44:00.000+08:00

O.W.L.
Quills down! You scored 86%!

You are well on your way to wizarding excellence. You've studied hard, and hey, if you keep up the hard work, you might even become an auror.

You scored higher than 63% on potterpoints

You scored higher than 69% on RandHness

Link: The Harry Potter Test written by dantesian on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Music: 忘了

2005-11-19T22:52:00.000+08:00

作詞:涂愷芝作曲:蔡健雅演唱：蔡健雅

跟我走吧晒晒太陽打開窗忘記時間痛快的玩
放肆的笑現在的季節該喧鬧就忘了遺憾也忘了自卑
看妳的笑臉多麼的美跟我走吧放下牽掛
穿上鞋大步奔跑也張開雙臂追逐甜美
起伏的心情適合愛戀忘了受過的傷忘了心碎
看妳的眼睛渴望去飛跟我走吧發現夢想深呼吸
想起遙遠失落的熱情揮灑的心妳有多少未實現的夢
忘了犯過的錯別再自責就忘了那些有沒有是不是
對不對跟著我向前走走進世界忘了曾經黑夜陽光就要出現

一直對於這首歌曲感覺很平靜，就像是天使之音一樣，因爲它是充滿著溫暖的歌曲。所以今天也特別選用了這一首歌曲來搭配現在的桌面。

Thoughts: Another Skin...

2005-11-19T21:10:00.000+08:00

Woah~ I think this is one skin that I'm really proud of myself...
Coz this is the only skin so far that I've done all by myself!!!

It's really cool for me coz I have spent hours working on this coding thingy and almost wanted to give up on it. Not to mention the fact that I also had to search for some pictures and redesign some of it... It's all in a day's work...

Hmmm....

Well, the cover gal I'm using now is Emma Watson, more commonly known to fans as Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter series.

I was surfing on the web for more pictures when I came across this background which I totally loved it. It gives a calm feeling and I felt it was the kind of feelings I would want to have for my blog. So I took it and did some editing and tried to give it a new life. Whether I have done it well or not, I really can't comment on that, but I do like this skin very much.

Now... is it an obsession with Harry Potter that made me choose Emma as my cover girl?
Well, kinda... I do like her acting in HP series for one but another thing would be that she has a very unique shine that attracts me to learn more about her. But yet, I'm not a fan.

Yes, she does look mature, but there is this light of innocent and young in her eyes which made me like her. It could also be her easy going and straight-forwardness that bring a smile to my face when I read about her interviews.

I would say, besides talents and looks...
Emma Watson is one girl that is down to earth with a playful smile...

Just the kind of person I would enjoy knowing...

Test: Which HP Kid Are You?

2005-11-19T18:25:00.000+08:00

Which HP Kid Are You?

Oh wow~ I'm Mione???
Cool~ I like her but seriously not as smart as her... (Who is?)
I mean I like to read as much as Mione, and read almost anything...
But, I'm no smartest kid around... laughs...And I'm not as hardworking~ haha~

Picture: Draco and Hermione??

2005-11-18T18:48:00.000+08:00

Well... I'm not a ship-worshipper fan really, but when I was looking for pictures to design this blogskin, I came across this picture. There's nothing strange in this picture actually. Just dancing... Normal thing to do during the Yule Ball...

But what made me look a second, no.. third time is....

Bloody Hell~ It's Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger!!!

Okay, if Ron says dancing with Viktor Krum is:
Fraternizing with the enemy

Wait till he sees this picture... ^^~

Oh my gosh... Hermione, you're going to be in big trouble if Won Won sees it~ (Laughs)

Okay, story aside... I'm afterall no Ronald Weasley.. So I dun mind... haha~
Draco is cute afterall... Oh or should I say Tom? Harry aka Dan too~

Well, what took me by surprise about this photo is not the unusual pairing, please... I do think Draco and Hermione are kinda matched for each other... Coz like what Tom Felton says himself, "I still think Hermione is going to turn evil and go out with him. (When corrected that Hermione is with Ron) Ah yes, but there aren’t any girls for Draco, are there?"

Hmmm... Nice one Tom, I do agree with you on that. No other girls seems to affect our dear Darco that much... In another words, I don't think Malfoy Jr lets any girl gets under his skin as "mudblood" Granger does... haha... But sad news for ya Tom, Draco is not going to be with our dear 'Mione especially after book 6...

As for the turn evil plot, I'm hoping too~ haha! Hack! I'm gonna be killed for even thinking of any of the Saint Golden Trio like this. But hey hey hey, Hermione's real smart I'll give you that, but so far her track record ain't as goody-two-shoe as one would think of the Golden Trio. She's kinda Slytherin in a way... Remember how she tricked Umibridge, or threatens Rita Skeeter? Not very Gryffindor of her, I think. But I won't say evil, coz she did it for good...

Oh ya, Tommy boy... I almost forgot to tell ya; Your Co-star happens to think otherwise... Emma Watson (aka Hermione Granger), happens to think that "Harry and Hermione should get together"... Well... "As long as I'm not Hermione" but when it comes to the point what to expect in the future (after HBP release), Emma says; "Hermoine and Ron have got to get together - it's been going on for so long! " So it still seems that our "Hermione" still prefers her best friends huh?

Who me? You asked me on my ship? Well... no idea really... As much as I like Won Won boy, somehow I just see RHr as a MI thing... But one wise soft toy-like guardian, Kero-Chan says, "Expect the Unexpected!", so it could happen... haha~

Oh wait~ I lost my train of thoughts again~

I was going to say why I was shocked to see this picture...
Damn... I lost my point... Well...

I am shocked to see them dancing together... Totally...
Because... (omg, correct me if I was wrong as my copy of GOF is not with me...
and it has been like a year or more since I read that book....) I really don't recall reading about Hermione and Draco dancing at all.. The only DHr moment I could think of was the tooth hex which helped Mione to straighten her teeth... But no dancing right? Hmmm... and if it is really on the movie, I don't know how it will be explained...

I think it's just a Emma Tom moment off screen... Maybe they were practising? ya... Should be... I think so.. Otherwise, I really have no explaination for it... Hmmm... Nice of Emma and Tom to interact though... They look so cute together... Mind you, I mean in Emma and Tom, not DHr... Though, I think Emma and Daniel too look cute together haha~ ^^~

米米筆跡8：我和『哈利.波特』電影緣起。。。

2005-11-16T19:54:00.000+08:00

看到現在的版面，再看看帖子的内容，相信任何人都會覺得我已經中了哈利的毒吧？

其實那也不一定，因爲論到書籍的話，哈利.波特系列並不是我所喜歡的。
不知道怎麽的，平日最喜歡魔法的我，倒對這書籍興趣缺缺的。

真正開始有購買書本來讀的衝動是在POA電影之後，我才正式想去看看書籍的内容。。。

我記得有個朋友說：「POA書籍是我最喜歡的一本，可是電影卻是最讓我失望的。」

當時的我很納悶，因爲身邊的朋友都是『哈利波特』迷，對於那部電影幾乎批評到不行，而我卻只覺得好蠻不錯的啊？那一瞬間，好奇心強的我就很想知道怎麽大家都不怎麽喜歡那部電影呢？我倒覺得女主角很聰明，我倒真的很佩服。。哈哈，我就是喜歡聰明的人！尤其是能獨立思考的女生！

我想我跟那位女主角的共同之觸，應該就是我們都不能忍受自己的不解吧？
所以我當下就買了『哈利波特』，也一口氣把書籍給全看完。

朋友們都很意外，因爲我之前都說過，我絕對不會盲目去追尋潮流，
所以以我的個性來説，我應該是哪個不會像他們一樣，去看什麽『哈利波特』。

在朋友同輩中，我一直都是屬於「意外」型，
因爲我對事物的看法往往都會跟他們不一樣。

媽媽說我真的有點怪，而身邊的人只能苦笑。

就在大家一致認爲我會因爲看了書籍，而跟他們一起迷上『哈利波特』，
我卻偏偏就要那麽與衆不同地認爲「還好而已」。

不，請不要誤解我的想法。

能創作出『哈利波特』，J K Rowling的確實一個偉大的作家，
這一點我真的是佩服得五體投地，也為她感到驕傲。

但一旦把這些魔法特點拿出來后，
我就覺得這是一個很普通的書籍。

我喜歡魔法的概念，喜歡人物個性，更欣賞JKR把社會意識加入書籍裏的那股創意。
我很喜歡JKR把種族歧視、貧富之差、家庭暴力等題材放入故事，讓讀者們無意中能理解社會時事。

可是如果說吸引我的話，
我倒認爲現在在網路上的許多『哈利波特』虛擬故事的情節，比JKR寫的來得精彩。

我喜歡意外的情節，但我更喜歡從那些網路故事中解讀年輕作者們的思想和理論。
因爲在那些故事中，我們常常都可以看到很多的不可能發生的情節，但最困難的是，
要看作者怎麽把不可能變成可能，把原作者說的不會發生，扭轉成事實。

這一些對我而言更精彩，更好看。

所以，
我並不為『哈利波特』着迷，因爲我不曾喜歡過那套書籍。
對於『哈利波特』電影而言，那也僅僅是一個娛樂。
我會覺得男主角很帥，女生很漂亮，人物勇敢又聰明。
我會期待，很期待電影的效果，
還有導演要怎麽把厚厚的一本書剪接成兩個鐘頭半的電影。

如果說喜歡的話，你也只可以說我喜歡『哈利波特』裏頭的人物。

我喜歡勇敢的Harry，不過對於他的悲觀很厭倦。
我喜歡理智聰明的Hermione，可是我擔心她那顆自卑的心。
我喜歡忠心的Ron，卻又害怕他妒嫉之心。

他們就像平凡人一樣，還是會有屬於自己的小缺點。
沒有何人一個人是完美無瑕的，就算是英雄也如此。

不過我一直都很喜歡他們的友誼。。。
如果可以的話，我希望JKR能一直保留他們的友誼。
讓Harry少自責，Ron少妒嫉，Hermione少倔強，
因爲他們的友誼對於很多人來説是望塵莫及。。。

人一輩子能找到幾個知己呢？
每一次在書本、現實生活中看到友誼時，我都特別珍惜，也會為主角們開心。
因爲這種友誼太難找了，能擁有就是一種上天的恩賜。

至於我自己，我還在找尋。
同時也在此就讓我從身邊所看到的友誼取暖，
讓我有勇氣一直等待這個冥冥中注定的知己的出現！

友誼萬歲！ ^_^

Thoughts: NEW BLOG~~

2005-11-16T01:54:00.000+08:00

Woah woah woah~~
Love it Love it Love it!
All thanks to my friend~

How do you think of this new skin huh?
Well I have my friend to thank for~!

Gal, Thanks for designing this skin for me and making it my very own blogskin~ Thanks a million!!

Yeah, I'm totally looking forward to the new Potter Movie...
That's why I am thinking of changing this skin...

Just for a gift..
Did one picture for Potter 4~

Music: Amphibian (Tanya Chua)

2005-11-12T19:09:00.000+08:00

I bet this is sudden and all, but recently I have been Listening to this album to an extend that I think I drove everyone crazy. Yet, I'm still not sick of it. This album was released early Jan 05, but till now, I am still listening to it. Maybe to many music fans, this is not your usual pop music, but I have truly enjoyed this as much as Stranger （Jun 03）. This is definitely one album which will stay in my player till another album as great comes along in future~ I leave you guys with reviews of fans from America, Japan, Taiwan and Hong Kong to read about this album, if you are interested, go buy! Great music Great Album!

上乘之作︰蔡健雅《雙棲動物》
如果與初出道時那個外型略帶硬朗，歌曲清新爽快且帶點跩的蔡健雅比較起來，現在的蔡健雅確實已經走向成熟的路線，唱得歌愈來愈「女人」。

新專輯《雙棲動物》是Tanya(蔡之洋名)轉投華納後第二張唱片，也是隨銷量不俗的《陌生人》而來的新專輯。承接著上張碟的風格，碟內的歌曲以抒情作品為主，即唱片公司所說的以都會情歌為主線。大部分歌曲都是以探討現代人的感情世界與想法為主，以期觸動人心，得到一些空虛心靈的和應。碟內的歌曲風格，大都顯得含蓄，最初「你快走開」﹑「好無聊」時的火藥味已不復見。這是Tanya打從《記念》﹑《I Do Believe》等專輯累積回來的轉變。

新碟除了必然有Tanya自己的作品外，一些合作開的音樂人如其前男友黃韻仁、Kenn .C、Adam﹑小寒，以及合作不多的黃怡、Jim Lee都在創作名單內。Tanya的創作力早就毋庸置疑，而其他創作人的作品，也是旋律
與歌詞都動人之作。在具有流行度之餘，也未有流於過份大路，是些上乘的華語情歌。至於Tanya的嗓音，日趨細膩，相信這與她閱歷漸多有關。另外，她的聲線亦有很強的滲透力，很容易就使人投入﹑沉醉於其中，這是她其中一個能吸引到樂迷的原因。

主打歌「雙棲動物」由「無底洞」原班人馬創作，旋律依舊動聽，歌詞則寫個人失去愛後的感情為主，不像上次探討一些人的心態，兩者各有特色，而一如上次，這歌的弦樂亦能烘托出一份傷感的氣氛。

同樣由黃韻仁及小寒寫的「假想敵」也是動聽的情歌。由起首的抒情，漸漸加入一些搖滾的元素，宛如心情的起伏，Tanya投入的詮釋亦與旋律﹑編曲的推進配合。

與孫燕姿合唱的「原點」是個令人意外的合作。整首歌曲詞不俗，內容動人，兩人同時錄音令合唱顯得更諧協，Tanya的冷靜﹑堅強的演繹與燕姿偏向柔情的演繹都精彩。

「優先權」﹑「坐立不安」是爽朗﹑明快的歌曲，內容出色，略有Tanya舊日的影子。其他歌曲方面，「二手煙」﹑「一分鐘追悔」及「失憶症」也是上佳的中﹑慢板情歌，值得一聽。

推介歌：「雙棲動物」、「失憶症」、「原點」

文／李重言 Stephen Lee（香港）

I adore Tanya... Sunday, January 30, 2005
評論員: AmyinUSA

WOW. I bought her 2005 release "Amphibian" on a whim and was so incredibly impressed, I went back and bought this CD. I am so glad to have 2 CDs by her. This woman is amazing. Her voice is like liquid sunshine and her music peaceful and yet uplifting. I loved "Amphibian", but one thing I REALLY like about this release, is the subtitles in English. I prefer music to be solely Chinese or Japanese, but a translation is perfect. As is Tanya. She is perfect. What else is there to say? Mere words cannot express this woman's talent. Her music and vocals speak directly to the soul and are ultimately pleasant to the ears. She is nothing short of absolutely amazing! I can only hope she continues releasing CDs. I am in love with her music and sweet voice. I like several Chinese singers, among them: Jasmine Leong, Gigi, and Vicki Zhao...but Tanya...Tanya alone has that special "je ne sais quoi...." that is unexpressable. BUY THIS CD! And while you are at it, buy "Amphibian" as well. There can never be too much Tanya in any collection of magnificent music. Just WOW...that's all I can say. This woman has it all.

せつなくなる Thursday, February 10, 2005
レビュワー: Ｋ．Ｋ

この曲を香港のＨＭＶで視聴した時、すぐにこのＣＤを買おうと決めました。滅多に邦楽と洋楽しか買わないのですが、これは言葉も全くわからず、中国語なのかも、どの国の歌手なのかもわからないまま、買って帰ってきました。このアルバム、隻棲動物？は、何かの映画の主題歌なのでしょうか。この映像にも非常に惹かれるものがあり、映画ならぜひ見てみたいのですが、残念ながら書き込みに日本語がないため、さっぱりわかりません。どなたかこの歌手とアルバムについて教えてください。お勧め度ＮＯ１．です。

Translation:
I reviewed this album in Hong Kong HMV, and decided that I would buy this album right away. I rarely buy foregin albums, and I did not know much about this singer, whether she is a chinese or of another national, but I still bought the album on my return trip. The title of this album is probably related to a movie? If it does, I would like to watch this movie. One thing about this album would be that because there is no Japanese subtitle, it is not understood at all. Yet, I would love to learn more about this singer and I would still STRONGLY Recommend this album! No 1 Album!!!

This is wonderful... Sunday, January 16, 2005
レビュワー: Sharayah (このレビュワーの全レビュー)

Compared to the many Chinese artists who seem to like to rap in their music (which I HATE)...this is refreshing. It's mellow and relaxing. Her voice is beautiful and unique. Her style, if I had to compare, reminds me of Vicki Hsaio and Jasmine Leong. Peaceful and precise without being boring at all. So far, my favorite track is #4. It's simply amazing. This woman has such style and grace, you can FEEL it in her music. I know I will be playing this CD over and over for quite some time (it will give "Piao" by Vicki a break...that's another CD that I seem to never take out of my CD player. If you like Tanya, buy Vicki too. It's available right here at YESASIA!). I also think Tanya made a VERY wise move in including Stefanie Sun YanZi on this project...Stefanie is VERY well-known and well-loved, not to mention that they sing marvelously together! Track #11 features them together and WOW. What a way to end a CD! Totally brilliant to place this track at the end. It ensures the listener will NOT forget this CD. The women don't really sing the song as a traditional "duet", but rather, they harmonize and sing TOGETHER and it's stunning. I don't think I've heard two ladies sing together so perfectly EVER. And the ballad they chose suits them BOTH and it soars and sticks to you. It's majestic...the whole CD is powerful, but the way it ends is nothing short of a masterpiece.
WOW. I hope she has another CD out VERY soon, because I will order it the moment I see it! This woman is perfect...BUY THIS CD immediately! Oh, and the lyric book is gorgeous. Lovely glossy photos along with the lyrics and credits. Very serene, and very real. It makes this singer seem quite dear. This is one time I REALLY wish I was able to play the DVD that came with the CD. I usually don't care about the DVDs, and only enjoy the music...but Tanya is an exception. I'd love to see this icon of a singer perform...but, I can't because a region 2 DVD won't play in my American region 1 DVD player. Oh well...that's OK, the CD is 100% perfect and I will enjoy that for a long, long time. Until her next CD, which I'm sure will be just as amazing. Did I mention you really need to BUY THIS?

不盲目跟隨的TANYA Wednesday, February 02, 2005
評論員: dDd

"雙棲動物"延續"無底洞"模式。唱著對愛情的期待及無助。蠻耐聽的! 剛聽到"一分鐘追悔"時覺得前奏似曾相識。後來終於腦筋終於“對”到了.. 前奏蠻像周杰倫的“ 反方向的鐘”。"一分鐘追悔"的曲是TANYA寫的﹐但我想她應該沒有抄襲的意思吧。因為就那幾個音符很相似, 整首歌的感覺跟杰倫的差別蠻大的。喜歡TANYA演繹"再見"的方式。很灑脫﹐很有個人特色。我本身也蠻喜歡聽TANYA演繹這一類比較SOFT的搖滾。 "二手煙"﹐TANYA演繹的蠻性感的,尤其是副歌部份。整張專輯最能引起我的注意的應該是"塵埃"吧。因為TANYA在這首歌裡應用了很多不同技巧上的唱法﹐蠻不錯的嘗試。 "原點"燕姿+TANYA﹐兩把具有個性的聲音﹐出來的效果﹐與眾不同﹗ 很喜歡這個專輯。這幾天也一直在重複著聽。覺得TANYA唱歌越來越有味道和個人特色。剛剛在娛樂新聞看到她﹐也覺得他越來越有種很特別的韻味。喜歡TANYA對音樂的堅持﹐不因為市場很盛行某些音樂類型而盲目跟隨。會一直支持她的作品也希望明年台灣金曲獎的入圍名單﹐能看到TANYA的名字。 =)

Review Source:
http://global.yesasia.com/b5/Reviews/CustReview.aspx?section=music&code=c&version=all&pid=1003946458&

米米筆跡 7：音樂心靈論

2005-11-12T18:09:00.000+08:00

在現實生活中認識我的每一個人都知道我喜歡音樂，
但是他們並不曉得音樂對我來說有多麽重要。

音樂是我的生命之泉，不過這並不代表我是一個很懂音樂的人。

靜悄悄的音樂進入我的生命，收音機慢慢地取代了電視機的地位，媽媽也買了第一個CD隨身聽給我。我記得一開始用CD隨身聽時，我只有那一張可悲的CD。那還是一個電視原聲帶，並不是什麽專輯。

要等我開始會買專輯時，應該是2000年的春天。
凴收音機播出的一首歌，我買了自己平生第一張專輯，《Luck》。

不知道怎麽的就會深深被這張專輯給吸引了，
尤其是歌詞的犀利，幾乎讓我在夜晚靜靜哭泣。

那年春天，
我聽到一個叫做TANYA的創作歌手，更認識了自己的心情。
原來那一種黑暗的寂寞和不安不僅僅只有我，自己的懷疑和沒自信也不是我的專屬。

就在那一瞬間，音樂成爲了我的心情慰藉，也是我個人的避風港。。。

我還記得那時候的朋友都沒有認同我欣賞的這位歌手，
就因爲她不是屬於亮麗型，不夠突出搶眼。
大家都說了；「你要不要再找一個偶像呢？這個很不適合你的年紀耶~」

我堅持著我的想法，用屬於金牛座的固執來支持自己所喜歡的音樂。
但其實我根本對音樂一知半解，對這個稱爲TANYA的英語歌手更是一無所知。
是盲目的堅持，也是一種無謂的固執，不過我從來也沒有後悔過。

如果沒有那份堅持。。。
現在的我就不會認識現在的蔡健雅，更不會去欣賞新加坡許多很厲害的歌手們。。。
雖然在短短的5年内，我已經買了百多張專輯、單曲、原聲帶，聼過無數的歌手、團體，
不過，唯一能讓我聽到心聲的還是那一個最開始教會我音樂是溝通的語言的人。。。

這幾天反復聼著『陌生人』和『雙棲動物』，心情有一種莫名其妙的感慨。。。
我從沒有真正去談一場戀愛，可是身邊常常都有許多小故事，讓這些歌曲彌漫在我的腦海中。

聼蔡健雅的歌曲，就是一段經歷，一個旅程。
不管是愛情、親情、友情、甚至時事，都有一句名言在提醒著我們。

如果有那麽一天，你能靜下來聼聼這位歌手的歌曲時，你或許會發現。。。

『My Friend』中的友誼、鼓勵和感恩
『My Color TV Set』的無聊和幽默
『你快走開』中的對愛情憤怒、疲累和厭倦
『Alright』中的無助感、一個人的孤獨
『Let You Down』中那不敢面對大家對你的期望和失望的軟弱
『True Love』人類不懂得珍惜的遺憾
『好想放假』的悠閒爽朗
『Someone Someday』中那股追求夢想的衝動和動力
『Why』裏頭講述的堅強女也會有脆弱的時候
『平凡之歌』那渴望與眾不同的平凡願望
『All I Needed』一個希望被人呵護了解的小孩，娓娓道來的竟是望子成龍的家長們對孩子的不理解和期望的莫名壓力
『Hello God』那一份對自己身邊所發生的一切的無助感和迷惘

如果有那麽一天，有人問我你最想感謝的一個人是誰。。。
我會說；「謝謝蔡健雅的音樂讓我領悟到人生的喜怒哀樂~ 讓我更懂得去體會別人的心情。」

對以前不怎麽欣賞這個歌手的朋友，
我想說；「還好我堅持自己的主見。也許她不是一個偶像，不過我卻從她的音樂中獲得更多的意義。我還是覺得她的音樂還是最好的。沒有華麗的包裝，但是卻是用真誠的心來交流。我渴望的，就是一把誠實的聲音。」

圖：『萱萱小鋪』開幕了哦~

2005-11-06T19:39:00.000+08:00

是S.H.E歌迷的朋友們知道了嗎？原來S.H.E不但懂得唱歌跳舞演戲哦！最近成員Selina還開始開店做生意耶！Selina這次開店收買的可都是自己親手D.I.Y的首飾，而有幸成爲這品牌的獨家代言人模特兒，就是當紅團體，S.H.E。除此之外，這次『萱萱小鋪』也請到才華洋溢的著名小畫家，Ella來為『萱萱小鋪』做品牌設計哦！

這一系列的『萱萱小鋪』商品只限在『周董』的新店售出哦~
這次限量商品的售賣的營業額將全部捐給兒福聯盟。所以一個義賣特別有意義哦~

Song: 不想長大 (S.H.E)

2005-11-06T00:59:00.000+08:00

I wonder if anyone have this song yet, but in case you still have no idea what this is, this is S.H.E 8th Album <不想長大>，number 1 Hit. This album is due to release in December Asia-wide.

Some information on S.H.E just for new friends out there. S.H.E is an Asian female group from Taiwan. It was formed in 2000 from a singing contest, in which all 3 members took part in. They were strangers then, yet now they are best of friends.

The group has the bubbly and friendly Ella Chen as the leader and handling the base. Next would be Selina Jen with her sweet princess look and voice to win your heart. Lastly would be the youngest Hebe Tien, the cool girl with a strong vocal to wow fans.

The song <不想長大> mean Don't Wish To Grow Up. It sounds funny but I bet it is a inner voice in many people's heart. Don't you ever wish you ever a kid again and hoping that you could left all the mess behind you? Just like a carefree kid, enjoying the breeze...

This song mention how people changes when they grow up, and how S.H.E hope to pass on the message that even if we are all growing up and changing, we should not lose ourseles, heart, soul and belief in the midst of the deal of growing up.

It's maybe link to a love song, but thinking back abit, it too, can be link to our lives... Don't you think so?

SHE最新专辑《不想长大》首播主打
不想长大★
SHE★
词：施人诚曲：左安安

為什麼就是找不到不謝的玫瑰花
為什麼遇見的王子都不夠王子啊
我並不期盼他會有玻璃鞋和白馬
我驚訝的是情話竟然會變成謊話

為什麼幸福的青鳥要飛的那麼高
為什麼蘋果和擁抱都可能是毒藥
我從沒想過有了他還孤單的可怕
我突然想起從前陪我那個洋娃娃

我不想我不想不想長大
長大後世界就沒童話
我不想我不想不想長大
我寧願永遠都笨又傻
我不想我不想不想長大
長大後我就會失去他
我深愛的他深愛我的他
已經變得不像他

我不想我不想不想長大
長大後世界就沒童話
我不想我不想不想長大
我寧願永遠都笨又傻
我不想我不想不想長大
長大後我就會失去他
我深愛的他深愛我的他
怎麼會愛上別的他

為什麼水晶球裡面看不出他在變
為什麼結局沒歡笑而是淚流滿面
我願意在他回來前繼續安靜沉睡
但他已去到別座城堡吻另一雙嘴

為什麼對流星許願卻從來沒實現
為什麼英勇的騎士會比龍還危險
我當然知道這世界不會完美無瑕
我只求愛情能夠不要那麼樣複雜

讓我們回去從前好不好
天真愚蠢快樂美好

Song: Something Should Change

2005-10-31T13:39:00.000+08:00

You'd be sad if you read the news of today
Cause' it's guns and the crimes still getting all the headlines
You'd be wondering what went wrong for it to turn out that way, out that way
You would hide in the shadows
Away from the rest cause' you know only, only the pretty girls deserve the best
Who in the world, made the rules that we should feel that way, feel that way

I think it's time some things should change
It doesn't have to be that way
I think it's time some things should change
It doesn't have to be that way

You're the first on the list when numbers are glowing
And the last on their list at the end of your success
Cos' you should have known better
That it has always been that way, been that way
You remember the past
The slamming, the screaming of your parents
And so you stop believing in love
And you think it's okay but it doesn't have to be that way, be that way

I think it's time some things should change
It doesn't have to be that way
I think it's time some things should change
It doesn't have to be that way

Thoughts: BLOODY DRIVERS AND THEIR DESIRE TO BEAT THE RED~~~~

2005-10-31T13:01:00.000+08:00

Well, I do wonder if anyone reads this stuff, if you do, I'm gonna say a big THANK YOU to you. I think I have kinda missed out on here for sometimes. Not on purpose but sometimes you have that mental block on your mind which made you tired and wearily.

Well, just some updates on what I'm doing now... I'm actually trying to write a story on my own, which is really a challenge for me. I mean, I do write Fan Fictions from times to times, but coming up with something on my own is something I have never done. It's really fun for me though... haha~

Talking about recent events.. I think I'm just pure grateful to be alive. I am, really. It was just 2 days ago that I realised how lucky I am or rather how by stroke of luck and fate, I almost had 2 accidents in the same day.

It was nothing serious but after reading the headlines on these couples of days' papers, I realised just how lucky I was. Car accidents are so bloody hell common in Singapore. I think it's the bulb of our bad news. Yes, we do have crimes like murder and rob, but most of the times it's accidents... That hurts big time. Those are something that can and could have be prevented... but somehow we never take note of them...

We all have that "hack care" attitude (Singaporean terms) thinking that it's never be us on the headlines, when it comes to these stuff... and when tragic strikes, we would all have that "Have mercy on the family" act but all gather around to watch "shows" and rush to the nearest Singapore Pools shop to buy 4D the carplate number, time of accident, how many dead...etc. And when it finally hit home, we would cry our eyes out and asking why... What the hell is wrong with us? Do we really need to be hurt to learn? I know we learn better when we are hurt, but does it have to be that way?

Thinking back to my rides on both buses 2 days ago, I think I already have an answer.. It is all about winning, so much so that we don't care what we do? What's with the deal of beating the red lights? Could it kills you just to wait for the green? Apparently it does, coz people rather get killed themselves for it... God save us all... If you have that idea in mind, please do not ever drive, or worse become a bus driver...

PLEASE FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, just don't try to take someone else with you when you decide to try that. I'm not scare for my life but I'm scare of what I'll see on the news each day... People, REAL LIVING HUMANS，ARE DYING IN POOLS OF BOOD BECAUSE OF A STUPID MISTAKE. Hell! Can't anyone see that? I wish that if there is really someone reading this stuff, please at least think about it.. Drivers or not, it doesn't hurts to obey rules...

米米筆跡6：觀後感

2005-10-22T19:46:00.000+08:00

最近的一個星期來，我一直都用來把長達25集的『真命天女』一口氣看完了。感覺上這部戯有點雷聲大雨點小，因爲整部劇並沒有很浪漫，也有點熟套。感覺上寫劇本的那位仁兄仍把對市場了解程度留在2000年。因爲這整部劇的感覺真的很土，簡直是用上了所有偶像劇都會用的老哏。對此讓我看得有點沒耐心。

不過也不是說這部劇沒有可取之処，因爲劇本的問題並不是整部戯的問題。老實說這次的演員們都相當用心，其中S.H.E和新人郭彥均的表現特別出色。對於S.H.E三人來説，要演回自己應該是相當得心應手吧？看這部戯的時候，我縂覺得我們是借用劇來乘機窺探S.H.E的生活，因爲在很多對手戯時，聽著她們吵鬧時，真得就像是在看S.H.E三人對話。

其中三位女主角中，我最欣賞的就是任潔，這號人物。當然這並非是因爲我個人對於Ella的心愛，相反的我更是喜歡上任潔這個女生。

一開始看戯時，難免會對「搶錢一族」的任潔有點反感。在初步認識下，感覺上她的世界都是用金錢來痕量，處理事情很霸道無理，甚至不惜説謊來逃過懲罰。可是漸漸的，我對於我這種感想開始内疚了。這種感覺讓我再一次明白了「在還沒真正了解人時，不要輕易下定論」的道理。

被皮薩店老闆稱爲「任小潔」的任潔雖然表現得很愛錢，可是卻很受身邊朋友的愛戴。從她活潑開朗堅強的外表來看，我們根本就看不出來任潔是一個孤兒，更不知道任潔生活坎坷。原來在那「搶錢一族」的外表下，竟是藏著一個單純的心願；默默祈求弟弟「任志」的病情早日康復。

一旦知道任潔的資料后，一顆心就忍不住要佩服這位年僅22嵗的小女生。就像弟弟小志說的「姐姐一直都很辛苦」，看到這女孩看著自己的破鞋竟然很阿Q精神地說一句「難怪下雨天會溼溼的」，甚至還去鼓勵萍水相逢剛喪父的周心蕾和丟了工作又失戀的沈孝柔，這一幕幕都讓我對任潔這個女生印象深刻。這一切簡直可以說任潔是一個不向命運低頭，又善解人意的女生。

當然這只不過是一開始，命運給與任潔的安排不單是無家可歸失業那麽簡單，它更挑戰了任潔的道德觀和保護弟弟的兩個極限，讓她在道德和親情上做出殘酷的選擇。人的堅持一旦被命運再三地挑戰，再堅決的心也會有自私的時候。最後任潔還是選擇了放棄自己的道德，只爲了延續弟弟的生命。

可是這真的是一時的自私，還是任潔的自我犧牲呢？選擇放棄自己的道德，背負著良心的譴責，甚至無意中傷害了自己的好朋友，被人罵是「滿口謊言的騙子」，我猜想這一切無形中帶給任潔一種很重大的壓力，也讓原本開朗的她變得文靜憂鬱了。這一切的變化全都看在大家的眼裏，「少了笑容」的任潔看起來特別讓人心酸，也是大家對後來的任潔常常擔心的一點。最讓我心疼的一幕是正浩和任潔對話時，他曾懇求任潔自私一點為自己着想，而任潔竟然很認命地說「我占走了周小諾的身份就得背負起她的包袱」。單從這句話來看，就能清楚知道任潔對於自己自責感有多高了。

從這部劇一開始，任潔似乎就已經給自己定上了「犧牲者」這個標簽。從一開始爲了弟弟去假扮「周小諾」，到後來爲了蕾蕾壓抑自己對正浩的感情，一直到最後選擇離去保護正浩，把假扮「周小諾」的酬勞全捐出去贖罪，甚至到處旅行完成病逝弟弟的心願，感覺上任潔好像一直都沒有為自己想過。當一切已成爲定局時，大家才恍然發覺「她現在什麽都失去了，應該沒有人比她更痛苦吧」。到最後就連曾無意被任潔深深傷害過的蕾蕾也忍不住說了一句：「她真傻，爲什麽要這麽懲罰自己呢？」

如今在靜靜回想兩年前也同樣讓我心動的主角，『薔薇之戀』裏頭的「肉包子」鄭百合，我不禁笑了。同樣都是同一個演員，個性上卻有偏差，但那顆善解人意的心仍是依舊。對自己不自信的鄭百合在哥哥「韓堇」和弟弟「韓葵」的保護下，仍散發著一種非凡的氣質。她的執著和愛心給冰冷的韓家帶來了溫度。

在相比之下，大刺刺又堅強的任潔並不像鄭百合那麽幸運，有人在一邊為她看守。可能就是因爲生活不穩定的關係，反讓任潔建立起了自我防衛，在個性上比溫和的鄭百合來的強硬霸道。可是漸漸的，只要我們學會看穿任潔那自我防衛的方式后，我們就會驚覺原來任潔也和鄭百合一樣貼心懂事。

也許是不再天真了，我開始覺得經過命運曲折離奇的安排下的任潔，雖然並不完美，但是我卻覺得這樣的任潔更真實更值得我們去認真探索。或許在大家的心目中，鄭百合的地位是無可取代的，但眼前的這一位任潔何嘗不是另一個無可取代的人物呢？

米米筆跡5：經歷

2005-10-11T15:27:00.000+08:00

今天早上起來不到5分鐘就收到了一個炸彈~
有那麽一點點地沮喪，想不到我的「戰場」果然又出事了。

一看到那個嚴重的簡訊時，原本的好心情頓時跌入谷底。我也忍不住要碎碎念幾句。哈哈~真的！我不知道我是從幾時開始會產生這種感覺，不過可以說的是，真的有點好笑~連在OE的朋友們都很認命地說；「唉~算了吧？反正飯店每隔不久就會出事的~你應該習慣了吧？」。

可是我真得不想，也不希望習慣它。

因爲我知道一旦習慣了，我就會開始厭倦。
我擔心如果我一厭倦了，我就會變得不聞不問了~

就算是戰場，就算是炸彈。。。
OE還是我的家，而其中飯店是我常住的地方。。。

從開始討厭文學自走向、跟人爭辯到自我懷疑，選擇離開第一個家。。。
到之間被安排到和我無關的貼圖版，慢慢一點點地學習作圖，讓自己遺忘文字。。。
到最後大家還是覺得文字才是我的地盤，把我拉到了飯店。。。

雖然說從寫小説變成了心情獨白，是一個很大的變化，
但是我都可以接受，因爲我真的很喜歡文字。

不過，我卻一直都沒有遺失那份自我懷疑的悲觀。。。
很快了，我終于很懦弱地選擇了逃避。。。。

也許就像大家說的「休息是爲了走更長遠的路」，
我離開了，又在小如和貓貓的邀請下，
回到了我最熟悉的家園。。。

那次回來正是暴風雨后的殘骸~
也許是因爲長大了，也許是因爲看到傷害，
我竟然振作了起來，很努力去做~

一直很高興看到平靜，因爲我會想起最初的崐亂都是我們的努力擺平才有現在的平靜。。。
不過有人說平靜不是永久的，這句話我真的沒有辦法不相信。
因爲在回到飯店的1年零二個月裏，我們時不時都遇上了亂流。。。

有人造炸彈，刻意挑撥，
有趁火打劫，製造暴亂，
有扇風點火，胡言亂語。

一次次的挑戰，一次次的解決。
感覺上雖然只是短短的一年，那經歷卻看起來是好久了。。。

雖然次次都有解決的辦法，可是卻不能每一次都逢凶化吉。。。
有一些時候我學會殘冷無情，有時候我變得連自己也不認識了。。。
就像是一個變臉大師一樣，我臉上的面具一直都在變~

時不時要趕盡殺絕，又有時要低聲下氣。。。
有時候明明很生氣，卻要很有禮貌應對。。。
有時時明明不同意，卻要為大局而反應。。。

我還記得師傅最近對我說過「你太有耐性到我看了都沒耐性」。。。
其實我很想說我自己也會看了很想去撞墻。

不過如果我真實一點的話，我想問題應該更難擺平吧？
我明明是頑固的金牛座，可是在面對別人我竟然會選擇天平座的處事待人，雙子座的面面俱到。。。
這個變化讓我自己都覺得訝異~

你知道嗎？
今天在處理這件事情后，我贏得別人的認同，真的很欣慰。
在疲倦的心靈上，有那一點點的欣慰。

真的真的很想離開放棄，
不過看到有陌生人忽然說出一聲「謝謝你的堅持」，
那疲倦的嘴角也會上揚。

音樂分享：白天不懂夜的黑

2005-10-10T18:09:00.000+08:00

歌曲：白天不懂夜的黑
演唱：蔡健雅（原唱：那英）

詞:黃桂蘭　曲:林隆璇　編曲:CHRISBABIDA

我們之間沒有延伸的關係
沒有相互佔有的權利
只在黎明混著夜色時
才有淺淺重疊的片刻

白天和黑夜只交替沒交換
無法想像對方的世界
我們仍堅持各自等在原地
把彼此站成兩個世界

你永遠不懂我傷悲
像白天不懂夜的黑
像永恆燃燒的太陽
不懂那月亮的盈缺

你永遠不懂我傷悲
像白天不懂夜的黑
不懂那星星為何會墜跌

不懂我傷悲
就好像白天不懂夜的黑

Note: If you guys are wondering why I'm putting up the cover version instead of the original, well, to me, this is the "original one" I heard and totally fell in love with. Even if it is a concert version, it sound so nice... haha~

Thoughts: Different-- A Sin?

2005-10-10T14:29:00.000+08:00

Just for any concern friends reading this, I'm still getting my lungs coughed out once in a while but I'm better now~ haha~ hmmm...

Right, back to my main thread.

There is always something which I had been troubled with for a long time...

Is being different really that bad?

I really have no clear answers to that...

I mean yes we all are saying that it's the Y-generation now (oh wait, has it changed to Z. or X, or E? I can never put a finger on that letter thingy~ What does it means anyway? Does it matters?), and for youngsters of this new generation, we have our own style and thinking!

I think that in Taiwan culture means the 7th generation, or Qi Nian Ji Sheng (七年級生）. In this context, they are said to be brave, unique, stylish, confident and daring... Just naming some presentatives, S.H.E, Joe Chuang, Rainy Yang etc..

Just for explaination note it for those who are born in year 1981-1990, which falls into the ROC (meaning- Republic Of China， Taiwan's full country name) Timeline of 70s.

As much as we all, the media hyped-up this generation label, I really wonder do we live it up to that "expectation" at all?

I really doubt that coz we still have peer pressure, peer expectations and standards to meet. Look around you, are you affected by what people say or are you concern about how they judge you? There is always some form of invisible rule trying to measure us up. And I for one, just don't care about that rule.

But my friends do. That's where it hurts.

One time or another you will hear one muttering their doubts about themselves.
The other time you will hear them being cruel and tough passing off judgments on others.

But hey hey! Don't you guys see the patterns at all?
Here you are worrying that others would just pass cutting comments on you and then you go about judging others planting seeds of doubt on them...

Eh... what the hell are you doing?
You dread them hurting you, but you're hurting them...

It's all some kind of cycles..

Words...
Those are merely words, yet they grown to become some form of dead rules...
And those things stick on... We are come to live again in peer pressure, expectations and standards...

So tell me about what's the definition of Y Gen again?
Brave, Unique, Stylish, Confident and Daring...

Right...
Once in a blue moon you find a brave soul trying to be unique,
Then the peers would cast him off as a outcast and "try to correct" him into what they think is Stylish,
That when real Confident starts to fade and pressure sets in to make him do something Daring....
And in the whole idea of winning the group approval, he does something really stupid...

That is the story of the Y Gen I see around me...

If this is the rule set for me, well I would say it suck badly...

I live by my own rules...
Mainly, if what can't hurt me and people, that's okay with me...

Brave - It's not by doing something to prove yourself, rather it is again facing yourself and correcting yourself when you do wrong. Coz true courage is overcoming things that you fear!

Unique - It's being yourself. Who cares if they think I'm a odd ball? As long as I feel good and believes in what I do, that's my life!

Stylish - Many would spend every dollar to buy a name. But do names make Style? I can dress in a 10 dollar Tee-shirt and make a superstar ask me where I bought it coz it looks really nice (Yes, it happened to me once with an artiste haha). Yes, names don't make style, you are the one who makes a sentence! If you can't catch the meaning, go ahead and spend every dollar till you're broke, and you'll never truly be stylish.

Confident - Now confident is a hard to judge thing.. I'm not a very confident kid if you ask me. But when I believe in my ideas, I would put in everything to make it works. It may not usual definition of confident, but hey each to its own, I have my ways you have yours.

Daring - Ah... Daring, does that means be a Daredevil? Hell no! Being daring at the right time. Courage and dare comes in different forms. Going on dares by friends and doing stuff to prove yourself doesn't mean you daring. Please! Daring is when you listen to your heart, soul and mind, and doing whatever they tell you despite how people may judge you. Dare to make a difference, dare to make a stand, dare to say no to foolish ideas, those are what being daring is about！

I'm a Gen Y but I am my own Gen Y.
I think for myself and judge my own actions...
If you can't accept me, too bad... We'll just stay on neutal grounds thank you.

Thoughts: Fan fiction and Reality

2005-10-08T12:22:00.000+08:00

These couple of days while I'm still coughing my lungs off, I was still online haha~ I know I may have ignored a couple of my friends on msn and totally ignore those on Yahoo and QQ... But haha I was reading some fanfics online and I really didn't have much to say to people besides the fact that I am still coughing my lungs off... But then, really really thankful to those who asked about my condition... though... it was confusing for me to switch languages haha~ Almost talked to the wrong group... haha.. Thanks again, you guys made me feel so loved haha~

Oops~ I think I talked too much... When back to fan fictions... I have a recent interest in reading fan fiction and I think it could be fun to read them...

I think to some extends, I feel that sometimes fanfic are much more better than fiction. Because somehow when you think of fanfic, you will have some degree of freedom to do whatever you want. I think it is this freedom that makes me feel that sometimes we are more creative than the writers themselves... Really, one of my favourite crossover between stories would be the famous CCSHP, meaning Cardcaptor Sakura and Harry Potter... It sounds unbelieveable at first, coz what do they ever have in common? Magic? Maybe? And The fact that both leads have green eyes? Yes... How could they ever be related? They could or not...

Let me throw a few lines at you. One, Sakura Kinomoto would be the fourth Potter? Maybe.. It can be explained by why she is the only Kinomoto with green eyes and be even related to Lily Evans... Or sheer luck a half father by the name of Eriol Hiiragizawa decided to teach her western magic? Afterall, Clow Reed the most powerful sorcerer is taught of both eastern and western magic, it does make prefect sense to let his "daughter" to learn so too (even if the daughter is now said to be more powerful than himself...")

The sense of logic seems twisted but somehow you can't find a fault in them.. That's why I prefer fanfic than fiction... It says that no matter how different two worlds may seems to people, that is always some kind of links between them... It's like how we see things too... Sometimes we are so trapped in our own world thinking how wrong others are, but at the same time, you never stop to think how in another situation, how wrong you could be to others...

They say we can see a sand in others but not a brick on ourselves... How many times do you stand up to your friends in the name of friendship and concern, tellin them that they are wrong? Sometimes it's for moral, other times just simply "it's not right!"

It's great and nice to care for your friends but sometimes why do we want to correct them? Because it is for their goods? Maybe? But what if your friends feel good the way they are, and they ain't harming anyone or anything by doing something they prefer? Would the stand "for his / her own good" still makes sense?

I was talking to a friend recently and she was telling me about how "friends" are overconcerned about her and trying to get her to change her habit just simply because they think its not good...

It is not at all uncommon to hear about this... I think we all face peer pressure and somehow the social seems to have its set of rules that people tend to keep without questioning about them.

Okay, I'll say first, I have some rules and thoughts of my own but I'll never force my thinking on my friends. Because I am myself, and my friends are who they are. They are not carbon copies of my thoughts. It is always nice to have them like or think somehow like me, but that is not a reason to say they should think what I'm thinking. Accepting people for who they really are and not judging them are what a true friend would do.

I like a line that goes:
A true friend would rather suffer than see his or her friend suffer.

It would take a person with really strong belief and big heart to do so, and whoever can do it, I really think you are a great friend. I'm afraid I'm not that great to do so, but I can try I guess.

For now,
I'll listen and not judge...
I'll advise and not order...
I'll share and not pressure...

For people are who they are,
They choose their own path, while we can only offer advices and comments.
You can talk to them and explain but not insisted that you are right...
Because everything has two sides, until you can see both sides, you have no right to judge...

But... A word of advice, when you see both sides, you'll tend not to judge... Because that is when you learn to understand them, both of them...
That's when you will realise there is no wrong to judge, just some differences in belief...

Differences in Belief, now isn't that why we all have to communicate in the first place? Yet the presence of wars and fights, are cruel proof of our miscommunications.

In fanfic, I learn to accept and think of the unexpected.

In fanfic, We dare to dream and step out of the box,
Funny how in real life, we stand rooted to our belief and judge those who are different.
If one day, when we are willing to learn not to express our thoughts on others and judge them, maybe then would World Peace truly arrive.

Thoughts: Feeling Sick

2005-10-06T14:31:00.000+08:00

Woz... Let me count... I think it was 2 days since I last posted something?

Well the past 2 days had been sick and sleep for me most of the time. Even now I'm not feeling pink... haha~ I am having a strange fever that seems to go on and off whenever it likes, a cough that is too playful for its own good and a cold which is too sticky to go away...

Well, I hope you get the picture.. haha~

In short....
I'm not feeling great now...

Letter Set Design

2005-10-02T20:21:00.000+08:00

I have always enjoyed trying out new stuff.. so this time I'm challenging myself to design a letter set for the forum, OE... Well, this is something I did on my own, even though it isn't perfect, somehow I am proud of myself... haha~

Here's the results...

Front

Back

Picure: 星光

2005-09-30T23:58:00.000+08:00

This is something I came up with in 20 minutes... It isn't much actually... But I kinda like it too...

But I think the main idea to do this was to try to break myself from falling into a pattern... Well, according to my PS shifu, DD, she said that I have the habit of beautifying my graphic... and that habit happens to be somehow similiar to XL's style...

I'm not disagreeing with them, coz I do realise that I can be unrealistic at times and go for perfection... I am the type who can fall into a comfort zone easily, so I have to push myself out of the zone and do something...

Lucky.. This graphic seems to tell me that I can do better...

New Internet Language--orz Do you know?

2005-09-30T21:19:00.000+08:00

2005/01/25
心情很orz嗎？

orz這個算是象形文的符號在網路聊天上使用已經有一段時日，昨天在新聞中又做了大幅報導。不知道的人，進來看看吧！

在網路上跟朋友聊天的時候，還在打LKK嗎？那可就表示您落伍了！現在Ｚ世代的新新人類，最喜歡的網路用語就是「orz」，意思是指心情很鬱卒。「orz」這三個字用唸的，可能很難懂，不過把它寫出來，從左看到右就能看出一點網路象形文字的端倪。

什麼是orz？相信很多人都聽的很模糊，其實它就是英文版的象形文字，意思就是心情很鬱卒。所謂的orz，要從左側看到右側，o代表的是人頭，很失望的往下垂。r是撐在地上的雙手，而z就是跪在地上的雙腳。

現在除了有比較簡單的用法之外，還出現orz的加強版，像是or2，就是屁股比較翹的人，很失落的跪在地上，而囧rz強調的是臉部失望的表情。

orz已經在日本造成一股風潮，從禁止標誌、到玩具、雕像，統統可以看到orz的影子，甚至還有專屬網站。這股網路象形文字的旋風，從日本瘋到台灣，如果下次跟朋友msn的時候，可不要說看不懂什麼是orz，不然就真的遜掉了。

http://blog.sina.com.tw/archive.php?blog_id=4410&md=entry&id=6734

Picture: Ella 只是當時

2005-09-29T20:20:00.000+08:00

I've just collected my soundtrack yesterday and was watching the DVD today.... And I dunno why but when I was watching this MV today, I had a sudden urge to cry.

This song is called 只是當時 (Only Then), well in case you are wondering if this is another love song, it is not. It is actually talking about how Ren Jie (aka Ella) felt when her only brother died of illness suddenly. She was all alone because she was asked to pretend to be somebody else, due to the pretending, she was not even allowed to talk to anyone about her brother or how she feel, just in case people get hold of her real identity.

Well, I'm the only child in the family.. so the song does not remind me of any brothers, rather.. I was feeling the sense of loss that I think Ren Jie would have at that moment. Coz not matter how successful she was, deep down inside, nobody got to know the real her... she had to continue to put on a brave cover even though she was really feeling hurt by the loss of her only family... That was the point that made me feel sad most...

I felt that somehow I could relate to that point because I have always made it a point not to show my real emotions to others... Even if I'm angry with them or anything, I would not jump right up to face them. To all who know me, they think I am a happy go lucky kid because everything anything comes up I'll have an idea how to deal with it or better, I could even comfort my friends... I'm almost the kid who can do no wrong to everyone.. (But... am I really?)

The most I would show would be to be quiet suddenly... Or just not talking to people. That to people was my form of angry or moodiness... But... It wasn't really. I just wanted some time to think... I think it was in secondary school when I realised that how this make my friends worry for me... So slowly I stopped that... I'm still be quiet when I need time to think but this time I make sure that I wear a smile... only then will they not misunderstand...

Sometimes I wonder... Am I the person I am to them, or rather the person they believe I would be?

Quote of the Day

2005-09-28T12:45:00.000+08:00

黑夜如果不黑暗美夢又何必嚮往破曉會是堅持的人最後獲得的獎賞
黑夜如果太黑暗我們就閉上眼看希望若不熄滅就會亮成心中的星光

You know when you are feeling down and weary of the world, listening to S.H.E latest song, Xing Guang (星光) could be a good motivation. No, this is not shameless promotion for my idols... I don't believe in that anyway.

I was feeling really down and blue for sometimes and lyrics of songs meant to cut had been repeating themselves in my mind. The funny part is, I have never been so good at recalling lyrics. I don't even remember the song but lines of it seems to stick even though I have not been listening to it... Strange? Maybe...

Well...I'm currently listening to this song (星光) on repeat mode, however unlike my usual listening style, I wasn't looking deep into this song. Instead I have been listening and repeating the lyric to myself. I think I kinda drove my neighbour crazy with the song coz I just heard them close their door... haha~ My room happens to be the closest to their house so... I think I really disturbed them. haha...

Okay, back to the song, I am quite surprise that S.H.E actually has a pop song which has a strong meaning. I mean usually, they are like many idols, into love songs and friendships... But this time the song really hit hard on reality.

The two lines I put above are repeated most in the song, which in music sense we can call them the hooks... So far, I really like this hook, even though it is long and hard to remember. (how can they be hooks when they are hard to remember? Funny thing~) But once you get the meaning of the lines, you'll think it is a nice thing to remember them.

黑夜如果不黑暗美夢又何必嚮往破曉會是堅持的人最後獲得的獎賞
If darkness is not dark What's the use of Dreaming The break of dawn would be the ultimate reward for those who persisted
黑夜如果太黑暗我們就閉上眼看希望若不熄滅就會亮成心中的星光
If darkness is too dark we'll see with eyes closed When Hope is not lost it'll shine in your heart

For now, I'll try to bear these words into my mind...
Hopefully I'll strive to see the starlights as the song says...

MTV: 星光

2005-09-28T00:19:00.000+08:00

Just received the MV from my friend, Yogo (小如：你最棒！第一時間提供哦~感恩阿~）and was watching the MV. It looks different from the usual S.H.E MVs but I like it still... However, I was kinda worried over the SM joke about the MV in Taiwan. After watching, I think it is safe to say, there's nothing like that... I guess... But hack, I don't even know what the hell is SM.... so... whatever... As long as the MV looks good to me, it's enough~ haha~

米米筆跡4：矛盾的心理

2005-09-27T16:24:00.000+08:00

前天在OE看到小當家的請辭信，一直讓我覺得好可惜~
有一種失落的感覺，因爲又有一個熟悉的朋友離開了家。。。

不過，其實小當家的心情我多少也有一些。。。

我想我就像Ella一樣，一開始爆發力十足，接下來卻後勁無力吧？
一開始都會很瘋狂地想要去了解她們，甚至不惜花費力氣和金錢去接近她們。。。
我想這個就是時下年輕人追偶像的心態吧？

對於S.H.E的喜愛已經漸漸變成了一種習慣，
開始遺忘了之前的那種熱情。

隨著墻上的海報不斷更新，心情的起落調試，
我開始發現原本挂滿S.H.E海報的墻，已經被其他的事物取而代之了。
原本挂著S.H.E，現在慢慢變成了Ella。。。（但還是會有S.H.E的）
從海報墻變成了CD墻，是年紀的變化嗎？（從10多張海報到現在4張。。）
我意識到自己變了。

視覺上的變化，也漸漸影響了我的心態。。。
上Onlyella也不再是一種期待，它已經變成了一種習慣。。。
本來習慣天天來OE，但後來選擇換成主頁時，那就變成了一個必然。。。
上網時一定會先到OE。。。

這個感覺已經變成了機器化，也讓我不斷去反思自己的行爲。。。
少了那份鬥志真的感覺很對不起很多人，但說離開卻又很不捨得。。。
所以一直在留下和離開徘徊不定。。。

一開始當版主，我還是以小孩子的心情，自以爲是地開心掌握權力。。。
那種野心促使我想力爭上游，繼續作的更好。。。
可是隨著新鮮感的淡去，我開始理解責任感的負擔。。。
這種負擔曾讓年少的我很錯愕，甚至不知所措。。。
在面對一絲的困境時，就宛如墜入地獄似的痛苦。。。

我是個孩子氣的人，一旦遇到不如意時，我就會拿自己出氣。。。
我甚至會給自己一些壓力做一些無理取鬧的事情，讓自己更痛苦，更難受。。。
看在別人眼裏或許是錯誤，但我似乎就是不能容許自己出錯。。。
以前是這樣，現在更是這樣。。。

不，我不是處女座的女生，更不是天蠍座的。。。
但我卻是金牛座的，或許這就是我唯一固執的地方吧？

也許久是這樣子，我才會那麽舉棋不定吧？
不斷不斷地自我反省自我考驗，卻因爲對自己的嚴格而常常陷入一個死角，怎麽也不能釋放自己。。。

阿姨說過我是個太誠實的孩子，從來不會對別人説謊。。。
可是我發現我並不誠實，至少我是一個說一套做一套的人。。。
對於別人的錯誤迷失，我總能對他們說沒關係，想開點，一次錯誤不會怎樣的。。。
而看到他們真的能釋懷時，我真得很開心。。。

只是在對於自己時，我卻不會那麽對自己說。。。
我或許不贊成、不能理解、不喜歡，但在別人面前我都會說還不錯。。。
我一直都不會對人說真心話，對於唯一的家人和家人也是。。。
我寧可説謊讓他們安心。。。

所以說，是誰說過我是個誠實的小孩呢？
我一直都不是。。。

Picture: Tsubasa

2005-09-27T01:33:00.000+08:00

I just did this picture for fun... Mainly coz I'm planning to buy this comics...
When I have the bucks to... So far.... It seems neat, afterall I am a fan of CLAMP comics...

Did any of you feel that the mains in the picture look familiar?

If you do, don't worry, your brain is not shutting down on you...
In fact it is true that the 2003 comic by CLAMP is actually using back a lot of their old creation with main cast from the famous Cardcaptor Sakura...

CCS was the most popular and successful series of CLAMP over 1998-2002, with 12 comics, 72 series TV and 4 movies (counting the mini Kero Movie)... Not to mention that the Anime was well drawn, in fact one of CLAMP's Prime and Sakura was rewarded the best female actress/lead by NHK TV... (Gees they even have awards for anime leads in Japan???) Oh ya, and Singapore TV was totally crazy enough to air the Mandarin Series from 1998 to 2000 and again airring the english version (which I totally hate~) from 2000-2003, in the process, replaying the series twice... Faint~ I won't mind that much if it was the mandarin version coz at least the storyline is the same~ Geez makes me wonders what lies those NA tv feeds to the kids...)

Song: Alright

2005-09-26T18:59:00.000+08:00

Music / Lyric: Tanya

I'm frightened by the thought of hanging around too much on my own
That's when the demons come and play on my ground of thoughts
Something's wrong with me yet I can't figure it out by myself
When will it be all right?

Time passes by so slowly when you cannot sleep at night
When someone right comes along you let him slip away
The streets are filled with sirens chasing down the violence
Damn ! When will it be all right?

No it doesn't get better
When people fake it saying they understand
What to them doesn't matter
How I ever got to feeling so low

I can't recall much happy moments in my childhood years
When someone laughs at me I'm nowhere to run and hide
Constantly seeking ways to make a point but no one hears
When will I be all right?

Don't you start making compromises
It wouldn't be of any use to me now
Don't you start making up for time
Because it wouldn't be all right

No it doesn't get better
When people fake it saying they understand
What to them doesn't matter
How I ever got to feeling so low

Damn! When will it be all right?
Damn! When will it be all right?

-----------------------------------------------
Okay, I admit it... I have kinda a sick love for this song, especially whenever I feel alone and that I need something to drown myself in... I think alot of you guys gonna be familiar with the music afterall it was released as a Chinese song even though the English is the original and better one~ haha~

I love the lyric because it just described the helplessness and lost when you are feeling down... And people will keep telling you it'll pass, it'll be alright... Sure they are concern... but you'll know deep down it isn't alright at all~ Life sucks but this is how it all pans out...~

Test 6: Which Japanese name fits you best?

2005-09-26T17:34:00.000+08:00

Your Japanese name should be

'Aki'

which means "autumn".

You can be compared with autumn, the way the autumn weather changes, is how your feelings change. You have these mood swings you can't control; one moment you're happy, the next you're feeling almost depressed. You're probably sensitive and creative.

Which Japanese name fits you best? [females, 9 results + absolutely stunning ANIME pictures!]
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Hmmm... Maybe I should take this advice... haha~
Afterall my fave season is autumn..

Test 5: Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??

2005-09-26T17:16:00.000+08:00

Morpheus

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
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Test 4: What is your anime element?

2005-09-26T17:11:00.000+08:00

Water is your anime element. You're a calm person and very intelligent. You're a good listener and people enjoy coming to you because they know you'll listen to what they have to say. You're wise and have a good sense of judgment. You're an artistic soul and see things differently than others. You understand people and can tell what's true and false. You're a wave of emotions and tend to overwork yourself. If you were an anime character you would control water. Your power would be controlling the weather and using the moisture in the air to form a weapon.

What is your anime element?
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Test 3: What's your inner power?

2005-09-26T16:39:00.000+08:00

Understanding-

Your inner power is Understanding! Lifes many mysteries have become your ultimate goal to work out. You are neither a good or bad person, just very neutral, very stable. You look down on nothing or anyone, merely observe their point of view and make no judgments. You can be seen as very shadowy and uncertain in what you believe in to an outsider, but this isnt always true. You simply dont flaunt your views around. You have a few, close friends who rely on you, and love you for the way your never scorn for the way they live their lives. You are very caring and would make a great mother, seeing you always try to help those who come to you for your aid. You are extremely hard to anger, and yet when you are, your forgiveness is hard to gain. You are loyal, secretive, very quiet and often impassive, with few able to break around the wall that you built to protect yourself. Not everyone acknowledges you even exist, but you dont really care. As long as you have your close friends by your side, you are right to go. Although they might not voice it, many people long to have your ability to accept change as well as what cant be changed. Dont ever let others bring you down, because you are truly special, and those who have the courage to venture passed your walls of silence will only regret not having tried to befriend you sooner.

Boy/Girl who will sweep you off your feet:
The mysterious boy/girl. The one who no one knows much about. You are attracted to him/her by the secrecy around him/her, and he/she loves how stable and unjudging you are.

Your stone/jewel: Sapphire

Your power: Life. The ability to bring those who have died back to life, as well as bring life back into those who have lost all hope.

Your element: Lunar

A quote that applies to you: "Do not be 'against' anything. Being 'against' weakens you. Be 'for' what you want. Being 'for' empowers you."

What's your inner power? (Girls only sorry. Beautiful anime pictures, lengthy results)
brought to you by Quizilla

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Wow... This result really make me sound like a saint... which I'm certainly not... But I will not say that this result is untrue coz it managed to hit some spots in me... I am really more of a shadow person, and I don't think people notice me at all.. Well, if possible, I would love to be the someone the result seems to hint I am. Coz I really don't mind not having many friends, rather I wish I truly have the ability to "The ability to bring those who have died back to life, as well as bring life back into those who have lost all hope."

For a Friend: Blues

2005-09-25T20:26:00.000+08:00

Hey gal are you still feelin' lonely again?
Hey there are you still feelin' down again?

How I wish I could
Just take away your blues
And make your days shine again

You think you're alone in the dark
You feel no one understands you anymore
You wish you could disappear into the night

I hate to hear you feel like this
I wish I would chase away your blue

Can you feel the warmth from the hidden stars
Can you see friends beyond the darkness waiting
Can you hear the words of love in the silent night

I hate to hear you feel so blue
I wish I would chase away your blue

Hey gal are you still feelin' lonely again?
Hey there are you still feelin' down again?

-------------------------------
I have no idea what this is... song? message? Whatever...
But really, I hope my friend would feel better soon...
I know feeling blue is one thing outsiders can't help but it doesn't mean we can't feel...

You know I hate times like this when you can't do anything to help...
It just shows how helpless we are...
I truly hope that whoever is feeling the blues now could try to face it bravely...
It is really nothing we could do for such cases because the source of blue is from your heart... Until you decide that you should stop feeling that way and try to find a way to change your moods, that blue ain't gonna go away...
Friends are always there to help but sometime we just have to let them in...

TV Show: Reaching For The Stars Full Story

2005-09-23T10:55:00.000+08:00

連續劇《真命天女》故事大綱

http://ent.sina.com.cn 2005年09月22日19:02 新浪娛樂

三個同年同月同日生，出身境遇卻大不相同的女孩，在他們生日這一天，命運之神讓這三人産生了連結，從此展開一段奇妙的故事…

　　這一天，在某高級餐廳裏，周氏企業董事長周建隆幫繼女蕾蕾慶祝生日。對蕾蕾來說，生活就是穿著頂尖名牌，嘗遍各國美食，她不知道什么是憂慮，什么是煩惱，反正天塌下來都有貴爲董事長的繼父頂著。

　　可是就在用餐當中，周建隆突然心臟病發，送到醫院已經不治。繼室周夫人哭的死去活來，蕾蕾則茫然不知所措，單純的她從來不曾經歷這樣的狀況，直到董事長特助梁正浩過來安慰她，蕾蕾才如潰堤般的倒在正浩懷裏傷心的大哭。

　　周董事長突然去世，公司緊急召開董事會討論因應事宜，律師帶來周董事長生前秘密立下的遺囑，董事長早已決定把自己所有股份，過繼給失蹤以久的親生女兒周曉諾，至於周夫人和繼女蕾蕾，只繼承了一棟豪宅和五千萬現金。

　　野心勃勃的副董劉世強，覬覦著董事長的寶座，決定找人冒充失蹤的董事長千金，借著操縱傀儡的方式，來掌控整個公司。他把找人冒充的任務交給了正浩，正浩爲了保住自己的前途只得聽命行事，偶然機會下，他得知了任潔跟周曉諾同年同月同日生，便決定說服任潔來冒充，任潔爲了挽救弟弟小志垂危的生命，只有答應正浩。

　　在正浩安排之下，任潔面見了公司董事，大家看了冒充的任潔，天生就是一副沒氣質模樣，簡直無法置信。周夫人更不相信任潔就是董事長的親生女，她直覺這是劉副董的詭計，但是正浩早已打點好一切，買通了醫生製造假證明，信誓旦旦的說任潔便是董事長的親生女兒！董事們只好先接受事實，委任正浩負責教導任潔熟悉所有公司細節，另外周夫人也假裝善意的接納任潔住進家裏。

　　同一時間，在派出所擔任女警的沈孝柔，好不容易逮到的夜市之狼，竟然被交保出獄，忍無可忍之下找到嫌犯痛打一頓，結果被長官大罵，孝柔一氣之下，索性辭職不幹。孝柔回到家，看著相依爲命有些癡呆的外婆，不禁後悔自己的衝動，可是又拉不下臉回去，便到周氏企業應徵保全工作，擔任冒牌董事長任潔的隨扈。

　　天真的蕾蕾失去繼父，卻沒改變她的作風，對於母親汲汲于爭奪繼父財産的行爲一點興趣也沒有，她對周氏企業唯一在意的，便是暗戀的心上人梁正浩。無奈正浩眼裏只有工作，一直對她保持禮貌客氣的關係。在任潔出現之後，正浩爲了教導任潔熟悉公司事務而忙碌，對蕾蕾似乎更爲疏遠，讓蕾蕾充滿妒意。

　　某次PARTY中，大飯店的小開蕭亞爲是衆家千金矚目的焦點，周夫人也拼命要撮合女兒蕾蕾和亞爲交往，但是亞爲的母親另有所圖，她知道任潔才是周氏企業的繼承人，一心要來個兩家聯姻，把亞爲和任潔湊成一對。不過玩世不恭的亞爲對這些富家女都意興闌珊，趁著大家不注意的時候，偷偷溜出會場。

　　亞爲在飯店外的走道巧遇擔任隨扈的孝柔，愛開玩笑的亞爲一時興起，偷偷走過去，裝成歹徒作勢在孝柔背後低聲說“不要動”，誰知孝柔一個過肩摔，當場讓亞爲吃了個狗吃屎，手臂還被孝柔差點弄到骨折，亞爲吃痛大叫，孝柔也大聲叫著警衛，一陣混亂中，衆人趕來，才知是誤會一場，亞爲也對孝柔酷酷的個性留下深刻印象。

　　孝柔身爲任潔的貼身保鏢，總是和亞爲在各種商務場合巧遇，越不想看到的人偏偏老碰到，孝柔的恰查某樣，反引起亞爲極大興趣，他從來沒見過這樣的女生，竟然無視于他帥哥的外貌和有錢的家世，實在太離奇了，他一定要搞清楚怎么回事，卻在不覺間越陷越深，反倒真的愛上了孝柔。

　　周夫人私底下也沒閑著，她找來了一個私家偵探陳凱，暗中調查任潔的真正身世。陳凱是孝柔的舊情人，兩人都想不到會再度碰面，陳凱對孝柔似仍有留戀，亞爲眼見情敵殺出，更卯起來窮追孝柔…

　　就在陳凱準備把手上探查的資料交給周夫人，卻發生了綁架事件，歹徒綁走了蕾蕾和任潔，隨身保鏢孝柔奮而抵抗卻寡不敵衆，最後也一起綁走，而這一切剛好被陳凱目睹，便偷偷跟著。

　　三個人被綁消息傳到公司，正浩心急之下，自告奮勇的冒險攜帶贖款與歹徒周旋，這時候亞爲也出現，他心系孝柔安危，也堅持參與搭救。就在同時，一路跟蹤而來的陳凱趁隙潛入，偷偷幫三人松綁，然後帶著三個人逃出，結果一陣混亂中，陳凱中彈受重傷，躺在孝柔的懷裏斷氣，孝柔難過的放聲大哭，因爲陳凱是爲了救她而死，衆人見狀都感到鼻酸，對孝柔而言，這一段過往的感情，也傷心的劃下句點。

　　歷經綁架事件後，孝柔對於始終守護著自己的亞爲，也有了不同的看法，開始願意接受亞爲的感情。三個女生的關係也由對立轉爲友好，無時不刻的，三個女生總是嘰嘰喳喳，背著虎視眈眈的周夫人，一起溜出去玩耍，簡直形同親姊妹一般。

　　正浩帶著任潔一步一步學習著公司的事務，任潔以前在各行各業的辛苦曆練，現在反而成了她的資本，表現讓正浩刮目相看，也讓正浩情不自禁的漸漸喜歡上她，覺得這個女孩擁有良善堅毅的本質，令他這個大男人也深深折服。第一次，被稱爲冷血工作狂，從來不對女生動心的正浩，卻對任潔有了真感情。

　　此時小志病危，任潔接到通知待在醫院，正浩跑來陪著任潔，要任潔不要擔心，小志會度過危機的，因爲他聽到姐姐的呼喚，一向裝得很堅強的任潔，再也忍不住對正浩吐露自己未曾告訴別人的心情，她和弟弟相依爲命的感情，正浩對任潔說，如果想哭，就哭吧，任潔哇的哭了出來，連帶著將這幾個月來所承受的孤獨擔憂，一股腦的全發泄出來，正浩溫柔的肩膀成了她最需要的支柱。

　　任潔的弟弟小志終究還是敵不過病魔的折磨而過世，任潔傷心欲絕，正浩情不自禁的擁住他，吐露了愛意，瀕臨崩潰的任潔也坦率跟正浩告白，這些舉動卻被蕾蕾看到，蕾蕾痛心質問著任潔，任潔難過的說曾試著要跟正浩劃清界限，但是卻做不到，任潔懇求蕾蕾的原諒，蕾蕾卻無法接受，兩人好不容易建立的情誼又生變。

　　蕾蕾在家裏接到死去的偵探陳凱同事的電話，說整理他的遺物發現有一包東西要給周夫人。蕾蕾拿到東西後，赫然發現裏面有著任潔的身世資料，原來任潔根本不是周家人，她是個冒牌貨！

　　善良的蕾蕾幾經掙扎，最終還是沒有揭發任潔，但這時候劉副董卻因爲收購股份完成，要求任潔提前離開，並且威脅不得再與正浩見面。任潔難過的掙扎，周氏企業的財産她毫不眷戀，但是她不願意因爲自己而毀了正浩的一生，最後她下了個痛苦的決定，她選擇默默的離開。

　　任潔突然的失蹤，讓劉副董趁機掌控了公司大權，並提拔了有功的正浩擔任總經理。但是正浩沒有任何喜悅，他不解爲何任潔會突然消失，不管如何費盡心機的尋找，任潔就像從人間蒸發一樣的毫無蹤影，令正浩傷心欲絕。

　　在劉副董和周夫人聯合安排之下，正浩跟蕾蕾訂婚，這是蕾蕾日日企盼的結局，但是她卻感受不到絲毫喜悅，因爲她看的出來，正浩心中思念的還是任潔，雖然成功的從任潔手上搶回正浩的人，卻拉不回他的心。

　　蕾蕾有些彷徨無措，直到心直口快的孝柔提醒她，才讓她大夢初醒。孝柔告訴蕾蕾終究得不到正浩的真愛，勉強在一起反而讓三個人都不幸福。蕾蕾決定解除婚約，成全正浩和任潔，自己則買了機票，決定遠赴法國學習餐飲，重新開始一切。

　　一個偶然的巧合，周家的老管家發現了孝柔竟然才是真正的周曉諾，周夫人在孝柔和正浩的協助之下，把作威作福的劉副董給趕出公司。一切塵埃落定，但是對正浩而言，他日夜盼望著能再跟任潔見面，卻一再地失望了。

　　孝柔跟亞爲的交往終於得到蕭母的認同，兩人要結婚了，婚禮這一天，賓客雲集，就在最後一刻，任潔也來了，她再也忍不住的跟正浩相擁在一起，兩人互許永不分離。

　　三年後，蕾蕾歸國開的餐廳即將開幕，蕾蕾決定親自下廚，爲昔日的好友製作一桌拿手的法國菜。任潔帶著正浩第一個來到，緊接著，一台黑色大轎車停在門口，已經扶正爲周氏企業董事長的孝柔和夫婿亞爲下車和衆人打招呼，大家圍成一桌嘻嘻鬧鬧話家常，舉杯共祝著這段奇妙又戲劇化的情誼…

~全劇終~

----------------------------------

Note: Hmmm... So far the storyline is what I expected, with Hebe as the Lead, so I can't exactly say I'm disappointed. But somehow, I was wishing for something more. I have just seen the preview and it is alright... so I guess it's a not bad show... haha~ Sheez the fans would kill me for saying this...

Thoughts: Do you really know?

2005-09-22T22:44:00.000+08:00

I think sometimes being my friends really suck...
It is not that I'm a bad friend...
Rather, it is how I tend to remember what they say...

Sometimes they could make a comment about anything,
And I'll never say anything to them...
But deep down I would start to question myself about their remarks...

Just a couple of days ago, I went out with a friend for lunch and we managed to meet one of those "superstar" idols (according to my friend), and I really had no idea who that guy was. But thankfully my friend was able to give me some information about that guy.

I know I must have looked like the world's greatest fool by not knowing all these. since people my age are now so crazy over Idols, Superstar Contests, but really.. I just see them as a trend... A copycat trend which is repeatedly shown in many countries! No offence to any idol fan but I really think those shows, as much as they did started out to give chances to normal folks like us, they are now no more than silly media playouts and pretty show for everyone else... Oh wait... I'm going out of topic here....

Okay, so my friend explained to me about that guy but she ended with a cutting remark, "So dao one, lucky never make it to the final, also can't sing well".

That is a fairly reasonable comment for someone who has seen the show I guess, but what really got me thinking is the use of the word dao.

I wonder how do you judge whether the guy is truely dao or proud?
By looking at him? I sure hope not coz I had been cast off many a time too like this.

I think what I gonna say next is going to sound cheesy... Haha~

Well, I know one singer who suffers from this cast off too... When she first appeared to the media, many were ready to write her off as a bad attuide singer. But what did she do? All she ever did was not smiling, unlike those other pretty singers we were so used to seeing...

Was that what defines dao?

Just by not smiling like a crazy pretty doll?
Was it even wrong to be true to yourself?

She didn't smile like a pretty doll because she is not just another doll...
She didn't smile like a pretty doll because she has more thoughts to share...
She didn't smile like a pretty doll because she wants to be heard...

And she was the most honest person I ever met...
She is kind, playful, friendly, smart with a bit blur...
But no one bothered enough to really talk to her...
It was just so much easier to peg her off as another bad rocker...

When you see the whole picture, you'll feel so wrong...
But until you see the whole picture, you would stay hold onto the silly impression you have and continue to mistake people...

Sad, but that's how life goes...
Funny how we could afford to give second chances to people around us,
But rarely would we ever give strangers any benefit of doubt...

The law says: Innocent Until Proven,
However I think hardly anyone follows it...
Do you?

米米筆跡3 ：我是「正港」新加坡人

2005-09-22T22:20:00.000+08:00

也忘了從何時開始，人們對我一直會有一種很錯誤的想法。
平日管捷運站的管理異族叔叔、學校講師、初次相見的同學和朋友，
他們都會不約而同地給我定了一個初步印象。

他們很理所當然地以爲我就是外國朋友，甚至連底細也不查一下，
就直問「臺灣好玩嗎？來到新加坡還習慣嗎？你的英語說得還不錯耶！」

這錯誤的觀念常常讓我哭笑不得，更無言以對。

我一直都是新加坡人，家人也是，沒什麽混血的case，
而全家唯一會被人誤會是有外國血統的人也只有我一個。
這一點常常讓我的家人啼笑皆非。

不過昨天只因爲嘗試了臺灣的「雞汁排骨面」，
讓我找到了屬於我的新加坡身份。。
哈哈~真的很好笑。

原來就算我外表常常被人誤會，説話口音被指不像本地人，
更不在乎我根本聼不懂也不會說新加坡人獨有的新加坡式英語，
但不管怎樣我就是道道地地在新加坡出生長大的小孩，
這一點是怎麽也不可以改變的一個事實。

那一碗泡面吃起來的感覺陌生得讓我覺得很不適應，
雖然新鮮的外觀和名字的確吸引了我的注意，
但在我的心裏卻怎麽也不及一包簡簡單單在新加坡製作的雞湯面。

這碗雞湯面或許沒有特殊的料理，但吃進肚子裏，那再熟悉不過的味道卻是我無法忘記的。

就像新加坡那樣，看起來並沒有其他亞洲國家那樣精彩刺激，
但她卻是很平靜地守候著我們不定期的歸來。

我愛簡單的雞湯面，
我愛平靜的新加坡。。。

此時我很確定，
在我的心裏我是一個「正港」新加坡人！

米米筆跡 2 : 中秋節的溫暖

2005-09-19T16:45:00.000+08:00

昨天是中秋節，但很奇怪的是我竟然一點也不知道。。。

我真的以爲前天才是中秋，
不過昨晚在路上看到小孩點蠟燭玩火時，忍不住牽動了嘴角，會心一笑了起來。

雖然今年會選擇點蠟燭玩火的人少了，但是從他們眼中所散發的那種天真依舊。。。
那是一種在黑夜中看著渺小的火光所給于的一種安全感。。。

就在看到那小孩滿足地笑了的瞬間，我再次墜入回憶中。

小時候的我最期待中秋節了。。。
但這份期待並不是因爲美味的月餅，又或者美麗的燈籠。。。

我喜歡點蠟燭，在遊樂園擺滿五顔六色的小蠟燭，然後一一地點燃他們。。。
在那瞬間，就算黑夜再黑，四周在寧靜，
只要點上了蠟燭就會自然有一種溫軟流入心裏。。。

而很多人，不管是大人小孩，都會給這瞬間的光芒所吸引。。。

讓我最自豪的是，看到他們眼中所散發的滿足和欣賞。

Thoughts: Melancholy

2005-09-19T16:14:00.000+08:00

DEPRESSION
This is a big word...
How do you know that you're feeling one?

By Feeling depressed and unwanted?
I have a friend who was talking to me about another friend who kept believing she has depression. She was saying about how that friend was feeling alone and unwanted.

Was that really depression?

I know that the D-word is common but somehow I felt it is over-used as another excuse to mope around and snap at people who care about you, or worse to seek attention.

I mean, I too, fell into the act of pretending lost and hopeless when I was younger. It was easy for me to slip into such thinking since I was always alone, at hone, or in school. It wasn't on purpose but I've learned to tune out people with a mask. I still care for everyone else in my life but I simply don't care about myself. It was to the extend that I don't mind dropping dead the next second, but I would care if I see anyone getting hurt. It seems that my emotions are only acting for others. I cry when I see a sad movie, or even reading about some strangers... But for me, I feel nothing, blood, cuts and wounds on myself don't even matters anymore...

It was scary to a sense that I would start questioning myself about my presence. It seems that I'm just a shadow some sort, not at all living. Sometimes I would pinch myself just to make sure I feel something... It has the same reasoning as cutting yourself.. but I never tried that. It was not my style to be drama... That would go somewhere along the line of attracting attention... rather than feeling down.

That I believe is depression...

For now...
I don't know, I mean I have always have a sense of Melancholy within me...

Not Depression...

It is simply a grey feeling, Feeling restless and aimless....
Just like the sky which is about to rain but never...
Because even rainning seems to much of an effort to make...
No rain to wash away your sadness, No sun to shine your day...
It is when everything is quiet and seemsto catch a tinge of grey...

That is Melancholy.

Songs: S.H.E solo Intro

2005-09-18T13:35:00.000+08:00

Selina 『管不着』人物背景故事説明

Selina在劇中苦戀總經理梁正浩，但對方後來卻愛上Ella，讓Selina傷心，「管不著」由陶晶瑩填的歌詞，令失戀者感同身受，單在試唱時就讓Selina淚流不止呢。

--------------------------------

Hebe 『摩天輪』人物背景故事説明

Hebe在劇中則是和飯店小開蕭亞為有段甜蜜的愛情，因此歌曲「摩天輪」雖是離別的歌曲但帶著濃濃愛意，難捨難分的甜甜的味道。

--------------------------------

Ella 『只是當時』人物背景故事説明

而Ella的「只是當時」其實講的並非是他和男主角的愛情，而是劇中她和重病的弟弟之間的感觸，也是首感傷的歌曲，也是Ella在劇中付出最多感情的人，這首歌很寧靜，是以往S.H.E不會有的曲風，有種沉靜在夜的感覺，帶著淡淡的哀傷！

Picture: Depression

2005-09-18T00:50:00.000+08:00

Well, I just did this picture coz I was somewhat feelin' down...
But it's jus one of those No Reason sadness...

TV Guide: Story Outline of Reaching For The Stars (真命天女）

2005-09-17T23:10:00.000+08:00

真命天女劇情大綱

真命天女
三個同年同月同日生出生境遇卻大不相同的女孩在他們生日這一天命運之神讓這人產生了聯結彼此展開一段奇妙的故事

故事大綱

故事是這樣開始滴~~~
在某高級餐廳裡周氏企業董事長周建隆正幫繼女蕾蕾慶祝著生日對蕾蕾來說穿著頂尖名牌的生活就是他的全部他不知道什麼是煩惱反正天塌下來都有貴為董事長的繼父頂著

可是就在用餐當中周建隆心臟病發送醫不治律師帶來周董事長生前秘密立下的遺囑原來董事長早已決定把自己所有股份過繼給失蹤已久的親生女兒周曉諾至於周夫人和繼女蕾蕾只繼承了一棟豪宅和五千萬現金野心勃勃的副董劉世強肖想著董事長的寶座決定找人冒充失蹤的董事長千金他得知了任潔與周曉諾同年同月同日生便決定說服任潔來冒充同一時間在派出所擔任女警的沈孝柔好不容易逮到的夜市之狼竟然被交保出獄忍無可忍之下找到嫌犯痛打一頓結果被長官大罵孝柔一氣之下索性辭職不幹孝柔回到家看著相依為命有些痴呆的外婆不禁後悔自己的衝動可是又拉不下臉回企便到周氏企業應徵保全工作擔任冒牌董事長任潔的隨扈某次PARTY中大飯店的小開蕭亞為是眾家千金矚目的焦點周夫人也拼命要撮合女兒蕾蕾和亞為交往但是亞為的母親另有企圖他知道任潔才是周氏企業的繼承人一心要來個兩家聯姻把亞為和任潔湊成一對不過玩世不恭的亞為對這些富家女都意興闌珊趁著大家不注意的時候偷偷溜出會場亞為在飯店外的走道巧遇擔任隨扈的孝柔愛開玩笑的亞為一時興起偷偷走過去裝成歹徒作勢在孝柔背後說不要動誰知孝柔一個過肩摔當場讓亞為摔了個狗吃屎手臂還被孝柔差點弄到骨折亞為因痛大叫孝柔也大聲呼叫警衛一陣混亂中眾人趕來才知誤會一場

亞為也對孝柔酷酷的個性留下深刻的印象周夫人私下找來了一個私家偵探陳凱暗中調查任潔真正的身世陳凱是孝柔的舊情人兩人都想不到會再度碰面陳凱對孝柔似乎仍有留戀亞為眼見情敵殺出便卯起來窮追孝柔.

蕭亞為(陳至愷飾)某度假村大飯店的少東大帥哥一個個性熱情不拘小節憑著外在的好條件與自身的小聰明從小到大做什麼事都無往不利交女朋友更是手到擒來屢戰屢勝

沈孝柔(HEBE 飾)雖然個子瘦小看來弱不禁風但生起氣來爆發力十足非常有正義感的他頗具俠女風格不但是柔道黑帶高手還示警校第一名畢業唯一的罩門是愛情不愛假仙不會撒驕又不喜歡裝笨的個性使得他在情場上老吃悶虧最後乾脆死心放棄

任潔(ELLA 飾)個性善良憨厚大而化之的外表下隱藏著一顆細膩易感的女孩子心父母早逝的他從小就養成吃苦當作吃補的堅毅個性一天可以兼三份工舉凡送PIZZA 修車推銷員擺地攤....樣樣都來很有表演模仿天份常在苦悶時自娛娛人

周心蕾(SELINA 飾)繼父是某高科技公司的董事長美麗優雅又有品味的嬌嬌女有時尚派對和各大媒體的寵兒並未自家公司產品當代言人雖然貴為董事長千金卻對家族企業毫無興趣每天編織著浪漫的愛情夢他心目中的白馬王子便是英俊瀟灑的梁正浩

梁正浩(郭彥均飾)外表俊帥風度翩翩的青年才俊在周氏企業集團擔任老闆特助為人拘謹冷漠習慣帶著保護色乍看是個冷血工作狂但內心深處仍可望擁有赤子般的真情至性

米米筆跡:1 燈籠

2005-09-17T21:38:00.000+08:00

如如老大，如你所願的，我終于用中文來打一篇『部落』給你看了~哈哈~ 有夠講義氣了吧？

今天真得有點無聊~ 在回來的路上看到很多小孩提燈籠，有點意外。
想不到，只是稍微地大了點，竟然就會和童年脫離了關係。
還記得以前『中秋佳節』就是我能『光明正大』地玩火的時候，因爲我對於電池燈籠一點興趣也沒有。

雖然它們的外觀是五彩繽紛，遠遠看起來就像是夜城的霓虹燈，
但是就算再喜歡這亮麗的外觀，縂覺得這種燈籠少了『人氣』。。。
我一直覺得那些燈籠只是一味的好看，一點也沒有樂趣。。。
雖會吐泡泡，有音樂，一閃閃的，很讓人眼前一亮，
但是覺得缺少了人們的參與感。。。。

紙製燈籠就不同了。。。
你必須要從買蠟燭、放入、點燃、慢慢小心翼翼地提起。。
這一個步驟都需要親力親為，年紀小的還可以和爸媽有互動。。。
提紙製燈籠不單只是限於現在使用電池燈籠時的互相比較~
它更考小孩的耐性和技巧，學會怎麽去維持自己的燈籠，不讓它燒起來~
就算燒起來了，大家也只是大笑幾聲，覺得明亮的火苗也只是一種氣氛~

可惜啊~ 現在轉眼看看小孩手中的燈籠，雖美卻沒有人情味，讓我非常懷舊~
縂覺得這個年代變了~

大人因爲賺多錢了，會寵壞孩子更希望向人們炫耀。
而小孩也變得奢侈了，心機和好勝心也會更強，學會互相比較和排斥排擠，
少了原本單純和朋友提燈籠遊玩的感覺。。

真有點可笑，一個簡單的燈籠竟然能看出城市人的心態了~
哎~我懷念小時候用紙製燈籠玩蠟燭親手點亮花園的感覺。。。

Song: 只是當時（Ella陳嘉樺主唱）

2005-09-17T21:12:00.000+08:00

Lyric:

忽然間心老了
連微笑也苦了
而你遠得讓我懂了天涯是什麽

Picture: Angels on the Moon

2005-09-14T23:12:00.000+08:00

Latest S.H.E photo for their new SoundTrack, releasing on 28th Sep 05...

Thoughts: Judging By the Cover

2005-09-14T16:47:00.000+08:00

Have you ever heard of the old line:

Do not Judge A Book By Its Cover?

I had many times and do heed the words... But really, how many do?

Let me start off this with a introduction from one of my fanfiction character...

你可以說她面無表情，也可以說她冷酷，但是千萬不要誤會她臉臭。因爲她真的只是無意的。也不知道是不是上輩子欠了老天爺什麽，到了這一輩子，要那麽被玩閙。無論怎麽嘗試，她的五官綜合起來就會營造一種『大便臉』的感覺，常常讓她苦不堪言。如果你叫她形容她自己，她一定會覺得自己很無辜，明明就是一個天真善良的好女生，但是老是被人家誤會。

是臉的關係嗎？她原本以爲自己長得不差，端端正正的，不是什麽絕世美女，但至少還不錯看。可是在開始在社會上工作時，她恍然發現自己是多麽的錯。沒錯，她是長得蠻漂亮的，只是老天爺在創造她時，忽略了一點很重要的成功基因。他給了她一張漂亮卻冰冷的臉，讓大家都不敢接近她。

這個遺失的成功基因就是『人緣』。

一開始她還會想要解釋，只是現在時間依舊，她也已經漸漸習慣了冷漠，而那顆原本熱切的心，早就因爲被希望遺棄了，開始凍結了起來。現在的她學會不聞不問了，因爲無論怎麽用心去解釋，要誤會的人始終還是會選擇誤會。

Can you guess which idol was to be fitted into this character? Do tell me if you can guess it...
(Hint Hint: The one of the singers of the song you are listening to on the Blog.)

I remember a friend, XJ who once told me,
"Do you realised that each time you write a story, you are indirectly sharing your views and feelings about some facts in life? I like your stories because they make me think about how things are and could have been. It's honest."

Well How true was that? I have really no answers for that. When I write something, I'm usually guided by my feelings. I have no idea what I write at all... Sometimes my own words surprised me even. It was as though someone else took over my body and wrote all that stuff... Funny right?

Well, this time when I wrote the stuff above, I was reminded again of myself actually. I just can't get the memory of how my ex-secondary schoolmate of 2 years actually told me that, "you know, even though I know who you are for 2 years in class but I felt that I never knew you."

It sucks big time... To have a classmate to come up to you on the last day of school telling you that. What made it worse was his last words; "I thought you're real proud and can't be bothered with losers like us coz you're one of the smart ones in the class."

If I was not hurt before, I was really hurt when he said that.

I asked myself honestly, had I ever been acting like an airhead?
And was I even as smart as he made me out to be? I don't study hard at all, just the usual lazybones but hey I do my work at least and stayed out of trouble. That does not define smart, does it? Okay, sure I'm the top 5 students of my class but hack, I'm in an average class earning mainly straight Bs! In short, I'm an average student. I was really bothered by his words and that kept me thinking for days.

What did I do wrong to earn the image of a cold freaky smarty pants?

It wasn't long when I finally got my answers...

Damn... It was just that I never talked to him... Was it my fault to begin with? God.. he was at least 4-5 metres away from my seat, right at the end of the class!

You know I do think of myself as somewhat friendly, I like to befriend people and mix around. But there's still a limit... Yes, I could have walked over to his place, but for what? I mean he's no loner with his own click of friends and I have mine... Two totally different groups with nothing in common at all. I mean if he's a loner, I would have appoach him to let him join us. But he seems just fine with his group. Not to mention the fact that we never knew each other.

So it really came to me as a big shock that someone who didn't know me could so easily paint an image of me. How did he judge me? By looks? Maybe... Afterall I am not one who smiles and laugh often, coz I like to think and dream... By personality? Since I'm quiet most of the time listening to my friends talk... But I could be lievly and playful at times... Or even he imagine it all?

I really don't know... But it seems people do judge people randomly... At least that ex-classmate of mine seems to think it's okay to pass me off as someone without knowing me....

How many times in life, have you feel that way too? Like people who say they understand you but really don't? How about getting misunderstood without a chance even to explain yourself... I do have them... In fact sometimes I felt more truthful to my net friends than to my real friends. Coz even if they haven't seen me, but they do know me and never stop to help, teach or even advise me when I'm in doubt... Maybe because they don't have the chance to judge by the cover, that's how they got to the real person within that many in real life can't. Interesting twist of life, isn't it?

Song: S.H.E 星光（偶像劇：真命天女主題曲）

2005-09-14T11:55:00.000+08:00

星光

啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦
啦啦啦啦啦啦啦
啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦
啦啦啦啦啦啦啦

相約來到這世上卻在途中失散
走的路是否一樣
看著同一片豔陽我忽然有預感
久違的陌生人會遇上

也許是你笑的弧度跟我很像
也許是因為守護的星座和我一樣
也許是漫長的黑夜特別孤單
才會背靠著背一起等天亮

黑夜如果不黑暗美夢又何必嚮往破曉會是堅持的人最後獲得的獎賞
黑夜如果太黑暗我們就閉上眼看希望若不熄滅就會亮成心中的星光

啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦
啦啦啦啦啦啦啦

上帝佈置的悲傷和分配的陽光你和我是否一樣
擁抱同一種信仰我忽然有預感我們會是彼此的星探

也許是你笑的弧度跟我很像
也許是因為守護的星座和我一樣
也許是漫長的黑夜特別孤單
才會背靠著背一起等天亮

黑夜如果不黑暗美夢又何必嚮往破曉會是堅持的人最後獲得的獎賞
黑夜如果太黑暗我們就閉上眼看希望若不熄滅就會亮成心中的星光

啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦啦
啦啦啦啦啦啦啦

Test 2: What Kind of Person are You?

2005-09-13T02:07:00.000+08:00

Your personality is that of a true day-dreamer.
Somehow, you're not too satisfied with reality,
and so you take it upon yourself to find it in
your dreams. You're honest, a bit random, and
are a great friend. You can sometimes, well a
lot of the time have mood swings, which confuse
the people close to you, but that's okay. As
long as you have great friends, a great
personality, and a great outlook on life,
you'll be fine. You've got people around you
who are willing to keep you up when you fall
down, which you have many times. You have great
talents as a writer, especially when you write
fantasy. You are the dreamer, the sarcastic
one, and the one with great come-backs. Keep on
dreaming, and you're sure to have an extreme,
life-it-to-the-fullest, Grade-A life!

What Kind of Person are You? [beautiful anime pics, and lengthy details, as usual!]
brought to you by Quizilla

Test: Why are you crying?

2005-09-13T01:50:00.000+08:00

You're crying because you're confused. You're going
through a lot of changes and you don't know
whether to be happy or upset. You don't know
what to do or who to trust. You're afraid to
move on, but you're also afriad to stay where
you are. Sometimes you just wish you could
disappear.

Why are you crying? (beautiful pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

Note:
Wow... It's so true... I mean I really do feel lost at the moment... And I did wish I could just disappear.. Geez~

Thoughts: What a tiring day.....

2005-09-13T01:06:00.000+08:00

I think I'm crazy.... Really!

I mean, who the hell would do what I did yesterday?
Didn't I said how I was thinking about visiting the library? Ya, I did visit them alright... I went to 3 libraries in one day for that BOE series...

Geez... I've never been that loyal to any writer... So, Christopher Golden, you've my first... I think most people my age relate Chris with Buffy series and Angel.. Demo really, no matter how "out tune" you guys think of me with the teen culture... I'm not sorry to say, I've never seen one in my life... Heard of? Yes, but watch or read? Never... But, I do believe that Chris is damn good a writer... So is his brother in INK, Rick... They are good men... coz they wrote BOE .... haha~

Okay, here's the report... I can't get the whole set but I've the latest release, Throat Culture.. I've just finished reading it too....

Finally got this book off the local library...

mental question to self: why doesn't the local store sells it?

To think I had to run 3 libraries to get hold off the BOE series... still missing Skin Deep and Meets the Eye though... But I've reserved for them~

After reading TC and was wondering one question... The whole "flu-like" virus thingy reminds me of SARS in Asia during early-mid 2003. Maybe it's just that I'm from Singapore, one of the places which was hit by the virus...

But some words really brought back memories.... And I could really relate to how Jenna felt, you know the part that you're glad it's over and your family is safe again, but you know out there someone else lost their family... It's not much of a happily after all, but somehow you feel grateful and sad...

That book though not the most exciting case Jenna has, at least there is no crazy killer after her... Oh wait... there was the last part where the killer tried to poison her... Not the usual "Sharp weapons or Gun shooting or rip your heart out scene" but well... there was still an attempt on her life... (I know, sad right?)

Then, really... The part that really eats me up is how Jenna's live has been ruined.. I mean she does has the "problem" of coming in the face of Danger... But hey she tried to keep away... It spooked her so much that it has made her believe that she is the cause that brings hurt and dead to her friends... and how she tries to keep away from them and the fact that people keep away from her....

That part really hurts... I hate Chris and Rick for that... But they are right, who in the right mind would want to endanger themselves? Hasn't there been a saying that goes "Ones for itself?" The world is not prefect, and life isn't fair.. even in the world of fiction, there has to be some facts... Happy, Sad, Angry, Betray, they are part of our imperfect unfair world, we just have to learn to accept, counter and do better...

If you ask me how I'll do, actually I don't mind putting my friends and family before me... If I ever have a friend like Jenna, I would want her to stop blaming herself.. She's a great girl and I appreciate her effort to find truth even if it costs her life... Well, if I could talk to Jenna, I would encourage her but at the same time look out for her... Danger or no danger, if my friend believes, I'll gladly support (unless I truly feel that something is wrong.)

Body of Evidence Series 1 and 2

2005-09-12T20:53:00.000+08:00

Alright, this is book No: 1, Body Bags...
Cae Plot: Subjects get violently insane and then drop dead... (Guess Why?)Oh ya, and not to mention seeing your father's best friend behave as above and drop dead in front of ya. How Cool is that? (Bad joke)

Book 2: Thief of Hearts... No puns involved even if there is really romances inside, coz this thief really steal your heart and eat it... Gross? Ya really, then imagine going to work and finding your best friend's corpse on the metal table in midst for autopsy...

-------------------------------------

Okay here's book 1 and 2 plots... I have to read the others to tell you guy more.. But really the picture is not pretty at all~ Some of my friends thinks I'm crazy reading these books... Maybe they are right but somehow, I just love how explaining things, even those strangest happenings with modern science and guesswork~ It's neat~

Picure:Ella and Qiang Qiang

2005-09-12T20:48:00.000+08:00

Just sharing this picture with you all~
Personally, I think it is cute.... especially Qiang Qiang (薔薔 aka Ella's doggie~）
Okay, I've added some wordings to it for fun~ But hey, it's cool~

Just for the record, if anyone thinks that I have broken into Ella's house for this picture, I gonna say you're so wrong.. It's shared by Ella herself...

Harry Potter.... Talkings and Thoughts

2005-09-12T01:39:00.000+08:00

Okay, still on the HP topic...

I don't know you all think about the books but personally I think I read too much into the book~ Quoting my friend, "You Think Too Much!"

But hey, we only have one brain and it doesn't hurt to use it, considering we normally use only like 5% of our brain power at most?!

Harry Potter:
Pretty much the type O Hero but kinda clueless too~ Merely a half blood but rich and powerful... But not my fave type of hero... really... He's too self-centred in a manner that somehow put me off... Like "I carry the world on my shoulders so leave me alone to decide" which is true but his reaction to it could be better... But at the same time I do think he is a sweet guy... haha~

Ron Weasley:
Well, at first I don't really like him coz he can be so hurtful at times. But hack, he turns out to be a real loyal and great friend... I think his weakness would be jealousy and hot temper... Then again hey, you'll only get jealous when you appreciate the values...

Besides, I think many of us have jealousy as one of our weakness no matter how we play down it... The more we hide it, the more untruthful we are... Ron's desire for attention can be explained easily, coming from a big family and poor... He may just feel that he's weaker... Especially in the trio when Harry is the hero and Hermione is the brain, he has to be the loyal sidekick... which can be a blow to one's ego at times... For the case of Ron, I think many felt his ways too, feeling left out and useless... more like a background to everyone... But hey, look at Ron, he has his good points and plays them well... I think Harry respect him more than he appreciate Hermione~

Hermione Granger:
Okay, being the only female, she does has my attention... (Not to mention the fact that I'm a sucker for smart people haha~) Many a time Hermione is said to be the smartest witch of her age, but sometime I do wonder how true... Many a time we use SMART as an excuse for her achievements...

But really, I think among the three, I think she faces the most problems. First, being muggle-born, female, it somehow remind me of race and sex tension in everywhere... Muggle-born or Mud-blood as Draco likes to say, happens to be the worst kind in the magicial world. Now picture the blacks and how much unfair treatments they face even to these days...

Now at the same time, somehow there is still people unwilling to accept that women can do their job well and all~ By adding the two real world fact, you get the picture of a black woman trying hard to earn respect of people... Now turn back to HP world, you'll see Hermione trying to be the best and shutting up people like Draco... At that point I do admire her for that and also her willingness to help her friends...

But that does not mean she's prefect, as much I do hope she is... haha~ But something she can rub people in the wrong way, even me... I mean, she meant well but the way she acts and says turn out to be real bossy.... Well, no one is prefect afterall, you'll have to learn to live with the faults~

Harry Potter New Movie: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

2005-09-12T01:19:00.000+08:00

Okay, I'm a not so much love fan but still I'm a fan~ Though I really don't like how the book is going... but hey, the movie is cool! I have watch the last 3, which made me went for the books~ Not bad at all~ So here's the fourth Movie~

Showing On: 2005-11-18

Staring: Daniel Radcliffe、Emma Watson、Rupert Grint

PS: As much respect and love I have the golden trio and the actors and actress~ I have a burning question dieing to ask... Do they look 14 to you? Really! I know kids these days grow up fast but.... somehow not that fast right? Or is it just the difference between Asian growth rate and Europe growth rate?

http://tw.movie.yahoo.com/mstory.html?t=movie&id=1371

Thoughts: Book~

2005-09-12T00:58:00.000+08:00

Gee... Have been out these couple of days...
But for the day before, I'm actually excited over a book~
Man, am I turning into a bookworm? Sure hope not~

But I was reading this series, BOE （Body of Evidence)...
It can be kinda gross but haha I just love the solving problem part~
It's kinda like Nancy Drew but with a medical twist and a collage background~

Jenna Blake is definately one freshman I envy but at the same time pity...

By the way, I think I should add her famous quote here~
Hmmm.... Going to the library later to hunt those books out~ Hopefully they have the new release ...

"The first day at college, my professor dropped dead. The second day, I assisted at his autopsy. Let's hope I don't have to go through four years of this . . ."

-Jenna Blake

原創故事：星星命運世界

2005-09-08T12:30:00.000+08:00

科學家說星星是發光的原石，有人說星星代表人們的生命。

因爲當一顆星熄滅時,也就是一個人的終點。

可是對她而言，星星卻代表了命運。

因爲星星都是距離她很遠，卻又老愛在她的面前一閃一閃地提醒她它的存在。
她說那是因爲命運縂選擇，距離你忽近忽遠地刻意諷刺和嘲笑人類的無助感。

有人可以瞬間贏得全世界，也有人同時墜入無間地獄，
世界每一分每一秒都在變，人類每一個抉擇看似渺小，但卻一步步走向滅亡末日。

我們都貪圖世間榮華富貴，有無止境地把佔地球資源。
那年的我們無憂無慮生活，今後的我們提心吊膽等待，
等的會是一個重生的奇跡，還是一個快速的人生終結？

她在思考這些問題的時候，仍不忘擡頭仰望那片星空。
突然她恍然大悟地落下淚，原來這問題的答案很簡單。
隨著城市夜間亮起霓虹燈，頭上的星空也漸漸轉暗了。

人們已經漸漸看不到星空，更找不到命運的一切安排。
等到星空完全消失的一刻，命運不再我們嘲笑我們時，
也許就是滅亡末日的開始，也就是人類舉手認輸之時。

Note:
okay, it sounds bad... But I was in one of those dark moods when I wrote this story... But really, I do feeling that we are not doing enough for earth and all round us, there's war, confusion and problems. Everywhere you turn, there has to be problem somewhere. It totally burn me up but I feel so hopeless. Haha~ Oh well, just writing about it for a thought.... maybe it'll change somehow~

Picture....

2005-09-07T13:41:00.000+08:00

Okay, I'm hopeless... haha~ I know some friends are going to say "WHAT? Ya still watchin that show?" Yes I am even though it is like the fourth or fifth times... No, it's not that I really love the show, well, at least Part 3 is not my fave... haha~ But really, how many shows are there can show such a innocent pure love? Sometimes I really admire Ma Xiao Ling and Kuang Tian You... I mean now, where can you find a love like theirs? They are so selfless to a stage that I almost can't believe it... I do wish I could be silly like them, but there's no one for me to get silly over with.. haha..

The trust and belief in each other are so strong that makes me wanna cry sometimes. I wonder would I ever experience something like that?

Ma Xiao Ling is my fave character so far... No it is not because of her 42cm beautiful long legs in case you're wondering... I happen to like her character. Funny? Well if I'm watchin the beginning of Vampire and you come along and tell me I'll grow to like Ma, I'll book myself a one-way ticket to Mental Hospital right away. Coz who can like someone like her? Rude, self-centred and money lover etc..

But is it really the true her? As I learned more about her, I begin to wonder are people really like that? Do they tend to hide their true self like Ma? Do they keep getting misunderstood and have few friends? How well do we understand each other really? Do we all put on masks like her?

Then I realised we do... In someways I've learned to hide myself like her, not wanting others' concerns. When my mum trys to be concern, I pushed her away like Ma does with her bad remarks and thoughtless comments. I know sometimes I've hurt her but really, I just don't want her to worry about me... Being a single parent is hard enough on her, I just don't want to add on anything to her.Around others, I would pick silly and mindless topic to chat, never letting anyone close to my heart. I give my trust easily to anyone but I just don't give my heart at all~ It's funny how I've become without me knowing...

Thoughts 2: Interview

2005-09-07T11:49:00.000+08:00

I went to an interview yesterday...

It was really no biggie coz it's a must to get a job. But I was stunned by the question and answer session. No, it's not that I did badly or did I do well...

It was the other interviewees that stunned me.

Hack, Here I am just a fresh new kid in the block, they are all experienced oldies.
Not to mention they scare me more than the interviewer... So serious that a smile would kill them~ Then again I maybe wrong coz they did smile at the interviewer for a second... hmmm~

When I say the kid is a fresh, Do REACT~ (O_O)
Now GLARE! The oldies looked at the kid as though the kid is an alien~

Oh ya, just as if being a fresh kid doesn't hurt, another fresh just shoot a question, "so which uni did you come from?"

Oh great, really... I'm nobody of important... Really
I'm just a tiny poly kid... Please spare me the eyeroll~

I'm not hurt if anything but for 100th and one time, I wish I was somebody else...
Well, not all high and mighty jus aslight better kid... Fresh but at least not a rollover...

Song: 平凡之歌

2005-09-07T11:38:00.000+08:00

平凡之歌

有的時候你會忽然　想從人群中走開　你甚至對明天的世界
都缺乏安全感　是寂寞吧　是寂寞吧　自己如此平凡　也許是一種被忽略已久
沮喪　星光下許過願望　希望自己能不一樣　你多不甘心永遠平凡
卻沒有答案　（為什麼答案）　有時後你會這麼想　在眼前的世界上
如果少了一個你存在　是否會不一樣　隨日出啊　隨日落啊
自己依然平凡　幾乎失去了好奇明天　模樣　OH～　日子週而復始循環
OH～　日子週而復始循環

Note:
I was listening to this song on the bus and suddenly this song means so much to me. Don't we all always dream to be somebody instead be Ordinary? The O word makes a funny taste in your mouth somehow, yes even though it is not a swearing word.

Now, this song has an interesting background... It is not a hit song or radio friendly even... But yet it won the hearts of musicians and producers. This song was later named the top 10 singles of 2001 in Taiwan. Sounds unbelievable but it's true..

Song: Hello God

2005-09-05T19:41:00.001+08:00

Singer: Tanya Chua
Lyric/Music: Tanya Chua

Hello God, it's me.Are you awake?
I know that its late yes, I'm aware
But can you come over to my house
and sit by the sofa close right next to me?
Really need some of your company
I've been thinking about alot of things
How I've been betrayed and been so used
How I'm sick of trying, sick of lying
I'm tired of crying my eyes out sore
I don't wanna do that anymore.

Can you explain
how in the world did I turn out to be this way?
Can you explain
how in the world did things turn out to be this way?
It's easier to find someone to blame
yet it comes with a heavy price to pay
Cos in doing so I've lost my way
I've lost my sense of self, of who I am
Now it's me that I don't understand

Can you explain
how in the world did I turn out to be this way?
Can you explain
how in the world did things turn out to be this way?

Don't know why.
I'm on this Earth...
Hollo God...Are you still there?

Note:
This is one of my fave songs coz it's honest and speaks out on my fears...
I think it's not just me but many too, but somehow we tend to hide our emotions and refuse to face them... The things we do, we no longer know why we do... It's what I call an honest song because it helps to remind us of who we are and not let us slip away into the darkness. So it is kinda of a wake up call for our soul~

Thoughts: Self-Intro?

2005-09-05T19:41:00.000+08:00

Gee... I never knew how hard it is to introduce yourself to air... haha~ It's true, I mean now while I'm typing, who else will be reading beside me and air? Okay, jokes aside... Well, I think the best way to start off would be to include a test on myself~

I think it is quite true in some senses so I'll use this~

Your Birthdate: May 7

Born on the 7th day of month gives you a tendency to be something of a perfectionist and makes you more individualistic in many ways.
Your mind is good at deep mental analysis and complicated reasoning.
You are very psychic and sensitive, and you should usually follow your hunches.

You may not take orders too well, so you may want to work alone or in a situation where you can be the boss.
This birthday gives a tendency to be somewhat self-centered and a little stubborn.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Thoughts: Friends

2005-09-05T18:53:00.000+08:00

Friends

How do you define this F-word? Who are your friends? Do you define them by time? Or they are just somebody you meet up with often? Sometimes I really have no answer about that.

We all have friends, just what type of Friends....
Your Best Mates, Buddies, Classmates etc... The list can go on forever...

So often I've heard that Friends are who that understands you most...
But never have I truly met one... Then does that means I don't have any friend? Nope, I don't think so. I do have them, they are the ones who would talk to me and send a sweet message now and then...

Yet at the same time, I have another group of Friends that I've never meet in my live. They are all over the world and I can't even put a face to their name. Those are indeed strangers but in a strange way more closer than my real live friends would ever be with me.

Is it true that we all tend to be someone else in real world?
There is always words you can't say and things you can't do in live...

And I thought they say that we are supposed to pretend to be anyone on the internet...